School Nurses Say the Darndest Things, Too

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Okay, I confess. I get belly laughs from reading the things said by patients, children, their parents, etc. You can add me to the list. My first year of nursing was at a high school site in an area of which I had little in-depth knowledge. A teacher sent me a student due to a visible cut on his head that looked several days old. I asked the student, "How did this happen?" He replied, "I got pistol whipped." I scrunched up my forehead and asked him, "With WHAT?" I will never forget the look on his face. But he ended up laughing pretty hard, so it was worth it. Anyone else have good ones? How brave are you to share them? :-)

Something similar happened to me! There is a set of twins that are in the same second grade class. They look pretty much identical and never come into my office, so I wasn't even acquainted with them at all. Twin #1 came in because her eye was bothering her. Looked like pink eye and I sent her home. Didn't even know she was a twin. Later in the day (probably a couple hours later), Twin #2 came in and said her eye was bothering her. I was SO CONFUSED. I said, "Didn't I send you home earlier?" She looked at me like I was a psycho and said, "That was my sister." Then, I hear the office staff dying laughing as they heard the whole exchange...awesome. The crazy nurse strikes again!

my computer screen in now covered in peach mango tea!! I needed this laugh!!!

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Something similar happened to me! There is a set of twins that are in the same second grade class. They look pretty much identical and never come into my office, so I wasn't even acquainted with them at all. Twin #1 came in because her eye was bothering her. Looked like pink eye and I sent her home. Didn't even know she was a twin. Later in the day (probably a couple hours later), Twin #2 came in and said her eye was bothering her. I was SO CONFUSED. I said, "Didn't I send you home earlier?" She looked at me like I was a psycho and said, "That was my sister." Then, I hear the office staff dying laughing as they heard the whole exchange...awesome. The crazy nurse strikes again!

Hahahahaha! I have a similar/non-nursing story.

My sisters are identical twins. One of them lives about 10 minutes from me and the other lives about an hour away. My kids and I were out to store and I hear them start shouting "Aunt ©! Aunt ©! Aunt © is here!!!" (this being the aunt that lives an hour away) and I look over and say "Hey, children- two things! A- that's Aunt (A). B- stop shouting and go say hi!"

More than once we've arrived for a party at A's house and one of my kids has run to my sister C and asked her if Aunt C was coming :)

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Twins! There's one set of almost identical twins in the 1st grade - I have learned that the one with an "M" in her name also has a Marilyn Monroe-style mole, so that is how I can cheat and tell them apart. But in 3rd grade we have TRIPLETS, one boy and two girls, and while they do look slightly different I can't tell the girls apart at all!! They love to tease me for it too.

Today's D'OH moment - telling a KG student to put pressure on her nosebleed and being surprised that she just sticks the tissue up her nostril.

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

i have some twins where i just admit defeat and ask who are you Melissa or Mandy? I have some siblings who are just too close in age that they look like they could be twins - pair that with me seeing them only on occasion and you bet i'm asking who they are! When they gripe about it I simply ask them if they know my name - when they answer "Nurse" - i say - see -and i have 800 of you to keep track of at least i'm a little close - you only have one of me to learn my name.

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i have some twins where i just admit defeat and ask who are you Melissa or Mandy? I have some siblings who are just too close in age that they look like they could be twins - pair that with me seeing them only on occasion and you bet i'm asking who they are! When they gripe about it I simply ask them if they know my name - when they answer "Nurse" - i say - see -and i have 800 of you to keep track of at least i'm a little close - you only have one of me to learn my name.

I say the same thing! And I point out that they passed a sign with my name on it as they walked in :)

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One darling 1st grader comes in almost weekly at recess for very minor (but major to her) complaints. I saw her on Monday. Tuesday she comes in again.

"Hi Suzie", I say.

"I'm Sally."

"Oh, you have a twin sister. Are you identical twins?"

"No", she says, "we're nocturnal".

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