RN made me cry today at work!!

button2cute · Oct 10, 2005

I wasnt leaving her to clean the mess i had already started cleaning this when she was yelling so i didnt leave the patient at all, i went to speak to the administrator after i was done with the patient....but after this happened everyone was like " she is bipolar just ignore it she is like that all the time" but i dont think that justifies yelling like that in from of 2 patients and talking to me like that..BTW i was a tech today when this happened.....

Hello,

Well, welcome to the world of nursing. You are the right to your feelings and no one can dismiss you have feelings. You did the correct thing by notifying the nurse about the mishap and it was not done on purpose at all. You recognize the problem, went for assistance, and cleaned it up. You did not walk out or had a verbal confrontation with the nurse in front of the patients. You conducted yourself with professionalism at all times. Whereas, I probably would had told her off outside the patient's room. You took the appropriate steps to resolve the situation and her nasty behavior. You are a bigger person and you did everything correctly.

Now, I have a problem with the staff to tell you that she is bipolar. That should had been confidential. I know they were trying to under play the situation and telling you that she is a problematic nurse due to her underline mental problem.

You need to get the tough skin as I have to do. Sometimes, I forget to come into work with tough skin and I will let the person know in a nice manner by saying "may I speak to you in private please?" Then I would let the person know in a calm and direct voice. I will not ever be disrespected again by you or be confronted in front of patients or anyone. If you need to address me than pull me a side and say your peace in a correct manner. You were very unprofessional and it was uncall for your actions. I do not appreciate. If we cannot resolve this between us than we need to go to the next level together. The incident did call for a reaction as you display in front of the patients. In addition, you cause more harm than good. Therefore, I am letting you know to treat me with respect and to understand people make mistakes.

Then I would walk away from her.

That is how I would handle it .....

Do not worry you, let it go, and everything will be alright...just do not be that type of a nurse when you become one.

Night....

DEVON3 · Oct 10, 2005

Just try to grow thick skin jacob and don't let asshole nurses like that bring you down! People think they are superior to others and they dont know how to treat people with respect--but they are dealing with their own insecurities...Good luck!

ShayRN · Oct 10, 2005

Hi i am new to this forum and i just want to vent, i am a student going for my RN, and today i worked on the ortho floor and the nurse i was following is bipolar from what i am told and can be really nasty...Well i was changed a patient and her bladder irrigator came unhooked so the water started flowing everywhere and i ran out and got the nurse ASAP, she came in and started flipping out saying things like "whats wrong with you" " where do you work that you could let this happen" and all kinds of nonsense making me look like a idiot and screaming, well i was so upset i was getting ready to walk out and she was like "dont leave" , i have NEVER been talked to like that, i am 30 and my mother never spoke to me like that, she totally belittled me in front of 2 alert patients. So i went to the administrator and apparently this is a problem with this one nurse and she was going to talk to her after my shift...Well this happened around 1:30 today and i am still upset!! Also we had 2 of us techs on the floor with 31 patients, so i was already overwhelmed..........Was she out of line or am i just too sensative?
Thanks

SHE WAS OUT OF LINE!!! I would NEVER tolerate one of my staff members talking to another this way. :nono: She would have a written documented warning on her file in a HEARTBEAT. There are three of us in charge of my unit, the nurse manager, the daytime coordinator and the evening coordinator (me.) Each of us has one thing that really makes her go off and this is one of mine. I will NOT tolerate belittling or harrassment. You don't have to like everyone on the floor but you WILL treat them with the same dignity and compassion that you want to be treated. I don't take it from my husband and I don't take it from the doctors. I am the nicest person you ever want to meet, until I feel that someone is being taken advantage of or is being treated unfairly. Then I am a bulldog. I don't care if someone is an RN, LPN or HCA you need to figure out a way to speak like a professional or you need to move on. Being Bipolar or Stressed is no excuse. I am stressed almost every day, with 8-9 admissions, plus labs and test results, plus evaluations and meetings. What if I used that as an excuse to come down on the RN's? Nope, wouldn't fly would it? They need to do something about her before she runs off all the staff and then what?

