This is no intention to slam her or her problem, BUT.
It gets really old for her to be smart allecked with everyone, have a hateful attitude from the second she walks through the door, whine (really) about her job and the people she works with, talk to people like they are stupid, very very critical, condescending, horrible to the new people, and so forth, and then for certain people to always dismiss it as "oh she's got bipolar disorder". As if that diagnosis makes it ok for her to do that constantly.
Meanwhile, i'm thinking if i did those same things in the same manner, i'd be collecting a written warning, if not a pink slip.
And i'm not the only one who's talked (complained) about this. She doesn't do this to pts., therefore it's not considered a "problem" (nevermind people are bargaining over who's going to work with her). We're supposed to be understanding (i.e. tolerate it). And it's not like i can always pick and choose who i want to be in a room with, so asking for another assignment isn't always possible.
While i understand (really understand) she's got a legitimate disorder, i don't think that's an excuse to be rude, or that people have to be subjected to such a negative environment. And it almost seems like that by saying "she's bipolar" that that's supposed to be another way of saying "deal with it, this is how it is."
Touchy subject, considering that whether or not she's bipolar (she tells people she is) is a personal matter, yet it's affecting the people she works with, and there's a fine line between work and personal.. Any thoughts?
This is no intention to slam her or her problem, BUT.
It gets really old for her to be smart allecked with everyone, have a hateful attitude from the second she walks through the door, whine (really) about her job and the people she works with, talk to people like they are stupid, very very critical, condescending, horrible to the new people, and so forth, and then for certain people to always dismiss it as "oh she's got bipolar disorder". As if that diagnosis makes it ok for her to do that constantly.
Meanwhile, i'm thinking if i did those same things in the same manner, i'd be collecting a written warning, if not a pink slip.
And i'm not the only one who's talked (complained) about this. She doesn't do this to pts., therefore it's not considered a "problem" (nevermind people are bargaining over who's going to work with her). We're supposed to be understanding (i.e. tolerate it). And it's not like i can always pick and choose who i want to be in a room with, so asking for another assignment isn't always possible.
While i understand (really understand) she's got a legitimate disorder, i don't think that's an excuse to be rude, or that people have to be subjected to such a negative environment. And it almost seems like that by saying "she's bipolar" that that's supposed to be another way of saying "deal with it, this is how it is."
Touchy subject, considering that whether or not she's bipolar (she tells people she is) is a personal matter, yet it's affecting the people she works with, and there's a fine line between work and personal.. Any thoughts?
The above mentioned behavior reads as a personality issue. Let's face it, if she were ill due to her diagnosis of bipolar disorder then she wouldn't be able to work nor should she work while ill. On that note, has anyone taken her aside and asked if she was ok? She very well may be ill and be in denial. Perhaps the appropriate person should do this, if it has not already been done.
I will base my response based on what I have read in the above post.
Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder, it does not however give anyone with that diagnosis carte blanche access to treat people disrespectfully, does it? No it does not. I have known too many people who use the "I have (insert appropriate mental illness here) therefore I am entitle to special treatment. These individuals are unwilling to take any responsibility for the management of their disorders but fully expect everyone else to.
I believe that when people dismiss and attribute her behavior as "bipolar disorder" it is a disservice to her as a person and to those who are subject to it as well as those individuals who do have the same diagnosis and do not treat others poorly. Why are people willing to accept less from someone with a mental illness? I certainly wouldn't.
Each and everyone of us is responsible for his/her actions and behavior at all times with very few exceptions such as psychosis, acute mental illnesses and when my grandfather was picked up by the police because they thought him to be drunk and disorderly. He had diabetes and he was acting that way because he was sick. I don't know what the correct medical terminology would be. :doh:
The fact that you state that your coworker is comfortable disclosing that she has Bipolar disorder is wonderful if the reason she is doing it is for altruistic reasons, perhaps she genuinely trying to educate those around her about bipolar disorder? Doesn't seem probable from what I read in the above post.
What I get from this post is that this is probably a way for her to use her bipolar diagnosis to elicit sympathy from others and thereby create an enviroment of enablers, since everyone is so willing to excuse/dismiss this type of behavior because "Oh, she's got bipolar disorder." Please!
The possible reasons for her continued unaccpetable behavior is that she doesn't have to accept any responsibility for her behavior when others around her are so willing to excuse it and deny it therefore they become just as much a participant in this situation as the person with the dx is because they are enabling this person to do what she is doing simply by doing nothing and expecting nothing. People will live up to the expectations that you set for them. If you expect nothing you get nothing.
She is responsible for maintaining her mental health, it is part and parcel of having a dx of mental illness. She is responsible for seeking treatment when symptoms become pronounced and interfere with the ability to function in your daily life, be it school, work or relationships. Granted medications are used to treat Bipolar disorder, but a couple of medications does not make it go away and you never have to deal with it again. The person with the dx has work to do as well, such as maintaing a healthy life style, regular sleeping patterns, taking their medications, regualr doctor visits and whatever supports they need to able to live a healthy, full and active life, etc.
