Seems parents aren't parenting

Cattz, ADN · Apr 18, 2016

Not being home and not reachable by cell phone when the school nurse calls is not a failure of parenting. It's life.
No parent should be threatened with the police for not returning a call for 2 hours. That is ******* outrageous.
Not everyone has the job/lifestyle to be able to receive and return phone calls within 30 minutes.
And CPS should never, ever be used as a threat. If you suspect abuse or neglect, you call. If you use the threat of a call to get someone to do what you want, there should be consequences for you.
If my school nurse treated me in this manner I would take whatever action I could against her.
If you think it's your job to make enemies of parents, well. Good luck.

Wow. Just Wow. You obviously don't get what our jobs are all about. And I am guessing anybody that "likes" your comment, doesn't get it either. It isn't even worth trying to explain.

Just check the threads. It will shed some light on where we are coming from and why we do what we do...every school day. I hope you will gain some insight. (this is exactly why I don't post on other specialties.) Happy Monday.

lifelearningrn, BSN, RN · Apr 18, 2016

Not being home and not reachable by cell phone when the school nurse calls is not a failure of parenting. It's life.
No parent should be threatened with the police for not returning a call for 2 hours. That is ******* outrageous.
Not everyone has the job/lifestyle to be able to receive and return phone calls within 30 minutes.
And CPS should never, ever be used as a threat. If you suspect abuse or neglect, you call. If you use the threat of a call to get someone to do what you want, there should be consequences for you.
If my school nurse treated me in this manner I would take whatever action I could against her.
If you think it's your job to make enemies of parents, well. Good luck.

Since this post was directed at me, I'll respond. It was not me who threatened a call to the police and CPS, it was the registrar when a student, with severe chemical imbalances and not taking meds because the parent's failed to refill them, became a danger to himself and other students in the classroom. 2+ hours of calling the parents to come pick up up were on deaf ears, until that call. Within 2 minutes mom had called back and within 20 minutes someone showed up to get the child (who had to be hospitalized for over a week for med adjustments after this incident). His behavior was DANGEROUS.

Your job as a parent does not end when you drop Janie or Johnny off at school. There should ALWAYS be someone available to address issues that pop up during the school day. I don't think returning a phone call within 30 minutes is unreasonable. If you don't have a job where that is possible, you should have contacts listed at school to take your place. What do you expect in an emergency?? If your child has a fever of 104? Has a seizure? Falls off the jungle gym and breaks an arm?

My kids' school(s) call me first, if I don't answer, they leave a message and immediately call my husband. If HE doesn't answer, they go to the next person on our list, my father-in-law. I also have my brother-in-law, sister, best friend and neighbor on the list. If there is an emergency, I expect them to go down that list until someone is reached! I have a child with severe migraines, and even though he has meds at school, sometimes he needs to go home. The thought of him suffering all day in the nurses office because I couldn't be bothered is unfathomable.

OyWithThePoodles, RN · Apr 18, 2016

It seems like we are darned if we do, darned if we don't, and until someone has walked in our shoes they wont know what it's like.

I have moms get mad at me for NOT calling them at work. I will call their phone, no answer, wait a few...then call dad, who the child tells me is at home. So to try and save mom from being called at work, and since she didn't answer her phone I will call dad. WRONG.

Then the ones that get mad because I DID call them at work instead of calling the other parent who was at home.

Then the ones who I've tried calling several times and waited over an hour with no call back, so I move on down the list. They get upset when I have to call Granny to come pick the kid up. Hey, if you didn't want them called you shouldn't have put them on the list.

Then the ones who get mad because I did call the #1 person, got an answer, they will be picking the kid up...but I didn't call the dad who the child only sees on the weekend to let him know. (Not sure why parents can't talk to each other instead of expecting me to be the go-between, because ya know, I've got plenty of time for that.)

Our job, our only job, is to ensure the safety and health of our students. Your job as a parent is to be there for them. Not assume your responsibility ends when the child walks through the door.

I've never called or threatened CPS, but if you send your kid to school and cannot be reached at all afterwards, are you not neglecting them in some manner?

Especially the one who said the parent called back 2 minutes after CPS was threatened, it goes to show that the parent was getting the messages and just chose to flat out ignore the needs of their child, putting everyone else at risk.

*Excuse typos, my brain is working faster than my fingers*

lifelearningrn, BSN, RN · Apr 18, 2016

Especially the one who said the parent called back 2 minutes after CPS was threatened, it goes to show that the parent was getting the messages and just chose to flat out ignore the needs of their child, putting everyone else at risk.

