Rejected by Patient

Published

I'm kind of bummed because for the first time a patient requested not to have me. I apparently kept the patient up all night by coming in and turning on the lights. I needed to turn on the lights to see what I was doing. But the next time I was supposed to have this patient is when they requested not to have me. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but it really makes me feel like a bad nurse. I also wish people would just tell you if something you were doing was bothering them. Has a patient ever requested not to have you?

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Specializes in Tele, ICU, Staff Development.

Rejection is always hurtful, and you were also blindsided by it. It's hard not to take it personally, but this, too, shall pass.

Consider getting a penlight. If you have to turn on a light, choose the lowest light, for example, turn on the bathroom light and leave the door ajar.

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It isn't worth any more of your time. Don't exaggerate this in your mind; you know that your competence is not, in reality, a matter of this person's opinion. If the experience can help you in any way (as far as something you decide to do differently in the future) then use it to your advantage and move on.

If it isn't the lights it'll be something else, and if it isn't you it will be someone else. These things happen. No harm, no foul.

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51 minutes ago, JKL33 said:

It isn't worth any more of your time. Don't exaggerate this in your mind; you know that your competence is not, in reality, a matter of this person's opinion. If the experience can help you in any way (as far as something you decide to do differently in the future) then use it to your advantage and move on.

If it isn't the lights it'll be something else, and if it isn't you it will be someone else. These things happen. No harm, no foul.

You're right, you can't please everyone. When I first started nursing a few weeks ago, I'd try to quietly sneak into a patient's room so as not to wake them. This resulted in them waking up anyways and being really startled to see me there. So I started announcing myself even if it meant waking them up, but apparently that doesn't work for everyone either.

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I got “fired” by a patient who was a paraplegic once. Why? I wouldn’t help him leave AMA. For the record, neither would his girlfriend who was also in the room.

Dont sweat it. It happens.

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Specializes in school nurse.
6 minutes ago, beekee said:

I got “fired” by a patient who was a paraplegic once. Why? I wouldn’t help him leave AMA. For the record, neither would his girlfriend who was also in the room.

Dont sweat it. It happens.

Was the girlfriend fired as well?

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20 minutes ago, AlmostThere19 said:

So I started announcing myself even if it meant waking them up, but apparently that doesn't work for everyone either.

Try putting on an indirect light then approach the bed and state the patient's name in whatever hopefully non-startling volume and tone you can muster. [I was going to write use a "nighttime" voice to arouse them...but that sounded somewhat wrong ?....so I will trust that we all know what I mean]. If you need more lighting to complete your task, that's okay, but try not to turn on big overheads unless truly necessary, and make sure you are giving the patient a moment to get his/her bearings before you turn on more light.

You can also make sure the patient knows the plan for the evening/night, and then each time you are in the room briefly remind them when you'll see them again - - "I will see you again at 2:00 for [x, y, z] - I will try not to startle you..." Etc. ETA: When you come back, turn on the low lights, say something like, "Mr. Smith?...[give them a second once they start to rouse] - I'm sorry to wake you...I am here with your [x, y, z] like we talked about."

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

When my son was in the hospital for a very long time, I requested not to have a nurse who seemed to have no idea how to use the IV pump and would sit in there for long amounts of time pushing the buttons. It kept me awake at a time that I desperately needed as much rest as I could get. It wasn't personal. It just wasn't a good fit. She needed more training on the pump and I needed more sleep.

Use the bathroom light. You get enough light to see by and the patient doesn't have to wake all the way up. Cluster your care as much as possible. Combine vitals with meds, be efficient and stay in the room only long enough to take care of business.

Everyone gets fired by someone eventually. Its part of the job. You also have the right not to request a patient back, so it goes both ways. I hope you feel better.

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Specializes in CMSRN, hospice.

I always let my patients know in advance, usually at hs meds, that I will be rounding on them periodically, if I'll need to take vitals or do additional assessments at any point, etc. I ask if I can leave a small light on or leave their door cracked in advance. If they say no, at least they have a heads-up that their door will be creaking open every so often and my little face will be peaking into their room. I've been fired once (which I was VERY grateful for in that case), but this scenario isn't why, so it may be a good approach.

Also, for checking foleys and stuff, a small flashlight is really great to have at 2 am.

It does suck to be fired, especially over something that could have been quickly resolved. Just take note of this since it will help you with future patients. Even if you are the most reasonable, kindest, most prudent nurse in the world, you won't make everyone happy, unfortunately. It doesn't mean you're not a good nurse.

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Specializes in NICU.
5 hours ago, AlmostThere19 said:

Has a patient ever requested not to have you?

Many times. If they are a difficult family, I don't want anything to do with them either. Why should I jump through 500 hoops to keep the family happy when I can get a different family that are truly appreciative of the care I give their child?

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I was fired by a patient who didn't want "that African girl" to be her nurse. It didn't bother me at all. Years have gone by and I am one of the best nurses' in my field. Rejection can be hard, but please don't dwell on it. You should rather learn from the situation and move on.

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Specializes in school nurse.

Usually, the kind of patient who "fires" a nurse is the kind you'd rather not have on your assignment...

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