Chaya, ASN, RN · Oct 10, 2005

Hi i am new to this forum and i just want to vent, i am a student going for my RN, and today i worked on the ortho floor and the nurse i was following is bipolar from what i am told and can be really nasty...Well i was changed a patient and her bladder irrigator came unhooked so the water started flowing everywhere and i ran out and got the nurse ASAP, she came in and started flipping out saying things like "whats wrong with you" " where do you work that you could let this happen" and all kinds of nonsense making me look like a idiot and screaming, well i was so upset i was getting ready to walk out and she was like "dont leave" , i have NEVER been talked to like that, i am 30 and my mother never spoke to me like that, she totally belittled me in front of 2 alert patients. So i went to the administrator and apparently this is a problem with this one nurse and she was going to talk to her after my shift...Well this happened around 1:30 today and i am still upset!! Also we had 2 of us techs on the floor with 31 patients, so i was already overwhelmed..........Was she out of line or am i just too sensative?
Thanks

Um- a little of both? Try to keep clear on what's your problem and what is her problem. All you need to do is calmly do whatever you need to do to get your patient cleaned up and let her rave at you. Your 2 alert patients will be totally clear on which one of you is the jerk here. Takes a while to grow a thick skin but ideally one day you'll just decide that a jerk like this isn't worth one iota of your energy/ emotion and she just won't get to you anymore.

Hang in-

Chaya

jacob1 · Oct 10, 2005

SHE WAS OUT OF LINE!!! I would NEVER tolerate one of my staff members talking to another this way. She would have a written documented warning on her file in a HEARTBEAT. There are three of us in charge of my unit, the nurse manager, the daytime coordinator and the evening coordinator (me.) Each of us has one thing that really makes her go off and this is one of mine. I will NOT tolerate belittling or harrassment. You don't have to like everyone on the floor but you WILL treat them with the same dignity and compassion that you want to be treated. I don't take it from my husband and I don't take it from the doctors. I am the nicest person you ever want to meet, until I feel that someone is being taken advantage of or is being treated unfairly. Then I am a bulldog. I don't care if someone is an RN, LPN or HCA you need to figure out a way to speak like a professional or you need to move on. Being Bipolar or Stressed is no excuse. I am stressed almost every day, with 8-9 admissions, plus labs and test results, plus evaluations and meetings. What if I used that as an excuse to come down on the RN's? Nope, wouldn't fly would it? They need to do something about her before she runs off all the staff and then what?

I did document the incedent, in even tracking which apparently the "right people" will recieve this....but i still am not convinced that anything will even be said to her with that being done and i dont want to call and followup on it because i dont want to seem like i am out to get her or something....

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 10, 2005

She was out of line. You did right by going to administration. You also need to confront her directly.

http://www.silencekills.com/PDL/SilenceKills.pdf "data suggested that going to a person's manager is indeed a bad move. ALthough managers are more like than an employee in confronting someone, they are still unlikely to do so". The percentage of this study is interesting, only 5% of managers will confront the person when it's reported they have been disrespective and abusive.

The fact that "it's a problem with this one nurse", speaks volumes for management's ineffectiveness in dealing with it. We have to learn to stand up for ourselves.

Good luck.

SmilingBluEyes · Oct 10, 2005

your name suggestd you are a male, and if this is the case yes you are way too sensitive!

this is a kind of sexist remark.

To the OP, no you are not out of line to feel this way. Any nurse who spoke to me that way (oh and they sure have) would have gotten a private one-on-one with me in the breakroom or locker room. No one gets away w/treating you poorly without your consent. Be assertive and let them know in no uncertain terms, you are nobody's doormat. You deserve better. This nurse is a bully. There are ways to handle bullies.

http://www.bullyonline.org

check that out. And be sure to check out a couple of good books on assertiveness. You have the right to be treated better. Like the tagline I quoted at the bottom of my profile:

"dignity is not negotiable". You deserve and should demand better treatment. But make sure in responding, you are assertive, not aggressive. I am sorry this happened to you. Good luck. Keep documention in cases like this and dont' hesistate to report multiple incidents to management/admin as needed. Take care.

truern · Oct 10, 2005

I wasnt leaving her to clean the mess i had already started cleaning this when she was yelling so i didnt leave the patient at all, i went to speak to the administrator after i was done with the patient....but after this happened everyone was like " she is bipolar just ignore it she is like that all the time" but i dont think that justifies yelling like that in from of 2 patients and talking to me like that..BTW i was a tech today when this happened.....

