I have a million little questions within this post as I am struggling with a few things (minor really in comparison to other people's issues). I apologize in advance if I am sounding ungrateful to those who have yet to land a job but truly I am appreciative. All I want to do is find inner happiness.
In a couple of weeks, I will reach my first year as a nurse and I finally landed a full-time job on a different medicine unit within the same hospital. Then why do I have the urge to travel and see the world beyond my own? I want to see out there, beyond this little green part of town. Did you once feel this way and then find yourself 40 years later still at the same place or unit?
Everyone tells me they once had that dream too...but the boyfriend/husband got in the way? (or other reasons beyond their control). My bf already said he's heading for the door if I decide to travel beyond our province. When does it become okay to pick career over relationship or vice versa?
What keeps you enjoying your job permanently and sticking with it? I like medicine 70% of the time and other times I'm thinking "there has to be more than this..." I enrolled in the ICU program thinking this might be what I need to stay entertained but that's not until January. Until then, I can't shake this feeling of boredom and regret that I passed up a few offers to travel (because of the above bf). He's at a stage to settle, pick a home and so on and so forth. I'm not too young but not yet ready to settle. Just to note, he's in the medical field too and his job is flexible...he's just not that into...traveling?
So what have you done that works for you? To stay happy with work and your personal life.
This is tough. Really, really tough. I have strangely felt and dealt with similar questions and feelings. I just finished my first year of nursing in a new part of the country-- I am still young, very transient, love to explore and am very curious in regards to subcultures and life in different areas. My boyfriend was not the same as me, very settled, not very willing to go on adventures. He was a good, stable fit for me, and we had our issues, but ultimately, it just didn't work for us. I got very lonely after it all when down. Was I being selfish? Is this a part of who I am? I really wish we could have shared in our dreams together, but they just didn't seem to align.
The hunger for adventure to learn and to see and to love is a hard spirit to tame.
Best advice given to me though through all this: "Wherever you are, Beth, BE ALL THERE." Don't miss out on life--career and relational--- where you're at now while awaiting for some other awesome time to arise. I have to remind myself of this frequently. We have an incredible, incredible career where life in its raw moments slaps us in the face DAILY. We give and take and breathe the essence of the human experience, and that, my friend, is an adventure beyond all compare.
I think in your best interest that you have at least 2 years experience with preferably critical care experience. As a traveler you will be expected to know and be proficient in your practice with possibly little support. I'm not suggesting you're not these things in the previous sentence but with experience these things will come. Neither I, nor any other newer nurse I have worked with
I do agree with you that I will need at least 2 years of experience. By the time I'm done the critical care program I will have reached that mark and I'm truly interested in working in different areas/countries even. I know it's something I will have to decide on my own but I just wanted the different perspectives and to see if anyone else felt that way at some point in their lives.
I do care for him deeply but at the same time I can't help feeling trapped in a way if I don't make this choice on my own to go.
Do you mean travel as in for a few weeks or travel as in relocateor travel nursing?I suspect you mean relocate or travel for long periods of times. I have felt that way. you get too old and tied down to do that, fast. Don't get stuck. I think if you do you might resent your bf for that. Let him head for the door.
It just seems harder than I thought. He hates traveling anywhere period...it took me weeks to convince him to a short vacation in Cuba (4 days!). I definitely do not want to resent him and it feels as though I will the longer I tell myself "maybe I should just stay."
I want to travel for longer periods (a few months here and there). Not a permanent traveler but just to have that experience and the opportunity to see other areas while I still can without great responsibilities (kids, family etc).
It seems that the job is not really the issue, and I don't get the feeling that you want new jobs in distant places.
Have you vacationed far away? Or does your BF just want to stay close to home? Is the issue here really about the BF?
Best wishes!!
I actually chuckled a little at your reply. I think the issue is him, I won't deny that much. I do want to travel and seek new experiences elsewhere. I enjoy my job for the most part and love those I work with but I still want more. I constantly search for jobs in distant areas, almost dreaming of just being there. My bf has been a part of my life for a few years now so it is a little harder to let that go but I do feel that he is in the way of my desires.
I just don't want to forward a few years and look back thinking "I should have!"
I know ultimately I have to make a choice for myself but I just wanted to see what everyone else did or felt (if put into similar situations).
all I'm saying is, give YOURSELF a chance, the long term job, the husband, whatever, will still happen - but will happen when you are in the place you want to be - not the place you feel you have to be. Good honey.
I do have to make choices for myself rather than others. He enjoys staying where he is and is not much into going away to places. I really liked the ending of your reply "not the place you feel you have to be." I plan to talk with him tonight and basically tell him this is where I am heading in the near future.
