The thread in the nursing student forum about people who are always late got me thinking.
I am chronically early for everything. If I'm not 10 minutes early for an appointment, work, whatever, then I start to get anxiety. So I have a hard time relating to those who are temporally challenged. And I know that there are people who are ALWAYS late. I work with half a dozen providers, and one or two are like me (always there 15 minutes before start time), a couple get there right at start time, and there are 2 or 3 who are ALWAYS 10-20 minutes late for their first appointment of the session (and it drives me farking nuts, because the chronic late ones are my favorite providers and they ask me to go to lunch with them, and if I accept, then *I* will be late for my first appointment of the afternoon session, which is exactly what happened yesterday).
I know that sometimes it's just poor (or lack of) planning. But I've come to suspect that for some people, it's just part of their innate character, and that's what I want to try to understand better, so that I can better work with these people (and not show my intense annoyance). I really do think that sometimes, it's just beyond their control.
So for those of you who are temporally challenged, or love someone who is, help me understand what happens in their brains that make them this way, so I can be a more understanding coworker/supervisor.
I've developed strategies too. Everything goes on my calendar or there's no guarantee I will remember. And I set alerts to text me reminders with enough time so I don't feel overwhelmed. I also change all the clocks around me to be ahead by 5-7 minutes and that's the little lead way I need to be on time. But, I've also figured out that nursing is good because it's hard to get bored and if I do (when I do), I just switch jobs. I'll never be a 9-5 person. I can do it for a bit but will always find the job that fits me best in order to be a happier person.
I was diagnosed with moderate-severe ADHD when in my 20s. I went through high school and flunking out of college the first time, wondering what in hell was wrong with me. I simply COULD NOT pay attention and could NOT take tests and succeed. I barely graduated high school, due to my constant "wool gathering" and college was a HUGE flop. My self-esteem was in the toilet. I felt I was "stupid", until I was diagnosed. My own parents thought I was a lazy idiot and my teachers had no patience for me. But this was back in the 1980s when ADD/ADHD and dyslexia were poorly-undersood. Back in the times when teachers forced lefties to write with their right hands. Unenlightened and tough times for a girl like me.
But when diagnosed, I went for the behavior modification route, rather than meds and had to re-learn how to think and organize my day and my life. It was not easy, by any means.
Eventually, I went on to succeed in college and beyond. I went through nursing school with certain habits, like sitting in the very front and center of class, to force myself to pay attention. It worked. I have routines like getting everything ready the night before work, so I don't have to rush around in the morning, being late. I have a tendency to lose track of time and date, often. Wearing a watch with the date and time helps, so does my cell phone.
The point is, I developed habits that I could use to keep myself focused and on time during the day. It's hard at work sometimes, when 645 things are going on at once. I do tend to "lose it a bit" and literally have to force myself to stop, breathe and think to get myself back on track.
I have empathy and understanding of ADD/ADHD and I get that some of us are on the spectrum of Aspberger's and autism. The point is, we have to develop habits and rituals that help keep us on track. It can be done. Some of you folks may benefit from life coaching. I did that and it worked wonders for me.
We are in a world (in the USA anyhow) where we live by the clock and the prevailing culture is time-oriented. We just have to adjust. It is the way things are here. The old saying, "time and tide wait for no man" is absolutely true in the world of medicine and nursing.
Sent from my iPhone -- blame all errors on spellcheck
You see, my brain is always going. A L W A Y S. While I'm getting ready for the day If I'm not thinking about what's for dinner, I'm thinking about what I have to put on today, and oh - that sweater looked good with those pants - where are those pants? They're in the laundry! Damn it, I didn't do the cat box (in the laundry room), I'd better do it before they poop on the floor. *does cat box* Well, now I'd better wash my hands, *washes hands*, Damn that light bulb needs to be changed *gets new bulb, notices clock says I was supposed to leave 5 minutes ago*
All that was probably a span of 10 minutes, which is the time I have left to get ready, only in my brain, at the time it feels like one minute. I have literally no idea how long it's just taken me to do all that stuff. I still think its 60 seconds ago.
That sounds a lot like me. It makes it really hard to go to sleep at night too, doesn't it? I would probably never go to sleep, ever, if I had the choice not to. It is just such an inconvenient waste of time.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Oh. Let's not forget the appointment I missed that caused me a $50 missed appointment fee. Yes, you are right. That person does not think like me, because if they did, I would not have had to pay $50 for their lack of consideration. They have the right to be as late as they want to and their employer allows them to get away with, but when it starts costing me money as well as sleep time, or just inconvenience, then they have sullied the workplace for a lot of us.
