Responding to annoying co-worker who asks you to work for them every week?

[NurseUnforgetable]

I have a co-worker who struggles with little aches and pains and she's always asking me to work for her every week. It's always something new as for the reason she wants someone coming in for her. I don't want to ruin a good relationship with her. I do remember one time I needed help from her but she was extremely rude about it and I had to wait and wait AND WAIT for another nurse to help me. I remember telling myself I will never help her outside of work ever again. How do politely send the message when she texts me asking if I can work for her? This is a weekly occurrence and I'm tired of it! But what if I need her to work for me? How to play this smart?

[Pjking227]

This person sounds very selfish and self-centered. She is not a friend and is just using you. When she asks you again just tell her sorry, but, no. Leave it at that. I can't believe your boss is allowing you to work for her like that. That puts you into overtime. Where I am you are required to work your minimum hours to keep your benefits. Don't feel guilty and find yourself a real friend

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

It's simply not a decision I can make on short notice! I'll have tp pray on that and get back to you. Works every time.

Hppy

[sharpeimom]

I would refuse very firmly, tell her to give you more notice next time, and when she doesn't (as she won't) I'd just ignore her calls and messages after that.

[jaderook01, BSN, RN]

Nancy Reagan had a campaign with a memorable slogan. The advice from said slogan can be applied to your situation. "Just say no."

[audreysmagic, RN]

I used to have trouble saying no not because I wanted to be liked but because I wanted to be sure the work got done. I like providing that relief if it is needed and that way patients and coworkers get what is needed.

However, getting taken advantage of wore thin pretty fast and it was not difficult to say no.

That was my experience. I'm known as a team player at work because I like to make sure that no one is too overwhelmed if possible - because I've been there doing ALL the work when we're short and it sucks. But it does lead people to quickly take advantage when possible, and you have to learn when to say no. If it's part of your job? You do what you gotta do. If it's optional and you want to say no? Say no.

And - more advice from a gal who's been there and has trouble saying no, so I feel those of you in that boat - be careful about getting stuck with the "part of the job" stuff that should be shared but always gets put on the ones that don't complain. Like floating to another unit or something. That should be rotated fairly, but more often than not, a manager/supervisor will pick someone they know won't come to their office to throw a tantrum about it, whether they've been floated more recently than others or not. When it becomes a pattern, it's time to find a supervisory person you feel you have good rapport with and let them know that you don't mind being that "team player" but you'd appreciate a bit of fairness.

(However, if one of the supervisors is your mother, you may just get an apologetic shrug and smile from her. ...when I was in nursing school, I worked as an assistant at a small office that had a lot of family members working together - it was known but also the uppers made it clear that obvious favoritism because of this wouldn't be tolerated. My mother was one of the lead nurses and I usually had the opposite problem of "favoritism" - she assigned me to the assignments the other assistants always complained about because she knew I would do it... On the other hand, I did learn how to handle the more "difficult" and picky doctors with finesse after awhile, so maybe I should thank her!)

[NotAllWhoWandeRN, ASN, RN]

I'm speaking the entire shift. All the nurses had to take a turn being a CNA for a full shift. I really needed a witness for insulin. She was sitting at the nurses station talking to the other CNAs chit chatting when I asked her for help and she said no, I'm a CNA today. She never got up to help me look for someone who was a nurse. She was very snooty about it as if she was resenting being a CNA that shift. All the nurses were super busy and the house supervisor was on another floor. When it was my turn to be a CNA I helped witnessed narcs and insulin.

Ask her if she's getting CNA or RN pay.

[TriciaJ, RN]

I generally try to agree to things because I like to be a team player. But when I start to feel like the whole team, then NO. Nothing wrong with trading or covering the odd shift for someone. But when it becomes onerous and/or never reciprocated: NO.

[Poptartin]

Don't apologize, just say "No, thank you". I get calls/texts a lot to work extra and if I can't, I just say "no, thank you"... like, hey, thanks for offering but not today. Kill em with kindness.

[Creamsoda, ASN, RN]

Oh man this is so easy. Basically you need to accept you will never try to depend on her if the occasion arises. Because she has proven this is a completely one sided relationship. You just literally respond, "I can't", or "no". No need to explain or justify yourself. Just plain no. This is not a person worth maintaining a relationship with. Sure at work you can be pleasant. But you can also pleasantly say no. her wants and "needs" are not more justified or legitimate than yours. If she has such problems she needs to go on FMLA or part time or find a different job. Your not the only one she's pestering.

[Creamsoda, ASN, RN]

I generally try to agree to things because I like to be a team player. But when I start to feel like the whole team, then NO. Nothing wrong with trading or covering the odd shift for someone. But when it becomes onerous and/or never reciprocated: NO.

Team player is a great thing. But only if theres actually a good team. In this situation there is no "team". So being a team player is completely detrimental.

[nayomi0731]

Let your yes be yes and your no be no. if it is bothersome and doesn't make you happy then don't do it specially if you are just trying to please her to keep your working relationship. The way to make the working relationship work is to keep it professional. If staffing needs it then do it, it is for work and not for a certain person.

[NurseDisneyPrincess]

I can honestly really relate to this post. I'm one of the only few nurses on my floor that is off on weekends. I'm busy on weekends and I'm unavailable to work. My old hospital understood, but I've only been working at my new job for a little over seven months, and all the time co-workers are pressuring me to give them my Saturday or Sunday. I hear all kinds of excuses: "Little Johnny has a game/dentist appointment/activity on Saturday!" "There's a wedding/baby shower/party/reunion and I need to go. Will you switch?" Uh, no. It may come off as rude, but I honestly don't care. I'm not obligated to switch shifts and days off with someone. My schedule is set the way it is for a reason. But yet, every week, I have to beat my coworkers off like flies.

OP, I can truly sympathize with you. I was actually looking up ways to deal with this myself, and that's how I stumbled across your post. Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do. All we both can do is be firm and say no. I don't think we should feel guilty because we don't want to work someone elses' shift or switch days. We aren't doing anything wrong.

I'm more annoyed by the constant requests, but there's not a teacher around I can tattle to to make it all go away, LOL. Oh, I wish. Nothing to do but deal with it.

Sorry you're dealing with this. I understand how annoyed you feel.