The thread in the nursing student forum about people who are always late got me thinking.
I am chronically early for everything. If I'm not 10 minutes early for an appointment, work, whatever, then I start to get anxiety. So I have a hard time relating to those who are temporally challenged. And I know that there are people who are ALWAYS late. I work with half a dozen providers, and one or two are like me (always there 15 minutes before start time), a couple get there right at start time, and there are 2 or 3 who are ALWAYS 10-20 minutes late for their first appointment of the session (and it drives me farking nuts, because the chronic late ones are my favorite providers and they ask me to go to lunch with them, and if I accept, then *I* will be late for my first appointment of the afternoon session, which is exactly what happened yesterday).
I know that sometimes it's just poor (or lack of) planning. But I've come to suspect that for some people, it's just part of their innate character, and that's what I want to try to understand better, so that I can better work with these people (and not show my intense annoyance). I really do think that sometimes, it's just beyond their control.
So for those of you who are temporally challenged, or love someone who is, help me understand what happens in their brains that make them this way, so I can be a more understanding coworker/supervisor.
No one is asking for perfection; we ARE asking for responsibility and respect for others' time. Anyone going into nursing needs to realize they are entering a subculture of people who are expected to behave professionally and yes, be punctual when going to work. I am very surprised at the resistance and excuses being used not to do just that. It surely is not asking much.
Specializes in FNP- BC, Med-Tele, PCU, Home Health Case Manager.
5-10 mins late here and there is fine...but you should call your charge nurse and let them know you will be late. Late every shift...and not just a few minutes...I mean like 10-15 mins is unacceptable. It is completely unprofessional to be late to any job, especially one where someone is waiting to leave and cannot leave until you are there. It blows my mind that anyone finds it acceptable. When I have just worked over 12.5 hours, I want to give report and leave...not to mention the obligations I have after work (pick up my child, drive 40 mins home, etc). Everyone has things going on in life that can cause them to be late, but proper planning and you can avoid this. Being incredibly early is not necessary, but be on-time. Everyone's time is valuable and I think it is disrespectful to your coworkers and patients when you are chronically late. And where is management on all this? Every other job I've worked outside of the hospital/nursing and you were sent home or written up for being late...why in the hospital setting is it even remotely acceptable?
1. I was super shy when younger so arriving somewhere early meant being alone until a familiar face showed up. I could equate those moments to sheer terror. So, I preferred to arrive a little late to avoid being the first one there.
2. I grew up, got over my shyness (outwardly at least) and figured out I hate mornings. Solution: work nights!
3. But hey, I was still always a little late - 3-5 minutes. This filled me with anxiety and I started my shift in a state of unease. Why couldn't I make it in on time?
Well, I realized I have no sense of time. I was always ready on time and instead of leaving the house, I'd find something that needed doing. The problem was that I underestimated how long that would take. Constantly. For example, I had probably 10-15 minutes to play with and would decide to give the dog a bath. I know, it doesn't make sense to you but it does to me.
In the last couple of years, I've finally figured out that I have ADD. And that is why I am chronically late. (I've been much better since finding this out btw. It helps to know one isn't an idiot).
Sent from my iPhone -- blame all errors on spellcheck
The thread in the nursing student forum about people who are always late got me thinking.
I am chronically early for everything. If I'm not 10 minutes early for an appointment, work, whatever, then I start to get anxiety. So I have a hard time relating to those who are temporally challenged. And I know that there are people who are ALWAYS late. I work with half a dozen providers, and one or two are like me (always there 15 minutes before start time), a couple get there right at start time, and there are 2 or 3 who are ALWAYS 10-20 minutes late for their first appointment of the session (and it drives me farking nuts, because the chronic late ones are my favorite providers and they ask me to go to lunch with them, and if I accept, then *I* will be late for my first appointment of the afternoon session, which is exactly what happened yesterday).
I know that sometimes it's just poor (or lack of) planning. But I've come to suspect that for some people, it's just part of their innate character, and that's what I want to try to understand better, so that I can better work with these people (and not show my intense annoyance). I really do think that sometimes, it's just beyond their control.
So for those of you who are temporally challenged, or love someone who is, help me understand what happens in their brains that make them this way, so I can be a more understanding coworker/supervisor.
Ohhhhh dear. I've never been asked to explain, but I will try.
For me, I have absolutley no conception of time. A minute or an hour, doesn't seem to matter, I just don't know how to tell when it's passed. I *try* to be on time for everything, I tell myself I will leave earlier, I will plan better, I will NOT be late. But, I always am.