Perhaps they should have paid the $50 missed appointment fee?
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I am a chronic last minute person and I will tell you it stems from my perception that my time is INCREDIBLY valuable to me. I put 100% effort into everything I do. I know other people's time is valuable to them, too... but really? Waiting in the parking lot for 30 minutes? Standing around staring at the time clock for ten minutes because it's too early to clock in and you're just... what? Enjoying looking at the wallpaper? It's the same wallpaper that's always there. There are better things I could be doing than looking at the wallpaper. An extra five minutes with my boyfriend is better than looking at the wallpaper. Even an extra two minutes loving on my cat, or an extra minute just to relax before work. I guess we have mutual views that people with the opposite view of time have some kind of dysfunction.
I clock in between 1844-1845 every day, usually 1845. Half the time I am sprinting from my car to the time clock to make it on time - and I do mean full on top speed sprint, that results in struggling to catch my breath and me feeling absolutely awful for at least ten minutes. We can clock in as early as 1838, but I have never clocked in any earlier than 1842, and I was impressed when I managed that. I hit every single green light on the way to work that day!
I know exactly how long it takes me to get ready and I budget exactly that amount of time. I also know it usually takes me less than ten minutes to get to work so I budget myself ten minutes to get there. I am also a chronic lead foot and a speeder - I average a speeding ticket a year. I try and modify that behavior, but it's the same principle - why take half an hour to get somewhere when I can take 28 minutes instead? That's an extra two minutes to do whatever I want to do when I get there. Does anyone enjoy wasting time in traffic? I certainly don't. I also know that a lawyer can usually use the improper equipment defense once a year, so I have never gotten points on my license/insurance despite the seven speeding tickets I have gotten so far. I have been let off with a warning three times.
So that's my logic. It has hurt me a few times - I had a teacher in nursing school that had quizzes at the beginning of class, and if you weren't there before the quizzes were passed out, you were not allowed to take them. I had two quizzes that I got zeros on because of this. You bet I went and cried in the bathroom over it both times, and it brought my GPA down from a 3.92 to a 3.89 when I got a B+ instead of an A- in that class because of the zeroes, but honestly? People are still impressed that I graduated magna cum laude from nursing school, you know what I'm saying? I don't think any grad school is going to turn me down because my GPA was a 3.89 instead of a 3.92. I guess I have never been motivated to change my behavior because even if something "hurts" me, it doesn't hurt me bad enough to make a difference.
So anything out of the ordinary on your commute will make you late: a fire that has the street blocked off necessitating a detour, a fender bender in one lane slowing traffic to a crawl, a snowplow ahead of you . . . .
That would drive me crazy! I'd rather be "relaxing" at work than crawling past a fender bender worrying about being late to relieve the previous shift.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I said "chronically late" as in all the time. This is not implying that I am perfect. I will say that I have had an employer that would write people up for being only a minute late. Three strikes and you would be looking for a new job. I had to rush to the airport to make a flight after work because I couldn't leave until my relief showed up an hour late. Would they like to pay for my lost airfare? I think not.
Why would you schedule yourself for a flight immediately after work? There are legitimate reasons to be leaving work late: your patient fell at 6:55, your patient coded, your manager had to see you in her office about the incident report from two weeks ago, your orientee made an enormous error and you needed to discuss it with her. And a lot of reasons to be late for your flight -- traffic, snow, a flat tire . . .
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I have a sister in law who is always late -- for work, for social engagements, for doctor's appointments. She says she hates having to wait for others, so she makes sure they're waiting for her instead. Now THAT is disrespect.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
Some of these stories are giving me a stomach ache and sweaty palms! Deciding to give your dog a bath ten minutes before you have to leave for work? Knowing that it takes 15 minutes to get to work and leaving exactly 15 minutes before you start? OMG, I"m getting stressed out!
That sounds a lot like me. It makes it really hard to go to sleep at night too, doesn't it? I would probably never go to sleep, ever, if I had the choice not to. It is just such an inconvenient waste of time.
