Shift work and dating

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I like being a nurse but the hours make it so hard to meet somebody. I work every other weekend, nights and holidays. It seems as though every nurse I know who is married or in a relationship met their spouses prior to becoming a nurse or on the job (not possible for me). I am not super social and between my ft and prn hospital jobs, I just don't feel like I have time to meet someone especially with night shift.

I really want to have kids someday too.

Anyone else have this problem? Any tips?

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I like being a nurse but the hours make it so hard to meet somebody. I work every other weekend, nights and holidays. It seems as though every nurse I know who is married or in a relationship met their spouses prior to becoming a nurse or on the job (not possible for me). I am not super social and between my ft and prn hospital jobs, I just don't feel like I have time to meet someone especially with night shift.

I really want to have kids someday too.

Anyone else have this problem? Any tips?

I met both my husband and my ex- at work -- night shift in the ICU. My ex worked in the surgical unit down the hall from us, and after months of waving at the cute guy and silent elevator rides, he walked on over during a slow night and introduced himself. We went to breakfast the next morning. My DH and I worked in the same ICU for years . . . as soon as we were both single at the same time, we got together. I'd say don't completely give up on the idea of meeting someone at work. (As long as you know you can handle a breakup in a mature fashion.) You may not have any single male nurses in your unit, but you may meet an X-ray tech, pharmacist, PT or RT. Go out after breakfast with the gang -- you may meet someone who is out to breakfast with the SICU staff or the IT staff.

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Shift work definitely puts a damper on one's social life, married or not. There *are* 9-5 type nursing jobs but of course they seldom pay as well. I remember an old Ann Landers (advice columnist) comment: "You aren't going to meet the love of your life in between the TV and the refrigerator." So my advice is to get out and have fun when you are off. Hang out with your friends. Participate in activities you enjoy. If you happen to meet someone, you'll at least have that in common. Go to church if faith is a part of your life. Enroll in a fun class, take dancing lessons, a photography course, volunteer at a museum, a shelter, whatever...do things you like. Work on yourself and make yourself whole. No one wants a partner who needs someone else to complete him or her. Happiness, confidence and joy of life are attractive. Loneliness and being needy will drive anyone away. Let go of your princess bride fantasy and enjoy your finite youth. When you least expect it, it will happen. :)

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I was divorced, no kids, when I graduated from nursing school. I went out with my girlfriends & dated a few guys but nothing seemed to come along. So I decided I would be comfortable living alone. Also I was open to the possibility that the guy I met might be divorced with kids. That HAS to be a consideration--otherwise you eliminate most potential mates. I had high standards & only compromised on one, but I met the right guy & we just celebrated our 33rd anniversary. Good luck! 😊

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Specializes in ICU.
Get an ED job and land yourself a firefighter or a police officer.

Many of police officers and firefighters in my area were not the most upstanding relationship people. And maybe it was my area, but after a couple and hearing the stories from many wives, I was deterred. Especially night shift officers. They have free reign over where to spend their time, and many aren't patroling the streets if you know what I mean. I also heard stories of women who visit the firehouse at night, who are not the wives, no thank you. I'll keep my construction man.

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Specializes in ICU, Postpartum, Onc, PACU.

Of course people go out nowadays! :roflmao: Match.com was good to me when I was on it (and I was also lucky and got no weirdos), you just have to be savvy about who you meet and where. If finding someone is such a high priority and you don't currently have 2-3 days off in a row to date/go out, then maybe you should ditch the PRN job. If you can wait, then wait. The adage that "you find someone when you stop looking" isn't entirely untrue either :inlove:

xo

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Specializes in PICU.

Met my husband after becoming a nurse and working night shift. We met on match.com. Dated long distance for some time before getting married. My odd schedule made the long distance work because I could schedule a week on/week off and could see him more.

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Specializes in kids.

Been

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Yes, firefighters.

Hmm Been there, done that (well, sadly not THAT^^^^ !!!) Did not work out so well!

