Relationship and Nursing School


So.. I have a boyfriend but he has been wierd lately. So it's like now I have stress from school. Because we all know school is stressful and now I have the added stress from his b.s. In this situation would you just decided to go your seperate way or continue to try to hang on to the relationship we have been talking a year. I'm so stressed I have been maintaing my grades. But find it hard to focus with all the xtra stuff going on.


1,007 Posts

Has 6 years experience.

Ask him, point blank, what's wrong. I was dating someone while in nursing school--only to be dumped two days before my last (and hardest) final. I was a wreck and barely passed (we needed a 75 to pass each final exam AND a 75 to pass the class) and I had to deal with pinning and graduation without him by my side to celebrate. If he's a good guy he'll let you know what's bothering him and you can figure it out, otherwise you may be better off shifting your focus and energy on your school for now. It's tough but can be done. Oh, and my ex-boyfriend and I were together over a year. I remarried and my husband is beyond amazing.


69 Posts

That's the thing. He doesn't answer questions like that. Because he was acting so wierd I looked in his phone. He was texting some girl saying he can't live without her and he love her. I had an exam the next day and we have to have 82% and I found it hard to focus. It took me even long to study because my mind was wondering all over the place. He insisted that it was his friend. But in the messages it seamed like much more to me... its one of those things where you can eat cant sleep and want to vomit.


4,103 Posts

Specializes in NICU. Has 8 years experience.
I looked in his phone. He was texting some girl saying he can't live without her and he love her.

Cut him loose. Nursing school requires your complete attention. He obviously has wandering eyes and you do not have the time or energy to play his games to keep him interested in you. You need to develop the philosophy of "If you are not with me, you are against me". If he is not 100% in your corner, cheering you on, trying to make your life easier to relieve any outside stressors from nursing school, then he is an anchor weighing you down. I was in your position many years ago when I attempted my ASN. My past girlfriend had wandering eyes and guilt tripped me into spending time with her instead of my schoolwork. As a result, I failed out of school. Many years later, I went back to school and started over for my BSN with a new girlfriend. What a drastic difference. She was my main cheerleader and did everything she could to help me in school and in my home life. Instead of an anchor weighing me down, she was a tugboat pushing me through school when school got very strenuous.

You need to find someone that will be there for you while in school or wait until after school to start a new relationship.

Specializes in PACU. Has 6 years experience.

Did he give you permission to go through his phone? I trust my boyfriend 100% and would never even think about going through his phone, even if I was suspicious. That shows a serious lack on both ends to communicate within the relationship. What was going on to this point that you felt this was your only option?

I would ask him point black what the heck is going on. If you aren't satisfied with the answer, he buckles, etc, just kick him to the curb and don't look back. I know it's hard.

Before my current boyfriend I was dating a total loser, dropped out of school because he was selfish and didn't like that I thought studying was more important than lavishing attention onto him. He was really against me bettering myself and was emotionally/mentally abusive. I was in that relationship for 3ish years until one day I looked back and saw what he had done to me. I told him I was done, don't ever talk to me again, etc. He tried to reel me back in with a fake suicide threat to himself and I called his bluff. He still to this day claims he is going to marry me and tries to contact me all the time. It only makes me want to work harder at being more successful and well-educated.

I knew then, and still know now, I deserve better than some guy like that. You have to decide if the stress he is giving you, jeopardizing your nursing education, is really worth it. There are plenty fish in the sea, believe me, but you have to wade through the sea monsters sometimes, too.


69 Posts

Thats is so true..thanks for the great advice. Maybe this is not the guy for me. He can't be. Not with all that going on.


69 Posts

I looked in his phone because it was some wierd stuff going on, late night text. Stuff that hasnt been going on before. That is why I looked. Yeah it may have been wrong to look in his phone could be completely wrong. But sometimes you just have to know. He was getting to the point where he was taking his phone in the bathrom and sleeping with it in his pocket just wierd. I'm no fool.

Specializes in ICU.

Relationships need to be built on trust and love. He needs to be supportive of you. Let me tell you, he is cheating on you. Those texts are not for a friend. To me, you rightfully don't trust him, and he does not support you. Just take some time and do stuff for yourself and leave this guy in the dust. I know how incredibly hurtful it is to be cheated on, but one day you will look back and know you made the right decision.


12,646 Posts

Has 25 years experience.

Dump him.

OrganizedChaos, LVN

1 Article; 6,883 Posts

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab. Has 10 years experience.

I had a boyfriend who took him phone everywhere & jumped on me if he thought I was gonna go through it. Turned out he was cheating on me. You need to dump him. Right now your main focus needs to be nursing school & if you're trying to balance the stress of school between the drama of your relationship, it won't end well. He doesn't care about you or he will want what's best for you (to graduate nursing school) & he clearly doesn't care if he's texting other girls. Dump him! Good luck in school!


69 Posts

I don't think people thahave never been thru a nursing program understand the amount of stress that nursing school puts on you. Not only that when you add extra unnecessary stress it makes it hard to focus and I thing you all might be right he need to go. Because we have to have to keep a 82% average. With all the extra drama I find my mind wondering while studying and really haven't retained the information.

My tution was very expensive and it will not be wasted on some loser that don't even appreciate me. And he definitely don't respect me.. so he is not even worth my energy. You all made me feel much better.