Doesn't a true bipolar have peaks and valleys of depression and maniac phases not just being nasty? If she is nasty all the time then she has something other than bipolar...and I'd have to say that to her, like an anti-social disorder.
This sounds just like one of my co workers (thank god she just left our unit last week for another position) The thing that really frosted my cookies was that the DON went and named this trouble nurse (that even takes it out on her patients when no one is looking) as the NURSE OF THE YEAR. That let me know how well our DON really knew her nurses and told her if that is how they expected me to act them I should probably leave.
Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.
she does this because people let her get away with it. she's acting no different than a spoiled child. stop her from doing these things by addressing her behavior on the spot. it takes a little courage and a little bit of practice of what you are going to say, but it gets easier each time. and, each person has to deal with her on an individual basis if the supervisors or managers aren't stepping in to help with the situation. so, the bad news is that you are on your own in dealing with this chick. tell her "don't talk to me like that", or "i don't want to hear you talk about so-and-so like that around me". and, if that doesn't do it, just repeat yourself, "i asked you before not to do that, now stop it." as long as you tolerate her behavior, she will continue to act that way around you.
I was the victim of a bullying supervisor and coworkers. I think that there should be absolutely no tolerance for any form of violence in the workplace.
Tell her "don't talk to me like that", or "I don't want to hear you talk about so-and-so like that around me". And, if that doesn't do it, just repeat yourself, "I asked you before not to do that, now stop it." As long as you tolerate her behavior, she will continue to act that way around you.
And i've done all of this for 2 days, and nothing's different.
I think the best way to treat people like this is to actively ignore her. Talk over her, Do not make eye contact, talk through her. Look through her.
Pretend she does not exist. You do not hear her words, you do not see nor hear her. If you are in a situation where you have to work with her in the same room, try to keep conversation to a minimum. If she barks, don't take the bait. Remove your brain from her craziness. Don't let her rent space in your head. If she antagonizes you, stop, look at her, and say, "I am sorry, I thought you were having one of your 'moments'. When you talk to me I expect you to speak in a normal tone of voice. When you act crazy, I am going to tune you out every time. So if you want to speak to me, speak in a normal tone, or I will not respond to you."
mad9
64 Posts
The above mentioned behavior reads as a personality issue. Let's face it, if she were ill due to her diagnosis of bipolar disorder then she wouldn't be able to work nor should she work while ill. On that note, has anyone taken her aside and asked if she was ok? She very well may be ill and be in denial. Perhaps the appropriate person should do this, if it has not already been done.
I will base my response based on what I have read in the above post.
Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder, it does not however give anyone with that diagnosis carte blanche access to treat people disrespectfully, does it? No it does not. I have known too many people who use the "I have (insert appropriate mental illness here) therefore I am entitle to special treatment. These individuals are unwilling to take any responsibility for the management of their disorders but fully expect everyone else to.
I believe that when people dismiss and attribute her behavior as "bipolar disorder" it is a disservice to her as a person and to those who are subject to it as well as those individuals who do have the same diagnosis and do not treat others poorly. Why are people willing to accept less from someone with a mental illness? I certainly wouldn't.
Each and everyone of us is responsible for his/her actions and behavior at all times with very few exceptions such as psychosis, acute mental illnesses and when my grandfather was picked up by the police because they thought him to be drunk and disorderly. He had diabetes and he was acting that way because he was sick. I don't know what the correct medical terminology would be. :doh:
The fact that you state that your coworker is comfortable disclosing that she has Bipolar disorder is wonderful if the reason she is doing it is for altruistic reasons, perhaps she genuinely trying to educate those around her about bipolar disorder? Doesn't seem probable from what I read in the above post.
What I get from this post is that this is probably a way for her to use her bipolar diagnosis to elicit sympathy from others and thereby create an enviroment of enablers, since everyone is so willing to excuse/dismiss this type of behavior because "Oh, she's got bipolar disorder." Please!
The possible reasons for her continued unaccpetable behavior is that she doesn't have to accept any responsibility for her behavior when others around her are so willing to excuse it and deny it therefore they become just as much a participant in this situation as the person with the dx is because they are enabling this person to do what she is doing simply by doing nothing and expecting nothing. People will live up to the expectations that you set for them. If you expect nothing you get nothing.
She is responsible for maintaining her mental health, it is part and parcel of having a dx of mental illness. She is responsible for seeking treatment when symptoms become pronounced and interfere with the ability to function in your daily life, be it school, work or relationships. Granted medications are used to treat Bipolar disorder, but a couple of medications does not make it go away and you never have to deal with it again. The person with the dx has work to do as well, such as maintaing a healthy life style, regular sleeping patterns, taking their medications, regualr doctor visits and whatever supports they need to able to live a healthy, full and active life, etc.