Ok, that wasn't evident in your first post.

Unfortunately, everybody doesn't behave as adults and professionals. There was no excuse for her yelling at you and belittling you, especially in front of patients.

jacob1 · Oct 10, 2005

I think that unfortunatly she using the fact that she is bipolar as an excuse to be nasty and have episodes of "flipping out".......I ws told that this wasnt the first time she has done this and this is a usual thing with her......I have a unit based position so i get floated where ever there is a need and pick up where there are openings, so i will never pick up on that unit with her again......Thanks for everyones advice i really appreciate it....

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Oct 10, 2005

So sorry the nurse made you cry. Hope you are doing much better :)

krisssy · Oct 10, 2005

I had signed up for a second refresher course at a large university hospital in my area. Anyway, there was a nursing assistant who was bullying me, and it made me cry too. I thought it was because of the trauma I had just been through, but maybe not. The first time she yelled at me was when she was bathing a patient who was in a coma. My preceptor told me to introduce myself to all her patients. The door to this room was slightly ajar. The nursing assistant screamed at me for not knocking. I agree that I should have knocked, but the screaming was unprofessional with the intent to intimidate me. The second time involved my preceptor telling me to put a gown on in this same person's room. It wasn't required, but my preceptor felt the patient was "dirty". I thought it was a little strange, but I listened to my preceptor. The same nursing assistant started screaming at me for putting the gown on. I politely told her that I am doing what my preceptor instructed me to do. I ended up leaving the program because of this nursing assistant and because my preceptor did a lot of unprofessional things like leaving meds on the bedside table while the pt. was in the bathroom and walking into a sterile area without a gown while she wore a gown in a non sterile area. The DON had to talk to her about the gown situation. She also was ignoring me and not teaching me or letting me do anything. I made a big mistake by leaving that program and lost $1900.00. I should have had a talk with the nursing assistant and the preceptor about what I expected from them instead of running away like a baby. I agree that we should not be spoken to in a disrespectful way by any of our colleagues, but we have to speak to them on the side and tell them that their behavior will not be tolerated. I know I have to toughen up if I go back to nursing. I like what I read in this thread-very helpful for me. And to the original poster, you just follow the leads and suggestions just given to you, and you will be fine.

Also, having bipolar disorder is not an excuse to be rude and unprofessional. We all have problems. She should be taking her medication and monitoring her behavior. It is not her fault if she has a psychiatric problem, but it is her responsibility to monitor her illness and not take it out on other people. I was also told by my preceptor that that nursing assistant talks to everyone that way. Where is the nurse manager and why is that accepted? IMO screaming and rudeness is unprofessional and should never be accepted by the rest of the staff or the unit manager.

Misty1 · Oct 11, 2005

Hi i am new to this forum and i just want to vent, i am a student going for my RN, and today i worked on the ortho floor and the nurse i was following is bipolar from what i am told and can be really nasty...Well i was changed a patient and her bladder irrigator came unhooked so the water started flowing everywhere and i ran out and got the nurse ASAP, she came in and started flipping out saying things like "whats wrong with you" " where do you work that you could let this happen" and all kinds of nonsense making me look like a idiot and screaming, well i was so upset i was getting ready to walk out and she was like "dont leave" , i have NEVER been talked to like that, i am 30 and my mother never spoke to me like that, she totally belittled me in front of 2 alert patients. So i went to the administrator and apparently this is a problem with this one nurse and she was going to talk to her after my shift...Well this happened around 1:30 today and i am still upset!! Also we had 2 of us techs on the floor with 31 patients, so i was already overwhelmed..........Was she out of line or am i just too sensative?
Thanks

She was definitely out of line. Sorry you had to go through that.