relationship vs work? when to say yes/no...

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Specializes in Medicine.

Hey everyone!

I have a million little questions within this post as I am struggling with a few things (minor really in comparison to other people's issues). I apologize in advance if I am sounding ungrateful to those who have yet to land a job but truly I am appreciative. All I want to do is find inner happiness.

In a couple of weeks, I will reach my first year as a nurse and I finally landed a full-time job on a different medicine unit within the same hospital. Then why do I have the urge to travel and see the world beyond my own? I want to see out there, beyond this little green part of town. Did you once feel this way and then find yourself 40 years later still at the same place or unit?

Everyone tells me they once had that dream too...but the boyfriend/husband got in the way? (or other reasons beyond their control). My bf already said he's heading for the door if I decide to travel beyond our province. When does it become okay to pick career over relationship or vice versa?

What keeps you enjoying your job permanently and sticking with it? I like medicine 70% of the time and other times I'm thinking "there has to be more than this..." I enrolled in the ICU program thinking this might be what I need to stay entertained but that's not until January. Until then, I can't shake this feeling of boredom and regret that I passed up a few offers to travel (because of the above bf). He's at a stage to settle, pick a home and so on and so forth. I'm not too young but not yet ready to settle. Just to note, he's in the medical field too and his job is flexible...he's just not that into...traveling?

So what have you done that works for you? To stay happy with work and your personal life.

Thanks AN

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Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.

Can you do agency? That would get you to see other hospitals at least.

I have a feeling this issue is related more to your bf and less about your job? You want to see the world as you said, he wants to stay in one place.

I have moved to different hospitals and worked. I like variation. At this current time though I will stay where I am due to need, kids and finances.

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Specializes in Med/Surg.
Hey everyone!

He's at a stage to settle, pick a home and so on and so forth. I'm not too young but not yet ready to settle. Just to note, he's in the medical field too and his job is flexible...he's just not that into...traveling?

So what have you done that works for you? To stay happy with work and your personal life.

Thanks AN

You want to travel, he's comfortable where he is. Neither of you is wrong, if the relationship isn't enough for you to stay in the area I think you have your answer. Go out and explore, I Assume from the 86 in your name that you're 25 so there's plenty of time to settle down.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

You have to decide what is more important to you. If having that variety is what you want more than anything, then travel. However, if having someone stable is important then stay with your boyfriend.

that is what it boils down to: you have to make a choice, we cannot make it for you.

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Specializes in Cardiac, PCU, Surg/Onc, LTC, Peds.

Have you considered traveling for fun?

I think in your best interest that you have at least 2 years experience with preferably critical care experience. As a traveler you will be expected to know and be proficient in your practice with possibly little support. I'm not suggesting you're not these things in the previous sentence but with experience these things will come. Neither I, nor any other newer nurse I have worked with

ETA: relationships are seldom perfect and neither party will always have the same interests, there has to be compromise. It sounds like you need to have an honest talk with your bf and communicate your desires and expectations, it doesn't seem like you're really happy in your relationship or job but you are the only one who can know what's right for you.

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6 months after I graduated, and finally had the actual piece of paper that was my license, I packed up and moved 1200 miles away on my own at age 22 (barely). I stayed there for 17 years, and the only regret I have (and it's partial) is moving back here.

You will always have what ifs'..... just gotta decide what to do with them. If you don't go you won't know ...if you stay, you won't.

:)

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Specializes in Medical-surgical.

I started travel nursing in November at the age of 29. All of my friends are settling down and having babies but I've always wanted to do travel nursing and I knew if I didn't do it, it would always be a regret. I miss my friends and family but I wouldn't trade my experiences thus far for anything. My current contract ends at the end of October and I will have been out west for a year and I'm going to attempt to take a travel assignment on the East coast so I can be home for the holidays and get some family time in and then go back out west- it's a pretty sweet gig :)

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Hey everyone!

I have a million little questions within this post as I am struggling with a few things (minor really in comparison to other people’s issues). I apologize in advance if I am sounding ungrateful to those who have yet to land a job but truly I am appreciative. All I want to do is find inner happiness.

In a couple of weeks, I will reach my first year as a nurse and I finally landed a full-time job on a different medicine unit within the same hospital. Then why do I have the urge to travel and see the world beyond my own? I want to see out there, beyond this little green part of town. Did you once feel this way and then find yourself 40 years later still at the same place or unit?

Everyone tells me they once had that dream too...but the boyfriend/husband got in the way? (or other reasons beyond their control). My bf already said he’s heading for the door if I decide to travel beyond our province. When does it become okay to pick career over relationship or vice versa?

What keeps you enjoying your job permanently and sticking with it? I like medicine 70% of the time and other times I’m thinking “there has to be more than this...” I enrolled in the ICU program thinking this might be what I need to stay entertained but that’s not until January. Until then, I can’t shake this feeling of boredom and regret that I passed up a few offers to travel (because of the above bf). He’s at a stage to settle, pick a home and so on and so forth. I’m not too young but not yet ready to settle. Just to note, he's in the medical field too and his job is flexible...he's just not that into...traveling?

So what have you done that works for you? To stay happy with work and your personal life.

Thanks AN

Do you mean travel as in for a few weeks or travel as in relocateor travel nursing?I suspect you mean relocate or travel for long periods of times. I have felt that way. you get too old and tied down to do that, fast. Don't get stuck. I think if you do you might resent your bf for that. Let him head for the door.

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It seems that the job is not really the issue, and I don't get the feeling that you want new jobs in distant places.

Have you vacationed far away? Or does your BF just want to stay close to home? Is the issue here really about the BF?

Best wishes!!

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It is rare anyone stays at a job for decades anymore...we have, thank God, more choices and better means to travel/relocate plus, the economy forces some to leave/start over etc. That being said...I'm nearing middle age..whatever that is these days....and I can tell you with absolute 100% certainty the regrets I have to date are not the mistakes I made but the chances I didn't take because I was afraid - didn't want to lose the boyfriend, appear ungrateful to my family or employer because I wanted to see something more than I had seen for years..people will tell you you can't go back..that's true in the sense when you leave somewhere and return you are not the same person - that is not necessarily a bad thing. TIME is the one thing we can NOT, no matter how hard we try, get back in this life. DO NOT let anyone "guilt" you into not living YOUR life. Living YOUR life does not make you self centered, less lovable, less valuable, etc. What it WILL do is make you authentic, self confident, reliable and happy inside. I don't have the luxury of your position now..nor do a lot of us on here.....all I'm saying is, give YOURSELF a chance, the long term job, the husband, whatever, will still happen - but will happen when you are in the place you want to be - not the place you feel you have to be. Good honey.

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Specializes in Med/Surg/Tele/Onc.

"My bf already said he's heading for the door if I decide to travel beyond our province."

Hmmm. This is a red flag to me. A healthy relationship usually involves helping the other person realize their dreams, not stopping them. What would he do if he had some great desire and you said, "If you do that, I'm leaving." Would he say, "See ya?"

If so, follow your dreams.

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Specializes in Home Care.

The only person in this life who will make you happy is yourself.

Follow your heart and do what matters most to you, forget about everyone else. Do it now, before you're married and having babies.

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