Seriously?! Grrrr.

TexasMel · Jan 19, 2018

I once had to test during an usually heavy period day. There was SO much blood and a few clots in my pee cup. The lady taking my pee had been doing this for like 30 years and it even made her gag. Achievement unlocked.

í ½í±† This is my biggest fear. The first day of my period is out of control. And I get tested by a dude. He's going to have to deal with it one day soon, I'm sure.

catsmeow1972, BSN, RN · Jan 19, 2018

This argument makes even less sense...checking in...say the evening or night before would make zero difference in your "random" support of this atrocity...there is in fact almost zero way to fool a test within almost a 72 hour window...do some homework...the only way is time...as in many days between testing...and so you are not alone...I work days and have become like Pavlovs dog as I wake up like a clock at midnight and check...then fall back asleep etc...repeat...explain how being able to say check in at 9 pm etc...the night before would even matter?

When I'm finally done with all of this nonsense (which finally there is more behind me than ahead of me) I wonder if I am ever going to be able to sleep past 4 am again. It was fine when I worked because I'd wake at 4, check the website (I refuse to put any app on my phone on the principle that I don't want to look at an icon of these clowns every time I look at my phone) get up, shower, etc. I then have time for coffee, feed the cats, a little quiet time for internet surfing (All Nurses reading, ha ha...) then go to work (or test, **** it and be late to work).

Now same thing, only I check and roll over and go back to sleep until the lab opens. I still go first thing in the morning. Done, over with and not a shot in Hades of it being dilute.

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Jan 19, 2018

Yeah, I'm a pee before work guy and thus far have not had a dilute specimen that I know of. Plus it puts it behind me for the day. I check my phone when I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (old man bladder) alarm accordingly 5A for Pee & 630A for no pee. As far as timing the pee tests. Honestly, I don't think 24 hours notice would make much of a difference. However, I know some nurses still drink and drug in this program and invariably get caught. I would never give them that satisfaction besides I think it would ruin my buzz. I wish they would simply go to a system that would provide the coverage and insurance of sobriety they need (hair tests?) whereas we submit to scheduled testing within the detection period. For example, If a hair test shows 30 (+) days of potential substance use why should we have to go more often. I believe this daily checking is just another layer of retribution for being "bad". If you miss you daily check in its another thing to punish you for and make you reside in this purgatory a little longer. Of course as you probably all know I don't see why we have to do the idiotic meetings either if we can stay clean on our own. If we can't then bust out the whole batch of nonsense but at least give us a chance to see if we can do it without this additional "support".

malamud69, BSN, RN · Jan 19, 2018

Yeah, I'm a pee before work guy and thus far have not had a dilute specimen that I know of. Plus it puts it behind me for the day. I check my phone when I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (old man bladder) alarm accordingly 5A for Pee & 630A for no pee. As far as timing the pee tests. Honestly, I don't think 24 hours notice would make much of a difference. However, I know some nurses still drink and drug in this program and invariably get caught. I would never give them that satisfaction besides I think it would ruin my buzz. I wish they would simply go to a system that would provide the coverage and insurance of sobriety they need (hair tests?) whereas we submit to scheduled testing within the detection period. For example, If a hair test shows 30 (+) days of potential substance use why should we have to go more often. I believe this daily checking is just another layer of retribution for being "bad". If you miss you daily check in its another thing to punish you for and make you reside in this purgatory a little longer. Of course as you probably all know I don't see why we have to do the idiotic meetings either if we can stay clean on our own. If we can't then bust out the whole batch of nonsense but at least give us a chance to see if we can do it without this additional "support".

As in any standard real estate transaction...everybody's gotta get paid! Its really that simple...logic? Public safety? Science? Evidence? Those words are crazy talk...c'mon now!

StillRN · Jan 19, 2018

Be grateful you can check at midnight and have to entire day to test. We have to time our check-in's very carefully as we only get 5 hours from the minute of check-in to test and most places are only open 7-8am - 4-5pm. If we are late to a test (even minutes) we get time added to our "sentence"!

I've had many embarrassing moments while testing... i get nervous i wont be able to go... then the nerves activate everything else! Sucks!!

malamud69, BSN, RN · Jan 19, 2018

Be grateful you can check at midnight and have to entire day to test. We have to time our check-in's very carefully as we only get 5 hours from the minute of check-in to test and most places are only open 7-8am - 4-5pm. If we are late to a test (even minutes) we get time added to our "sentence"!
I've had many embarrassing moments while testing... i get nervous i wont be able to go... then the nerves activate everything else! Sucks!!

Thanks for the perspective

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Jan 19, 2018

True Still True!!!

TexasNurse2014 · Jan 20, 2018

I hear ya!!! I'm in Texas too.

3ringnursing, BSN · Jan 24, 2018

I used to be passively aggressive in the only way meek, repentant, chastised and exposed drug addict me could: on the days my color was "randomly" called I'd eat a can of cream of asparagus soup for breakfast.

By midmorning when I arrived to drop my body had had plenty of time to convert asparagusic acid enzymes into that nasty smelling sulfur containing chemical and get reeeeeeeeal stinky. I'd hand over my urine with a sweet, ladylike smile. Enjoy. :laugh:

[h=2][/h]

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Jan 24, 2018

HA SUPER!!!

malamud69, BSN, RN · Jan 24, 2018

I used to be passively aggressive in the only way meek, repentant, chastised and exposed drug addict me could: on the days my color was "randomly" called I'd eat a can of cream of asparagus soup for breakfast.
By midmorning when I arrived to drop my body had had plenty of time to convert asparagusic acid enzymes into that nasty smelling sulfur containing chemical and get reeeeeeeeal stinky. I'd hand over my urine with a sweet, ladylike smile. Enjoy.
[h=2][/h]

Too bad its not a random poop

catsmeow1972, BSN, RN · Jan 24, 2018

I used to be passively aggressive in the only way meek, repentant, chastised and exposed drug addict me could: on the days my color was "randomly" called I'd eat a can of cream of asparagus soup for breakfast.
By midmorning when I arrived to drop my body had had plenty of time to convert asparagusic acid enzymes into that nasty smelling sulfur containing chemical and get reeeeeeeeal stinky. I'd hand over my urine with a sweet, ladylike smile. Enjoy.
[h=2][/h]

My compliments to your passive aggressiveness. My geeky little brain has spent entirely too much time considering methods of small harmeless yet amusing revenge on this experience. I must say I have never thought up this one.

I very rarely have any issues with the lab folks. I have the distinct impression they think about as much of this program as I do. As in, it has its place and it's purpose but the way it's used now is abusive. I tend to not want to hurl my thoughts of abuse toward the lab folk, but should I need to in the future, I suppose I could make myself have such for breakfast.