Sex in the workplace.....what do YOU think should be done?

Nurses Relations

Published

Recently, at our small community hospital, the only hospitalist on the 7p-7a shift wasn't answering his pager when a CCU nurse was looking for him about a patient. After several attempts to reach him, she went looking for him, thinking he might be sleeping(that's allowed) Upon hearing voices behind the sleep room door, she summoned the Nsg supervisor, who found the door to be locked. She in turn got a maintenance man to unlock the door. Behind the door, she found quite a sight. The hospitalist and an off duty nurse. She was naked, he scrambling for his clothes. Both are married--not to each other.

She was given a mere 2 days suspension. He works for a physicians group that staffs hospitals, and we have not seen him since.

She has worked for the hospital for many years. What do YOU think should happen to her?

Thank goodness they have good, moral, upstanding people in place at that hospital to make sure their nurses don't traumatize themselves by "accidentally" walking into a locked room and witnessing adultery.

Churchlady02.jpg‎

Wow, I had to laugh, more at some of these replies than the original post. A lot of you guys sound so defensive of these two peoples conduct, as though you're saying " hey, what's the problem, it's totally cool to have extramarital sex, no problem there, totally normal and healthy, just don't get caught, no judgement here mate." I'm trying to find a more polite way to put this, but you sound like a bunch of idiots or amoral people. Put that into practice in your own life and wait till it bites you in the ---. Wreck the foundation of your marriage or significant relationship (trust?) and see what happens in your life. Juvenile, self-indulgent, self-centered, egotistical - I'm glad I don't have to work with some of you, and your "if it feels good, do it," undiscriminating mentalities.

Specializes in critical care.

It CAN be normal and healthy to have extramarital sex. 100%. If my husband and I are compatible in every way but sexually, it would not bother me in the least if he got it elsewhere. Rules, boundaries, and communication would be discussed and established up front. Sex is a biological need- more for some than others. I'm not going to have my marriage fall apart because he wants it more than me.

We all have a different moral compass from one another. Don't judge.

Wow, I had to laugh, more at some of these replies than the original post. A lot of you guys sound so defensive of these two peoples conduct, as though you're saying " hey, what's the problem, it's totally cool to have extramarital sex, no problem there, totally normal and healthy, just don't get caught, no judgement here mate." I'm trying to find a more polite way to put this, but you sound like a bunch of idiots or amoral people. Put that into practice in your own life and wait till it bites you in the ---. Wreck the foundation of your marriage or significant relationship (trust?) and see what happens in your life. Juvenile, self-indulgent, self-centered, egotistical - I'm glad I don't have to work with some of you, and your "if it feels good, do it," undiscriminating mentalities.

There is a whole lot of ground between thinking adultery and/or sex on the work site is wrong or stupid (I personally do) and going out of your way to make sure you catch someone in the act (NOT knocking on the door, chasing down supervisors and maintenance men to quietly unlock the door in order to expose and humiliate), and even further, being self righteous, smug, and judgmental about others' moral choices.

You DON'T have to approve of their actions-yet that doesn't necessarily translate into the imo, immature and totally unnecessary actions on the part of the CCU nurse and nursing supervisor. There were several other alternative ways of handling this situation.

Specializes in Neonatal Nurse Practitioner.
Wow, I had to laugh, more at some of these replies than the original post. A lot of you guys sound so defensive of these two peoples conduct, as though you're saying " hey, what's the problem, it's totally cool to have extramarital sex, no problem there, totally normal and healthy, just don't get caught, no judgement here mate." I'm trying to find a more polite way to put this, but you sound like a bunch of idiots or amoral people. Put that into practice in your own life and wait till it bites you in the ---. Wreck the foundation of your marriage or significant relationship (trust?) and see what happens in your life. Juvenile, self-indulgent, self-centered, egotistical - I'm glad I don't have to work with some of you, and your "if it feels good, do it," undiscriminating mentalities.

I don't take the posts of 'a lot of you guys' as sounding as defensive as you're making it out to be. There seems to be a divide in how the situation is viewed. Either you think that they should be disciplined harshly because they offended you with their amoralism...

or (And this is my take on it, so it is going to be much more detailed.)