This was exactly the situation. This child, when medications are well regulated is an angel, when he is 'off his meds' it's obvious. His parents had been ignoring calls for several days leading up to this incident, where the behavior escalated to the point where he was endangering himself, his classmates, and school staff (I don't want to go into details for obvious reasons). After admin calling with no luck, me calling over 2 hours with no luck, I was ready to call 911-- that's when the registrar said, "let me try". Magic!

zombieghoast · Apr 18, 2016

I had a student come to my office with a stomach ache and teacher was insistent of me calling the mom to pick her up because she never complains(even though the student didn't have breakfast). Called up mom and she basically yelled at the daughter for calling her and told her to call her father. Called up dad and told him the mother said he had to pick her up. Fast forward a few days later to the dad calling and informing me that him and ex-wife are going through a divorce and I might get a call from a lawyer due to the mom "abandoning" the daughter by not picking her up for no reason.

OldDude · Apr 18, 2016

So...invitale...if your child is sitting in my clinic for 2 hours or longer with his lower arm splinted in the shape of a Z...that's just life; he is just going to have to understand you have obligations that take precedence over him during the school day. Got it.

Cattz, ADN · Apr 18, 2016

So...invitale...if your child is sitting in my clinic for 2 hours or longer with his lower arm splinted in the shape of a Z...that's just life; he is just going to have to understand you have obligations that take precedence over him during the school day. Got it.

I think you better ask for a parent signature on this one. Just to make sure we are all on the same page.

Yep. Got. It.

AdobeRN · Apr 18, 2016

Then the ones who get mad because I did call the #1 person, got an answer, they will be picking the kid up...but I didn't call the dad who the child only sees on the weekend to let him know. (Not sure why parents can't talk to each other instead of expecting me to be the go-between, because ya know, I've got plenty of time for that.)

One of the major problems I have....I have almost 900 students k-5 and can not possibly keep up with who is together, separated etc. Somehow it gets turned around to be my fault that the other parent wasn't notified.

At registration/beginning of the school year parents are given the choice to place the phone numbers in the order of who they want to be called. I go down until I get a live person on the phone, once that happens my calls stop unless that person tells me to call someone else.

lifelearningrn, BSN, RN · Apr 18, 2016

One of the major problems I have....I have almost 900 students k-5 and can not possibly keep up with who is together, separated etc. Somehow it gets turned around to be my fault that the other parent wasn't notified.
At registration/beginning of the school year parents are given the choice to place the phone numbers in the order of who they want to be called. I go down until I get a live person on the phone, once that happens my calls stop unless that person tells me to call someone else.

This is how I do it too.. I go down the list until someone answers. I do leave messages with the primary number but if it is something that need to be immediately addressed, I keep going down the list until I speak to someone. My calls stop when someone answers or with the first person to return my call (whichever comes first).

I've never felt an obligation to give courtesy calls to non/shared custodial parents. :no:

OyWithThePoodles, RN · Apr 18, 2016

One of the major problems I have....I have almost 900 students k-5 and can not possibly keep up with who is together, separated etc. Somehow it gets turned around to be my fault that the other parent wasn't notified.
At registration/beginning of the school year parents are given the choice to place the phone numbers in the order of who they want to be called. I go down until I get a live person on the phone, once that happens my calls stop unless that person tells me to call someone else.

Right?! And usually the "mad" parent is like #3 on the list. #1 Being the live-in parent, #2- the live-in step-parent, and then them. I will call until I get someone, but I do not have time to call EVERYONE in the family to let them know someone is picking Susie up. :)

Feral.Cat.Herder, RN · Apr 18, 2016

Maybe the topic subject should have been "Irresponsible Parenting". It's obvious to any school nurse that many, not all, parents aren't willing to be responsible for updating contact info, talking to the absent parent, ensuring your child has correct amount of medication or prn Meds for asthma and life threatening allergies, having a plan A B and even C in placed in case you can't be reached in a timely matter.

Feral.Cat.Herder, RN · Apr 18, 2016

Not being home and not reachable by cell phone when the school nurse calls is not a failure of parenting. It's life.
No parent should be threatened with the police for not returning a call for 2 hours. That is ******* outrageous.
Not everyone has the job/lifestyle to be able to receive and return phone calls within 30 minutes.
And CPS should never, ever be used as a threat. If you suspect abuse or neglect, you call. If you use the threat of a call to get someone to do what you want, there should be consequences for you.
If my school nurse treated me in this manner I would take whatever action I could against her.
If you think it's your job to make enemies of parents, well. Good luck.

If you have not got a plan B in place or up to date phone # and you child is in an emergent or serious situation what is your suggestion for the school nurse to do? When you take "whatever action against her" and she explains you were unreachable and had no other contact information listed you may find the courts agreeing with the school policy of doing whatever it takes to ensure the child's health and safety are first priority. CPS may even find it interesting that you as the parent think policy is ********* outrageous instead of your child's best interest, safety and health taking precedence over your so busy life.