Ridiculous request

Isn't it amazing what people expect of the school nurse? I don't even want to look at my own poo and I sure don't want to look at someone else's. Last year I had a teacher come ask me for a rectal suppository, she was constipated ("Of course, miss, I keep them right behind the bandaids and tape" NOT!) I told her she would have to get that from a pharmacy. And then she wanted to know if she got one, would I put it in for her!! 'Scuse me?

Ugh, that is a new low! I think I would have been hard pressed to even agree to the poop-in-a-bag part. Sorry, that is nowhere in my job description, not to mention completely pointless!

Seriously? So if you're LUCKY enough to find it, do you get to keep it, like as a reward or something? Kinda like Finder's Keepers???

Better be a WHOLE lot more than a quarter before I'd go diggin for it......

If she doesn't observe the quarter passing at home within 3 days, she needs to take the child to the doctor. They will order an x-ray to make sure it's passed. There is NO WAY I would do what she asked. I would just tell her "sorry, we are not able to do that at school".

So I had a parent come into my office today and announce that her son (half day kindergarten) swallowed a quarter. She then, yup- you guessed it, told me that if he had a BM I should search through it and call her in the quarter was passed. I told her I would be happy to save his stool for her I he had one here (i.e. have child poop in a bag -which i thought was a stretch) but that I would not be examining his stools. She looked at me with shock and awe like she totally expected me to say, "Sure, i'll dig through!"

Sounds like we all have our own ridiculous request. Just right now a kinder student went in the clinic just to make "poo poo" - No medical problem. The first time he was sent to clinic I was amazed at how lax a teacher can be in sending students to the clinic. For nursery - grade 5, each level have a teacher aid and could have handled this by themselves. Plus they all have children's toilet inside their classroom. He didn't know how to clean himself so i put on my clean gloves, face mask, and my optimistic hat. I taught him how to do it so that next time he can do it on his own. He can do it on his own alright but that didn't stop the teacher sending him every time he needs to go. I once accompanied the student back to his class and as soon as the teacher saw me she said sorry for sending him - she can't accompany him since her class is a handful. I told her that I have no problems in helping - provided that I don't have an actual patient when it happens and in case I do have a patient they would always be prioritized. At the end of the day I just remind myself that this things doesn't make me less of a person.

Call this child's mother and tell her she has to teach him self care.

I also would track how long the kids are in your office

At the end of the month, totlal the number of instruction minutes that were spent in your office / classroom. Code the classrooms and hand out to the teachers with their code. They will see how much time they are sacrificing by these inappropriate nurse visits, and how out of whack they are compared to their peers.

I cannot take credit for this idea - it is from Gerri Harvey, School Nurse Perspectives: http://snp.homestead.com/

In my district, we are not allowed to see any private area of a child! So, helping wipe is out of the question!

In my district, we are not allowed to see any private area of a child! So, helping wipe is out of the question!

Mine either. I can hand them a wipe and tell them to do their best. If it's so bad that a wipe won't fix it, then I call parents and they can deal with it. I'm not wiping anybody's butt. If they go home with dried poo, so be it.

Seriously? So if you're LUCKY enough to find it, do you get to keep it, like as a reward or something? Kinda like Finder's Keepers???

I thought it could have been a neat magic trick if he pooped out 2 dimes and a nickle -a human change machine!