1) You consider whether they broke any hospital policies (Because they weren't breaking any law)

2) Realize that these are adults and even though you don't like that they were committing adultery/getting some/ignoring pages, it is not your responsibility to try or sentence them, revoke their licenses, take pictures, post them in the cafeteria, tell their spouses, or anything else.

3) Then you go back and wonder why it was absolutely necessary to unlock a door and barge in without knocking first. You don't need to see them undressed or in the act of anything. Knock first. Always. duh. Whether you hear noises or not. Lol.. What if he was choking his monkey without anyone's help: you still should have knocked first. And if the patient needed attention immediately, why would it not be appropriate to knock on the door. I think it would have been much quicker than the process she went through to catch the doc in the act.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
wow, i had to laugh, more at some of these replies than the original post. a lot of you guys sound so defensive of these two peoples conduct, as though you're saying " hey, what's the problem, it's totally cool to have extramarital sex, no problem there, totally normal and healthy, just don't get caught, no judgement here mate." i'm trying to find a more polite way to put this, but you sound like a bunch of idiots or amoral people. put that into practice in your own life and wait till it bites you in the ---. wreck the foundation of your marriage or significant relationship (trust?) and see what happens in your life. juvenile, self-indulgent, self-centered, egotistical - i'm glad i don't have to work with some of you, and your "if it feels good, do it," undiscriminating mentalities.

​can you teach me how to not be judgemental?

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
i'm not sure if you're aware of it, but this post makes you sound spiteful.

why did you leave your patient? i think you had some options. overhead page. is there not a phone in the on-call room? couldn't you have sent an aide or a tech if you really needed to hunt him down? sorry, but i personally cannot see the sense in leaving a patient who needed urgent care so you could go on a mission to track down the doctor. why didn't you just have him bomb-paged?

sorry, but your follow-up posts sound like you have personal issues with this doctor and nurse. who cares how old either of them are? people of all ages make dumb decisions.

eta: i posted this incorrectly. i should have said why did the nurse in question leave her patient and not try other options to contact the doctor. i do think the op sounds spiteful. there's part of me that thinks we're being punk'd by the op. the part about getting the maintenance man is a bit over the top.

Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.

Honestly after some the replies from the OP I'm starting to wonder if she wasn't the CCU nurse who barged in on the nurse and doctor?

Having been cheated on I think adultery is disgusting. But how do you know they don't have open marriages or "understandings" with their spouses? And you seem to revel in how wrong you think the doc and nurse are but you don't really seem to feel bad for their spouses. You just seem to take great delight that they were caught. Knock on the damn door next time and myob unless it directly affects you.

Specializes in NICU, PICU, PACU.

I would have stood there and banged on the door....and yelled...Doc you okay? lol We have had this so many times where I work...residents and new nurses lol

Specializes in Acute Mental Health.

I still think they're nasty. If anyone is on the clock, getting paid to have sex is probably not in the job description! EWWWWWW!!!!

Oh BTW, I've never seen one open marriage actually last even if you're compatable in every way except sexually. Sounds like a friendship that would continue even after divorce.

Specializes in Acute Mental Health.
I would have stood there and banged on the door....and yelled...Doc you okay? lol We have had this so many times where I work...residents and new nurses lol

Way too funny!!!!

I still think they're nasty. If anyone is on the clock, getting paid to have sex is probably not in the job description! EWWWWWW!!!!

Oh BTW, I've never seen one open marriage actually last even if you're compatable in every way except sexually. Sounds like a friendship that would continue even after divorce.

Maybe you know people with long lasting open marriages that you just don't happen to know are open.

It wouldn't work for me, but that's sure not to say it can't work.

None of that is really the issue here, though. What kind of agreements the people involved had with their spouses is none of anyone's business. The only person who should have been involved in this whole sordid story is perhaps the nursing supervisor or whoever is responsible for tracking down a physician who is not returning pages. I doubt the patient was even that much in need if his nurse had time to leave the unit, listen to voices behind a closed door, go find a nursing supervisor, then a maintenance man, and then participate in the triumphant exhibition of the offending parties. I never had that kind of time away from the unit when I worked ICU.

And I, too wondered if the OP is in fact the "CCU RN."

+ Add a Comment