Rude coworkers

brandy1017, ASN, RN · Jan 12, 2015

It is common for the blame game and witch hunt to begin when patients go bad so they can find someone to throw under the bus! I may sound cynical but that's just been what I've observed over the years. I feel that we are put into impossible positions as a nurse in a no win situation and we can only do the best we can, but it's not always enough. I just don't understand why so many people are going into nursing, if they knew what they were getting into they would think twice and run, not walk in the other direction!

I think a lot of the rudeness in nursing is because of the stress and how overwhelming it can be, add in endless alarms blaring, multiple interruptions from multiple people, the stupid computer questioning every move you make just to give a med how many screens you have to go to and why was it a minute late etc. Frankly I'm surprised it's not worse. I'm amazed at people who can remain pleasant and happy under these conditions!

amzyRN · Jan 12, 2015

A friend of mine suggested a book called something like what others think of you is none of your business. Not sure I entirely agree but I would like to get to the point of being able to not give a **** what others think of me. As long as I'm doing my job and providing a high standard of nursing care and doing what your supposed to do when a patient presents s/s of distress, I don't want to care what another rude nurse thinks. I've had nurses annoyed over little things like work left over when I was overwhelmingly busy (I work day shift too, and more is going on at that time) cop attitudes. It gets on my nerves, but I don't let it get to me so badly that it makes me question my competence. And everyone will miss something and make mistakes no matter how good they are. It happens to doctors too. To err is human. And that's why it's called nursing practice (it's never perfect).

I had a patient go to the ICU too and he had been steadily declining but the docs decided to keep him on the floor until my shift came and the patient was becoming hypothermic and was obtunded and he had respiratory acidosis. The nurse I transferred him to implied that this was my fault. She was ****** off because she had to put a lot of effort to restabilize the patient, but that was not my problem. I did what I could to get the patient to the appropriate unit. In retrospect, when I got shift report from the off going nurse, I probably could have called the day MD covering the patient and told them to come assess the patient right away. That's the only thing I can think of that I would do different next time. The patient should have gone to the ICU the last shift but the night MD kept the patient. So maybe I could have pressured the day MD, I dunno.

Anyway, try not to let it get you down.

Soliloquy, MSN, APRN, NP · Jan 12, 2015

From what I've experienced, people in the healthcare field are some of the most "blame game playing" people ever! They will look for every reason possible to find one person to throw under the bus. I wish I could say it's the stress of the situation, but I honestly believe that these people create their own stress and handle stress by being passive-aggressive.

I honestly don't think nursing has to be as stressful as it is. I think what makes this job hard is the way people act and react to stress. Patients are patients. They're the same as those in the healthcare field, sure. But they're sick, unaware, brainwashed by media, etc. The other professionals? Single biggest factor to nursing stress, imo.

Alnitak7 · Jan 13, 2015

There are rude people in all workplaces so changing your field of work won't help.

Some supervisors are highly protective and get rid of their rude employees and some others are oblivious and even lie to defend them. In nursing I think there are so many places you can work that you don't have to stay in a place where you feel insulted.

JenERally · Jan 13, 2015

A perfect example of how all of this is alive and well (unfortunately) would be getting publicly scolded by a coworker for not inputting unit's monthly hand washing PI data due to a patient who decided to go all septic on my ass and tried super hard to die; in addition to ongoing issues with inadequate staffing levels. Rather than put on her big girl panties and act like a professional, above-mentioned coworker (demoted recently from charge because of inability to maintain professionalism and unit's flow) instead chose that a loud confrontation at the nurse's station was most appropriate.

I don't understand how nursing will ever gain the respect it wants as a profession from colleagues and patients when its own cannot respect one another. It's embarrassing really.

Okay, rant over!

Beautiful_Soul · Jan 13, 2015

I'm not a nurse yet, but when I do become one I said I want to work at a small doctors office, or something similar. I work at a nursing home now and all the LPN'S AND RN'S for the most part are stressed and crabby. All I hear them doing is complaining,complaining,complaining. Not ALL of them, but MOST of them. That's why I decided I'm not going to work at a nursing home, or a hospital long term as a nurse it just seems too stressful and I want to ENJOY my job. Maybe you should look into working somewhere else, or maybe even for an agency doing home care. I hope things get better for you at work, trust me I know the feeling of having to work with miserable catty co-workers.

Soliloquy, MSN, APRN, NP · Jan 13, 2015

Right? How often do you see doctors yelling at each other and belittling one another? I, honestly, have never seen it. Ever! They actually treat each other with respect and dignity. Nurses? Nope. Not always. We take pride in the way we talk down to each other and we call it, "Accountability". That's the bs line we use.

A perfect example of how all of this is alive and well (unfortunately) would be getting publicly scolded by a coworker for not inputting unit's monthly hand washing PI data due to a patient who decided to go all septic on my ass and tried super hard to die; in addition to ongoing issues with inadequate staffing levels. Rather than put on her big girl panties and act like a professional, above-mentioned coworker (demoted recently from charge because of inability to maintain professionalism and unit's flow) instead chose that a loud confrontation at the nurse's station was most appropriate.
I don't understand how nursing will ever gain the respect it wants as a profession from colleagues and patients when its own cannot respect one another. It's embarrassing really.
Okay, rant over!

JenERally · Jan 13, 2015

We take pride in the way we talk down to each other and we call it, "Accountability".

This belongs on a tshirt! So true!

