Seasoned nurses really affecting my self esteem as a newer nurse..need to vent?

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I work at a drug rehab facility. I have a great "lead nurse" But thing is she can uses her years of experience to constantly shoot down all of my ideas and suggestions.

She points out wrongs sometimes and love to say and also say to clients I've been a nurse for 20 years.

If I make a simple mistakes, she say to the Dr well she did this and that. I feel like the Dr doesn't trust my judgment and see me as incompetent.

One day, while giving report a client walked in and asked for tums, she says to the client are you sure its heartburn or a heart attack, let me know while I'm here because I'm the only one that can save your life here.

Also, when I send email saying I.E a client is having a migraine, she'll go behind me and say I;ve been as nurse 20 years these symptoms are not consistent with a migraine, maybe a headache but not a migraine. I told her a migraine is subjective.

I also work PRN every other weekend and I have bad anxiety because I don't know what will come up, I look at my notes, will do everything to find a answer but if I check with another nurse she seems bother and I overheard some nurses saying I always need their help.

I'm so depressed that I don't know how to be a nurse, I want to quit altogether sometimes. I exceeded in school and clinicals but now I just don't know.

I don't want to sound negative, but any tips at all? I just need to vent.

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Specializes in PACU.

So this is your first job as an LPN? RN?

How much training/orientation did you get? how many people are you responsible for? are there other nurses working the same shift as you?

Just looking to see more about the job situation before I offer any advice.

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So this is your first job as an LPN? RN?

How much training/orientation did you get? how many people are you responsible for? are there other nurses working the same shift as you?

Just looking to see more about the job situation before I offer any advice.

Hi! I'm an LPN

I started off at my other LTC job PRN and then took this job full-time so it's my first full time job (the drug rehab job).

When I started at the LTC is got 1 1/2 week worth of training and at the drug rehab probably 1 week.

At the LTC job its two other nurses on the floor at the drug rehab facility. I'm the only nurse for the shift.

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Specializes in ER.

Well, maybe you are wrong more often than her, and you ask more questions, but she's being a tit. I've been a nurse 28 years, so I outrank her. She should encourage questions, and go out of her way to explain things to you. Stuff that is like reciting the alphabet to her is new to you, and that doesn't make you stupid, it makes you new. Pointing out all you faults DOES make her rude and unprofessional.

In some workplaces, dumping on the new guy is a sport, because so long as everyone is talking about how dumb he is they aren't talking about anyone else. Its a very hard habit to break, as a group, and impossible if you are the new person. There's a 50/50 shot of improving things if you stand up to her, but it's hard.

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She needs to be held to a higher standard because she's the lead nurse, it isn't like she's just a peer so this behaviour needs to be addressed. There's a lot of nurses out there who love thinking they are god's gift to nursing. And only they can save the patients. Her behaviour is unprofessional.

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Well, maybe you are wrong more often than her, and you ask more questions, but she's being a tit. I've been a nurse 28 years, so I outrank her. She should encourage questions, and go out of her way to explain things to you. Stuff that is like reciting the alphabet to her is new to you, and that doesn't make you stupid, it makes you new. Pointing out all you faults DOES make her rude and unprofessional.

In some workplaces, dumping on the new guy is a sport, because so long as everyone is talking about how dumb he is they aren't talking about anyone else. Its a very hard habit to break, as a group, and impossible if you are the new person. There's a 50/50 shot of improving things if you stand up to her, but it's hard.[/quote

I agree, It just make me so unconfident in my decisions. I also HATE the fact that the Dr doesn't trust me. Sometimes she'll ignore my emails or calls but responds to her. She soley depends on her. I try to have that open communication and it sucks.

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She needs to be held to a higher standard because she's the lead nurse, it isn't like she's just a peer so this behaviour needs to be addressed. There's a lot of nurses out there who love thinking they are god's gift to nursing. And only they can save the patients. Her behaviour is unprofessional.