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Specializes in kids.

Ugh, ICR to so many of these PPs

Live in a SMALL town, have a "visible job", ie a lot of people know me because of that. I really feel like I have been here so long and single the whole time, that I have faded into the woodwork so to speak. Most of my friends are married, and I made a conscious choice to not fall into the "Men Suck" mentality that MANY single women have. My siblings are both happily married, my parents were till my dad died. I believe Happy Ever After is possible. Maybe.

Online has NOT been good to me, I really seem to attract the weirdos!!! Relocation is not doable at this point in my life, looking closer to retirement).

I can take care of myself, pwn my own home, have a great career....not sure what is missing.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.

Well I have a date coming up from online. Nervous out of my mind!

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Specializes in Behavioral Health.

Tips about dating guys from the internet, from a guy from the internet.

1. Do not shave your head for the first time prior to meeting someone new.

2. Always show up early so they have to look for you... unless you're really good at recognizing people (or dating me, who is not really good at recognizing people).

3. First dates should be super casual. Coffee, a walk downtown, crowded parks... places where it's difficult to kill you, but also conducive to conversation. If you have to only pick one, go with "difficult to kill you."

4. Remember that they need to impress you, too.

5. Come up with something interesting to say when someone asks you what you do for fun/when you're not at work. Answers like, "not much," or "watch the Voice," are conversation killers. Try "international espionage," or "I restart hearts for a @#$%ing living, what do you do?" From personal experience, these do not go over well: claiming to be an assassin, claiming to murder puppies (claiming to "slay cats" once got me "is that a euphemism?" so use your best judgment), and claiming to be filming a reality TV show about awkward first dates.

6. Don't claim you like to drink whiskey if you don't. You may end up with an expensive glass of something you hate.

7. Sharing terrible/awkward first date stories can either be hilarious and fun or super awkward... when it works it's awesome, but when it doesn't (e.g., you describe a hobby you thought was dumb that This Guy enjoys) you will want to throw down a smoke bomb and flee.

ETA:

8. Buy smoke bombs. Bring one on every date just in case. Don't go anywhere windy.

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Specializes in ER, Med/Surg.

I met both my wives online.

I met my current wife in college via the Unix 'finger' command the first time around, Purdue, 1994. We dated for a couple of months, nothing serious.

Several years later I met my first wife on an email group about ZR2 equipped Chevy trucks. She lived in PA, worked for Aetna in the fraud prevention department. My dad and I (my sister wouldn't let me drive out alone, stolen kidneys were a thing at the time) drove to PA so we could meet her and her family. About a month later she started monthly flights to see me in Indiana. She'd stay a week at a time. Several months later she moved in to my parents house, my room, but I moved into the garage. We got married a few months later. We had a little girl a year later. She was diagnose with primary pulmonary hypertension a couple of years later. Five years later, almost 5 years ago now, she passed away on Thanksgiving day, she was 36.

A couple of months later, I reconnected with my current wife on FB. We have been married about 4 years now.

So "online" but not through a service x2 for me and both worked out very well.

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I met both my wives online.

I met my current wife in college via the Unix 'finger' command the first time around, Purdue, 1994. We dated for a couple of months, nothing serious.

Several years later I met my first wife on an email group about ZR2 equipped Chevy trucks. She lived in PA, worked for Aetna in the fraud prevention department. My dad and I (my sister wouldn't let me drive out alone, stolen kidneys were a thing at the time) drove to PA so we could meet her and her family. About a month later she started monthly flights to see me in Indiana. She'd stay a week at a time. Several months later she moved in to my parents house, my room, but I moved into the garage. We got married a few months later. We had a little girl a year later. She was diagnose with primary pulmonary hypertension a couple of years later. Five years later, almost 5 years ago now, she passed away on Thanksgiving day, she was 36.

A couple of months later, I reconnected with my current wife on FB. We have been married about 4 years now.

So "online" but not through a service x2 for me and both worked out very well.

Liking for support. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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