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Jan 13, 2015

By ignoring it.
First off, step back a bit and see how you took tone and a facial expression to MEAN SO MUCH, to mean this nurse thought you were an idiot. You supplied the details to this. The nurse's facial expression and tone may mean exactly what you think, or it may not. You'll never know for sure . . . so why use it as highly important INFORMATION with which to judge yourself and her? This is about managing your own thoughts, it can really take the pressure off of you when you realize how much you are 'reading into' what someone says or does. Everyone does it, but not everyone is aware they do it.
As for ignoring it, that's part experience and part me being responsible for my own work as a nurse.
A walkie talkie who tanks five minutes after I give report will naturally give you pause, hell, what did I miss?? THAT, not the nurse's tone of voice or eye rolling is your real issue. Trust yourself! You know the patient appeared fine, and that's it, that is the limit of your ability.
Another nurse who SEEMS to infer you are some kind of idiot needs to be ignored. Who the hell is she to judge your capability? You know your capability, right? Own it. People can have all kinds of ideas about you, but they don't MAKE you or force you.
We can't always have everyone around us liking us, admiring us, respecting us. That is beyond your control. People can think what they will, and sure, it does hurt, but isn't it really self centered of me to EXPECT everyone to always be positive with me? That's like me being the center of the universe, calling all the shots! Ridiculous, when you look closely :)
I did have a complete, alert and oriented walkie talkie DIE in his bathroom some time right before bedside report. The night nurse and I knocked and walked in, and saw the IV pole . . . and his white feet sticking out of the bathroom door way. I hadn't seen him for about 30 minutes, but another staff had brought him apple juice about ten minutes before report, and was as shocked as the rest of us. Unsuccessful code and all that .
Of course I questioned everything. I didn't need anyone to look at me funny. As far as I could honestly, possibly, professionally tell, he was FINE when I said goodnight. Once in a while, this stuff happens.
When another nurse 'communicates' they question your abilities, it doesn't automatically mean your abilities are questionable. Are they? Right there, you own it.

First, I'm sorry about the person who was fine then suddenly died. Don't feel too badly, though - people die suddenly a lot. Stroke, heart, respiratory - it happens. Sometimes unexpectedly, despite perfect nursing care.

Yes, we will thoroughly examine our care. What did we miss or do wrong, if anything. But so often, we all did right and it was just time for the deceased to go to the other side of eternity.

Yes, we question each other's behavior in these cases, too. It's just part of what we do.

As for OP's hurt feelings - none of us should expect to never be questioned. I realize it's unpleasant, but we all are subject to others' thinking and sometimes expressed thoughts.

Learn to evaluate yourself, correct yourself, and just let any rudeness roll off.

You could validate your impression of facial expression or other body language at the time it occurs, too. You might get a truthful reply. Often, it's best to just let it be.

dudette10, MSN, RN · Jan 13, 2015

Right? How often do you see doctors yelling at each other and belittling one another? I, honestly, have never seen it. Ever! They actually treat each other with respect and dignity. Nurses? Nope. Not always. We take pride in the way we talk down to each other and we call it, "Accountability". That's the bs line we use.

Do you work in a teaching hospital? The residents get dressed down A LOT. I've also witnessed a not-too-nice conversation between a consult and an attending. It happens, and it's not just in nursing.

toomuchbaloney · Jan 14, 2015

Hello all,
Recently I swicthed job from working on a medsurg floor for 4 years, to now working in a progressive care unit, in my same hospital. The other day I asked a coworker what happened to a patient I gave her when we switched shifts, and she had an attitude and told me said patient was intubated, and made a few other comments, suggesting it was my fault?! The patient was AOx3, smiling, talking, and on all of the monitors when we gave report at bedside. All of his vitals were WNL, with the excetion of his O2, which was between 88-90, which was what the pulmonologist said to keep him as. Im not upset that someone has an attitude towards me, I am however, pretty ****** that a fellow coworker would question my competence as a nurse. Why are so many nurses quick to be rude, and think that they are smarter, better etc. than the next? I have considered leaving nursing in a few years because between the stress of taking care of sick and dying patients, you also have the families, management, doctors, and even rude coworkers. How so you handle it all for so long?

I haven't read all of the responses.

Why is THIS particular nurse rude and self righteous and yada yada yada? Probably because she has been that way since middle school and she has always gotten away with it, perhaps even rewarded on some level because of it. America is filled with self absorbed, holier than thou, rude bullies and some of them are even nurses.

brandy1017, ASN, RN · Jan 15, 2015

Do you work in a teaching hospital? The residents get dressed down A LOT. I've also witnessed a not-too-nice conversation between a consult and an attending. It happens, and it's not just in nursing.

Yes it does happen especially in medical school with the residents. Suicide is even an issue for doctors as well. If you go on Kevin MD it talks about this under reported problem in medicine. I took care of a Dr that was reduced to tears in his eyes when he talked about some of the nasty behaviors of fellow Dr's to him that happened years ago. On top of that another Dr wanted to ruin him for not giving him bribe money for being consulted to see a patient, but the other Dr didn't succeed.

The point is Dr's face a hostile work environment as well. Now more than ever because many are no longer indept, but work for hospitals or insurance companies and get micromanaged as much as we do. It is sad really! Primary practice runs like an assembly line, just like nursing has become. Granted they can get bonuses if they jump thru all the hoops, but who wants to have to work like that. Most intelligent, highly educated professionals want to have respect, independence and autonomy. That is no longer the case for many of us!