Right! and all the client hold things over my head like she'll leave for the day and tell them they can take a med 2 hours early. I tell them no, they love to point out that she's the lead nurse. We don't have badges, our titles are not known but she tells them " I'm the lead nurse". I'm trying to get at least a year experience and then I'm out of here. One time, I ask her why do you say that to the clients I find it rude? We have the same title, maybe not same experience but I'm capable of saving someone's life. uggh

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Specializes in school nurse.

Well, sorry to contradict you, but she certainly isn't a "great" lead nurse...

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Specializes in ER.

She's not the lead nurse once she leaves. You have to answer for your own actions, and follow policies. If she REALLY wanted the med given early, she would have gone through the proper channels, gotten an order and notified you. Not left a message with the patient to do as she says. (facepalm!)

Ask your boss if she has any authority over you, just to clarify things. Make a list of some of the things she does to undermine you, and share tem if you feel comfortable. Drug abuse clients are masters at staff splitting, and you may need a come to Jesus meeting to clear things up.

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You can do what I do as a new(er) nurse (15 months): I play a game in my head called Flip It with crabby pants like this Lead Rn. I flip it around: whatever behavior they are doing to you: backstabbing, overly constructive criticism, checking your charting, downplaying your knowledge to the doc? OK. I just ask myself: how can I suck all the learning out of this interaction?

1. what can I learn from this

2. did I really do something I should not do again and why

3. try not to repeat if # 2 is correct

4. every time, cheerfully thank the person for taking their time to "help" you whether it was passive aggressive or nasty or valid or whatever who cares? If I flip the script on them and use what they did/said etc to learn, they are wasting their time being a crabby pants and teaching me in the process even if they are not really trying to help me

5. Bounce back like a rubber ball or a whack-a-mole..I just pop back up and smile and totally pretend I didnt "get" that they were being nasty-ish. Its super annoying. Focus on the patient.

6. Some crabby pants co-workers get an endorphin hit from seeing a newbie in passive-aggressive-induced emotional pain. Give them nothing. Do not care personally about their nastiness. This means you win Flip It points.

7. Sure they know more, they have been doing it longer: experiential learning is empirically proven as the highest level for learning. Its like they have been in school for 20 years. Good for them, they sound dumb when they keep saying it like that. Really awesome experienced nurses dont run around saying "I know XZY I ve been a nurse for blah blah blah years" with every interaction. The awesome ones are just awesome, they dont need to tell everyone how awesome. And the awesome nurses are focused on the PATIENT not themselves.

8. Who cares if the doc thinks youre stupid sometimes. You are. I know I am. Just dont be dangerous! Be careful, thorough, and get your orders properly, practice in your license and keep the patient first. Thats all any of us can do, even super smarty pants experienced crabby pants nurses.

9. Crabby pants are often personally insecure. And no one is right all the time. We all have things to learn.

10. On the other side, I have found there are lots of awesome tenured nurses out there who love to teach. Treasure them and tell them politely how you look up to them if you mean it. I bring nice fresh Starbucks to them. They are a treasure.

11. One day I will be a old awesome # 10 and I will use my tenure and smartypantsness to troll the old crabbypants and have lots of time to support and encourage new nurses. This is my goal besides caring for the patient.

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First, tell Nurse Ratchet to shove it!

She sounds so egotistical. What God-Aweful behavior! That is no way to lead your nurses, no way to talk to patients, and belittling you to the doctor?!

Girl, it is not you who is ignorant or incompetent. It's her. Why, I never!!!

You diserve so much more respect than that. I swear most nurses aren't like she is.

If you were my baby-nurse, I would make sure you knew how appreciated and smart you are. I think it's time for you to have a talk with the supervisor. If the supervisor lets that behavior persist, then it's time to find a new job, because no job is worth that kind of emotional strain.

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Specializes in ED, Cardiac-step down, tele, med surg.

Can you talk to her in private and say that the things she says bother you? It will feel really awkward but if you two are in private no one will know and you will feel so much better after speaking with her. Regardless of what she says, you will know that you addressed the situation driectly. Then after that, if it didn't stop, I'd go above her.

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