Rude Family Members: Just Venting!

hipab4hands · Oct 15, 2005

I had one of those nights too ! I kept telling my supervisor, it's got to be getting close to a full moon again.I had one woman yelling at me, because the medical clinics in her area no longer offer evening urgent care appointments (Like I can change this).Another person called me every foul name in the book, because, he didn't listen to the telephone prompts, which would have automatically transferred him to the correct dept. Instead, he chose to hold on the phone for 20 minutes, so that I could transfer him to the correct dept. ( and he had the nerve to call me a moron).Another person ran out of his diabetic med the previous evening, and then waited until the medical clinics had already closed to call for in a refill. (It was going to be all my fault, if he went into diabetic coma- per pt.)Just a wonderful evening was had by all. The good thing is I know these types of days are few and far between.

DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN · Oct 15, 2005

I had a patient come to the floor post op colon resection. PACU had told me that he had not asked for anything for pain. Within minutes of being on the floor (I'm sure the stretcher ride didn't help) he was writhing with pain. I quickly gave him 6 mg of Morphine IV. A few minutes later his elderly mother comes to me and asks me how I dare give her son Morphine. She said I know you people only give people Morphine when they are ready to die. I know people who have received Morphine just before they died. I tried to be kind and explain it to her. She just wasn't buying it. I took her back into the room and explained it to her again and also to her son. He told his Mom to sit down and be quiet. I gave him a wink and with that I was out of the door. Gees, leave the work to the professionals. I wanted to ask her where she got her degree but I didn't want to be disrespectful.

DusktilDawn · Oct 15, 2005

I had a patient come to the floor post op colon resection. PACU had told me that he had not asked for anything for pain. Within minutes of being on the floor (I'm sure the stretcher ride didn't help) he was writhing with pain. I quickly gave him 6 mg of Morphine IV. A few minutes later his elderly mother comes to me and asks me how I dare give her son Morphine. She said I know you people only give people Morphine when they are ready to die. I know people who have received Morphine just before they died. I tried to be kind and explain it to her. She just wasn't buying it. I took her back into the room and explained it to her again and also to her son. He told his Mom to sit down and be quiet. I gave him a wink and with that I was out of the door. Gees, leave the work to the professionals. I wanted to ask her where she got her degree but I didn't want to be disrespectful.

You know Dutchgirl, I do think the PACU nurse should have ASKED the patient if he needed pain medication prior to transfer. The whole situation may have been different if she did.

Our facility is planning on implementing a "Visitors Code of Conduct," some people just get way too out of hand.

hollykate · Oct 15, 2005

Sometimes the idea of visiting hours rather than the open visiting that seems to be common in most places, seems like a way to go....though I am sure it would never fly.

Bonnie Nurse · Oct 15, 2005

You know Dutchgirl, I do think the PACU nurse should have ASKED the patient if he needed pain medication prior to transfer. The whole situation may have been different if she did.

I agree. BUT patients in PACU should not have to ASK. What would happen to most patients in PACU if we waited until they asked for pain meds? Not a pretty picture. Round the clock pain control is essential for reduction of complications post op. There may be facts of which i am unaware, but no pain meds post op seems ridiculous.

SmilingBluEyes · Oct 15, 2005

This is one of the hardest parts of our jobs. As you can imagine, family members are rude for many reasons------not that I am justifying it. But the sense of fear, loss of control and being in a foreign (or even perceived as hostile) environment can bring out the worst in even decent folk. Try to put yourself in their shoes and help them through what is really bothering them and you may find them much more cooperative and easy to deal with. That is my experience, anyhow.

UM Review RN, ASN, RN · Oct 15, 2005

Here we are, literally breaking our backs to help their family members and they're screaming at us like we're totally stupid. Yelling and whinning because the room "smells funny"...

Oh geez, I was wondering where that family went after we finally got them outta our hair.

AMARTIN1 · Oct 15, 2005

Ok, so last night was probably *one* of the worst nights I've ever had working. Not because my patients were totally sick (one fresh post-op thoracotomy w/ R upper lobectomy; 2 fresh from the cath lab, one with a new pacer and one cath; 1 VERY confused little lady in restraints; and lastly one little lady who, God love her, didn't ask for a thing all night) but mostly my night was hell because of one patient's family members. It must have been something in the air last night, because I wasn't the only nurse dealing with irrate family members.
Now, here is the thing. I understand that the patients on our floor are for the most part pretty sick. I understand that their familes are concerned/stressed/worried..whatever the case may be. But what really burns me is when you are really, sincerely trying to help their family member and being as comforting and empathetic as you can be, not only to the patient but to their family too, and they just treat you like some piece of crap. I'm a pretty easy going person and I'm easy to get along with. I have that attitude of wanting everyone to like me, including those I don't know, and I really try to be polite and kind to everyone I meet, at work or otherwise. I just don't get people sometimes! Here we are, literally breaking our backs to help their family members and they're screaming at us like we're totally stupid. Yelling and whinning because the room "smells funny"...Well ok ma'am, let me get right on that, I'll just ignore my pt down the hallway who just ripped their IV, Foley, and chest tube out..It's ok! :angryfire
Whew...ok, I'm done now! Thanks for listening! :chuckle

This sounds like my day yesterday and today!! I thought i was going to rip out my hair, cry and leave the floor (forever). I guess we have to deal with things like this but some of these family members really should be put in their place!!!!:angryfire

BabyRN2Be · Oct 15, 2005

Sometimes the idea of visiting hours rather than the open visiting that seems to be common in most places, seems like a way to go....though I am sure it would never fly.

I don't know if it would work, going back to visiting hours that is. I see it at every hospital I'm at. At 9:00PM a general announcement is made saying that visiting hours are over... there are so many people who I know heard the announcement, but think, "that's for other people, not me." And then proceed to stay all night.

Sometimes I wonder why they even bother to make the announcement. :rolleyes:

Audreyfay · Oct 15, 2005

99.9% of the time, I never had problems with the patient. My problem was always with the overprotective family; the family member who was trying to soothe their guilty conscience because they didn't do what they thought they should have the previous parts of their lives with the patient. I almost left nursing a couple of times because of it. But, after soul-searching, I figured I just needed a change in scenery. The first time I was starting to search for jobs outside of nursing, I ended up moving to the Operating Rooms. It was one of the best decisions I could have made. The second time I was ready to quit was when I was working in Medical. I ended up moving into nursing education. Keep the faith. You are needed more than you know!

DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN · Oct 15, 2005

You know Dutchgirl, I do think the PACU nurse should have ASKED the patient if he needed pain medication prior to transfer. The whole situation may have been different if she did.

I totally agree and don't understand why she did not. A colon resection is not a minor surgery, most of them come back with epidural anesthesia. This wasn't my patient. I was in charge and ran to get the pain med because his nurse was tied up with another patient. Since I gave the morphine I was the one to catch h*** from his mother. Just another day at work !