I am time blind, and most people I know positively hate it. I am trying to figure out ways of dealing with it, the best I've managed to do thus far is make it by the skin of my teeth or 5ish minutes late.
You see, my brain is always going. A L W A Y S. While I'm getting ready for the day If I'm not thinking about what's for dinner, I'm thinking about what I have to put on today, and oh - that sweater looked good with those pants - where are those pants? They're in the laundry! Damn it, I didn't do the cat box (in the laundry room), I'd better do it before they poop on the floor. *does cat box* Well, now I'd better wash my hands, *washes hands*, Damn that light bulb needs to be changed *gets new bulb, notices clock says I was supposed to leave 5 minutes ago*
All that was probably a span of 10 minutes, which is the time I have left to get ready, only in my brain, at the time it feels like one minute. I have literally no idea how long it's just taken me to do all that stuff. I still think its 60 seconds ago.
That's the best I can do to try to explain. Yes, I have ADHD and Yes I know I can't go on like this forever.
Why am I up at 5 am? Because I'm afraid I'll be late for class, so I didn't go to bed.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
You see, my brain is always going. A L W A Y S. While I'm getting ready for the day If I'm not thinking about what's for dinner, I'm thinking about what I have to put on today, and oh - that sweater looked good with those pants - where are those pants? They're in the laundry! Damn it, I didn't do the cat box (in the laundry room), I'd better do it before they poop on the floor. *does cat box* Well, now I'd better wash my hands, *washes hands*, Damn that light bulb needs to be changed *gets new bulb, notices clock says I was supposed to leave 5 minutes ago*
I call that the "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" phenomenon. I'm that same exact way. It was worse when I was taking Topamax.
See my earlier post. Must be nice to have perfect time sense and make no mistakes.
I said "chronically late" as in all the time. This is not implying that I am perfect. I will say that I have had an employer that would write people up for being only a minute late. Three strikes and you would be looking for a new job. I had to rush to the airport to make a flight after work because I couldn't leave until my relief showed up an hour late. Would they like to pay for my lost airfare? I think not.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I was diagnosed with moderate-severe ADHD when in my 20s. I went through high school and flunking out of college the first time, wondering what in hell was wrong with me. I simply COULD NOT pay attention and could NOT take tests and succeed. I barely graduated high school, due to my constant "wool gathering" and college was a HUGE flop. My self-esteem was in the toilet. I felt I was "stupid", until I was diagnosed. My own parents thought I was a lazy idiot and my teachers had no patience for me. But this was back in the 1980s when ADD/ADHD and dyslexia were poorly-undersood. Back in the times when teachers forced lefties to write with their right hands. Unenlightened and tough times for a girl like me.
But when diagnosed, I went for the behavior modification route, rather than meds and had to re-learn how to think and organize my day and my life. It was not easy, by any means.
Eventually, I went on to succeed in college and beyond. I went through nursing school with certain habits, like sitting in the very front and center of class, to force myself to pay attention. It worked. I have routines like getting everything ready the night before work, so I don't have to rush around in the morning, being late. I have a tendency to lose track of time and date, often. Wearing a watch with the date and time helps, so does my cell phone.
The point is, I developed habits that I could use to keep myself focused and on time during the day. It's hard at work sometimes, when 645 things are going on at once. I do tend to "lose it a bit" and literally have to force myself to stop, breathe and think to get myself back on track.
I have empathy and understanding of ADD/ADHD and I get that some of us are on the spectrum of Aspberger's and autism. The point is, we have to develop habits and rituals that help keep us on track. It can be done. Some of you folks may benefit from life coaching. I did that and it worked wonders for me.
We are in a world (in the USA anyhow) where we live by the clock and the prevailing culture is time-oriented. We just have to adjust. It is the way things are here. The old saying, "time and tide wait for no man" is absolutely true in the world of medicine and nursing.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
PS---- No one outright said it was "ok" to be chronically late, per se, but a lot of us are using reasons why "it just happens" when there are ways to change our thinking and routines to make it on time to work. It's do-able, especially by intelligent and professional people like nurses. No, not just do-able, but necessary. One of my 6th grade teachers, when we were unprepared for class, would say, "NO EXCUSES--- just say you were wrong". At the time I did not realize it, but that was a valuable lesson for me.
canigraduate
2,107 Posts
Never mind.