School Nurses Say the Darndest Things, Too

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Specializes in DD, PD/Agency Peds, School Sites.

Okay, I confess. I get belly laughs from reading the things said by patients, children, their parents, etc. You can add me to the list. My first year of nursing was at a high school site in an area of which I had little in-depth knowledge. A teacher sent me a student due to a visible cut on his head that looked several days old. I asked the student, "How did this happen?" He replied, "I got pistol whipped." I scrunched up my forehead and asked him, "With WHAT?" I will never forget the look on his face. But he ended up laughing pretty hard, so it was worth it. Anyone else have good ones? How brave are you to share them? :-)

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Specializes in Vents, Telemetry, Home Care, Home infusion.

LOL...!

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A student knocked on the clinic door at 8:20. When I opened the door and saw who it was I said, "School just started and you are fine. Go back to class."

Her response - "I just came to give you a valentine."... Oops.

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Jlha,

I had a major giggle with that LOL!!!! I tend to put on my mean face early in the morning, and sometimes the kids are coming to say hello!!! I can't help myself!

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Specializes in DD, PD/Agency Peds, School Sites.
A student knocked on the clinic door at 8:20. When I opened the door and saw who it was I said, "School just started and you are fine. Go back to class."

Her response - "I just came to give you a valentine."... Oops.

I just majorly choked on my water. LOL!!!! Awesome.

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

I just spent 10 minutes with a student convinced she was someone else! I was so confused when she told me Boy was I confused, but in my defense, both students look similar, have the same first name and both are almost never in my office!!

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Student mumbling that she needs a pad. I heard "pass" and I said For what? Student looking at me...I'm repeating, what do you need it for? you weren't here! (thinking the kid was trying to get out of class..) Students says I know, I didn't know I had to come here for my period, only if I needed a pad...

Me: Oh.. a PAD!!!!

D'oh.

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Once, as a new teacher, I had a headache, and went to the nurse's office. The regular nurse wasn't there, so I politely asked the substitute nurse for some Advil.

"Do you have your own bottle?" she asked.

"No," I replied, a bit confused, "that's why I'm asking you for some."

"Do you have a note?" she asked.

"No," I said, now totally confused.

"Well, then, I can't give you any," she concluded.

Then the lightbulb went off in my head, and I tried again.

"Does it matter than I'm a teacher?" I asked, holding up my lanyard with its big ring of school keys.

The students who witnessed our awkward exchange were highly amused, but in the end at least I got my Advil.

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

ha I had a similar encounter as turtlesRcool when I was a younger nurse in my last district - I got pulled out of my school to cover the high school for the day and during the course of the day I got a call to go to the office to the VPs office for a suspected under the influence. I grabbed the BP cuff and a few other things and walked up that way and asked politely how to get to Mr. So and So's office -the secretary got nasty with me and asked where my hall pass was and that he was very busy. I suppose I should have been happy that I was perceived as so young but I remember being annoyed (probably at her tone) so I explained that I was indeed the nurse for the day, I was in fact employed by the district as a permanent employee in another school and I was also pushing 30.

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This just happened to me the other day. Over the walkie I heard "We need someone on the playground for back injury!" My teachers know to only call me over the walkie if it's serious, so I jumped up and ran out. I arrived on the playground to find an injured bat. I didn't hear them quite clearly when they called for a bat injury, not a back. Whew.

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Specializes in DD, PD/Agency Peds, School Sites.

All of these are fabulous. Thanks for the contributions!

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Specializes in School Nursing, Telemetry.

Something similar happened to me! There is a set of twins that are in the same second grade class. They look pretty much identical and never come into my office, so I wasn't even acquainted with them at all. Twin #1 came in because her eye was bothering her. Looked like pink eye and I sent her home. Didn't even know she was a twin. Later in the day (probably a couple hours later), Twin #2 came in and said her eye was bothering her. I was SO CONFUSED. I said, "Didn't I send you home earlier?" She looked at me like I was a psycho and said, "That was my sister." Then, I hear the office staff dying laughing as they heard the whole exchange...awesome. The crazy nurse strikes again!

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