Yes! I skip it all together more often than I should. I think it has something to do with 6 classes and trying to run a household without (much) help. I'm usually better when I'm not being pulled at all angles, but I'm certainly a work in progress.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
I remember being in my first semester of nursing school/clinicals, and also taking A&P II and Microbiology concurrently. I averaged 3-4 hours of sleep at night, and started hallucinating small animals scurrying across our living room.
In response to the original post, asking for comments from people with tardiness issues...
I've been struggling with tardiness my entire life. It stresses me out and I really do try to be on time, but sometimes it almost does feel as if it's out of my control. I know it sounds really silly, feeling that it's beyond my control... the only reason I feel [almost] comfortable saying that is because I have and am always working on getting better about being on time. Just a note for the people who think we (late ones) are just being selfish by being late... I DO care about other people's time and how my tardiness effects them. I know it's not fair to other people, and I know how annyoing it is to wait on others. I even have anxiety attacks over my trouble with being late. I don't like being like this, and I am constantly working on it.
Here are some things I think contribute to my tardiness:
I have issues falling asleep early enough and I'm tired during the day so I try to get every minute of sleep I can (I have endocrine issues that contribute to my fatigue, foggy-brain, etc.). I end up waking up 15 mins or less before I have to leave my house, in order to get more sleep...
I'm also terrible with maps, directions, and math... I've read about there being a link between having difficulty with numbers, directions (as in getting to a place), planning, and time; so that could also be a contributor.
I have trouble estimating how long things take (I've even tried journals and apps to track my time for individual activities). I set alarms for everything (ex: in the mornings I'll have an alarm go off every 5 mins, so I know how close I am to the time I need to leave my house... and I'm still slightly late and running to class or clinicals most of the time).
For people like me, for whatever reason, it's a problem that requires a lifestyle change, which can be extremely difficult. I've been actively working on my tardiness for around 10 years now. After I graduated college for the first time (2008) and started working, I would be anywhere from 30mins-2hrs late to work most days (I was lucky that my bosses liked me so much!)... Now, I'm usually late a few mins and no later than 10mins, (unless I'm having GI issues, which happens at least a couple times a month).
My goal is to be, at least, on time every day by my last semester of nursing school (grad in May 2016). I'm shooting for being early by that point, but right now I'm just taking it one step at a time. I know I should be on time now, but, as I described above, it's a bit of a process for me.
I'm not sure if that really answers your questions or satiates your curiosity, but I hope it gave a little insight into the life of one who is chronically tardy, conscious of it, and struggling with it. Personally, I haven't known very many people who struggle with it as I do, but the ones I have met have similar issues to mine, or they are just not very considerate. I'm not trying to say those are the only two reasons, I'm just writing about my own personal experiences. I know that there are probably thousands of reasons why people are chronically late besides the ones I wrote about here.
Thanks for reading, and good luck to you all! :)
Have you been evaluated for ADHD or other disorders? I have a lot of the same issues, maps, charts, graphs, spatial reasoning, etc. and as it turns out I have a processing disorder as well as ADHD. Just food for thought.
As someone with ADHD and LD Sometimes I'm amazed that I get out of the house, myself. If only neurotypical people could spend one day in my head, they would see It's no fun at all, and it's not a joke or something to be taken lightly, either. There is still this stigma that ADHD isn't a real condition, which drives me insane. Yes, it's manageable, but there are varying degrees and no two people are the same. What works for some may not work for others. (Just throwing that out there, I know not everyone or even most have this opinion)
When life isn't so chaotic and I have a sort of normal routine, I can manage to be on time for work and I make 75% of my appointments, but sometimes there is so much work and effort that goes into it. It is what it is, It makes me who I am, but there are days that I wish I didn't have to race the clock.
Imagine what it would be like if you couldn't tell time. You looked at the clock, but didn't know what it said. You have to ask someone what time it is and how long you have left until it's time to leave. That's pretty much what it's like, and it sucks.
edmia, BSN, RN
827 Posts
I've developed strategies too. Everything goes on my calendar or there's no guarantee I will remember. And I set alerts to text me reminders with enough time so I don't feel overwhelmed. I also change all the clocks around me to be ahead by 5-7 minutes and that's the little lead way I need to be on time. But, I've also figured out that nursing is good because it's hard to get bored and if I do (when I do), I just switch jobs. I'll never be a 9-5 person. I can do it for a bit but will always find the job that fits me best in order to be a happier person.
Sent from my iPhone -- blame all errors on spellcheck