Second grade student brought in by his assistant teacher just now.
Teacher "J needs you to look at his arm. He says he felt something bite him and look at his arm, it is all red".
Me : "J, can you tell me why you are here"? (I hate when teachers speak for the kids)
J: "Something bit me and now it is all red, look"!
I look at his arm and there is a small, oval-shaped area of redness.
Me: "I'll tell you what bit you. I can see what looks like four top and four bottom teeth marks. Did you bite your own arm"?
Teacher's eyes widen at this point and her face turns red
J: "well, yes I did bite my arm. But it already was red".
Me: "Go wash your arm with soap and water and apologize to your teacher for wasting her time and mine".