"My bf already said he's heading for the door if I decide to travel beyond our province."
Hmmm. This is a red flag to me. A healthy relationship usually involves helping the other person realize their dreams, not stopping them. What would he do if he had some great desire and you said, "If you do that, I'm leaving." Would he say, "See ya?"
If so, follow your dreams.
I see what you mean. He said to me a little while back while I talked about going to volunteer in a developing country, "why do you need to go there when there's plenty of opportunities to volunteer here?" We're just not seeing each other's points of view here. Everything else in our relationship works but each time I mention going away some place even without him for a little while he panics. Maybe I do need to walk away from him and see for myself what's out there.
I think my DD handled this situation better than your BF. She simply put her BF on front street....."Do you see us married in 5 years?" He was honest enough to say, "No". She thanked him for his honesty and ended the relationship then and there.
Regardless of whether you want to travel or stay put, you have to be true to yourself or have a workable compromise with your partner. I think most married folks here would agree with me when I say that problems only get bigger once married.
Your BF sounds insecure. He fears you travelling because he sees that once you find that you (1) enjoy the travelling you wont return and/or (2) you will meet someone else. Either way, fear can't make for a good foundation.
Something else to think about.... once you 'settle down', then come kids. You won't travel for 20 - 25 years. Do you really want to wait that long?
I would say (and I am a guy) dump the BF (it might help him mature a little and learn to be supportive of others) and follow your desires. Enjoy your life because in the end it is your life!
No one can tell you what to do but you! My husbands military and when he leaves on a year assignment somewhere I'm hitting the road on traveling assignments....We don't have kids! So it makes it easier. But at the same time I'm married and am obligated. haha! You are not and you only live once! You have to ask your self a few questions though: Can you see yourself married to him and settling down? Why is a three month assignment to much for him to handle once in a while? Etc....
I could be you exactly 27 years ago!! I wanted to finish nursing and travel - but stayed in the one town cos my fiancee didn't like me being away. I got restless, there were other problems, I was bored $h*tless, and even when I ended up running away from my fiancee to another Aussie state (long story) and we got back together, I still wasn't happy. I dropped out of nursing and didn't go back to finish my Bachelor till later.
I tell you from experience, you must do what makes YOU happy. I didn't and it caused a whole load of trouble and strife. Can you sit down your bf and tell him you will take a year off to travel, maybe do agency work, and then come back and see him then? A year will absolutely fly by, believe me.
How old are you? If you are young, take the opportunity to travel. I never did - overseas I mean - and I regret it so much. There is plenty of time for hubbys and babies, and once you have a child, I believe you are tied down as everyone has confessed to me (I'm not a Mum BTW).
Sweetie, you are on the verge of a fantastic career once you get a bit more experience, and you can virtually go anywhere! Many agencies down here pay for your flights and accommodation, I don't know about Canada pesonally, but I've worked with Canadian nurses and from what I can surmise, our countries are pretty much the same. Everything is so much harder when you get older, it's harder to bounce back from shifts, and you will probably be more tired and perhaps less able to travel. Many of my friends travelled and back packed through Europe when younger, I didn't and wish I had.
Follow your heart, and if your bf loves you, he will wait. Remember, you only get opportunities to do certain things in life once, so take it while you can!
I do have to make choices for myself rather than others. He enjoys staying where he is and is not much into going away to places. I really liked the ending of your reply "not the place you feel you have to be." I plan to talk with him tonight and basically tell him this is where I am heading in the near future.
bethy11
3 Posts
This is tough. Really, really tough. I have strangely felt and dealt with similar questions and feelings. I just finished my first year of nursing in a new part of the country-- I am still young, very transient, love to explore and am very curious in regards to subcultures and life in different areas. My boyfriend was not the same as me, very settled, not very willing to go on adventures. He was a good, stable fit for me, and we had our issues, but ultimately, it just didn't work for us. I got very lonely after it all when down. Was I being selfish? Is this a part of who I am? I really wish we could have shared in our dreams together, but they just didn't seem to align.
The hunger for adventure to learn and to see and to love is a hard spirit to tame.
Best advice given to me though through all this: "Wherever you are, Beth, BE ALL THERE." Don't miss out on life--career and relational--- where you're at now while awaiting for some other awesome time to arise. I have to remind myself of this frequently. We have an incredible, incredible career where life in its raw moments slaps us in the face DAILY. We give and take and breathe the essence of the human experience, and that, my friend, is an adventure beyond all compare.