Really disappointed with the reality of nursing.

[NurseFrustrated]

Anyone else feel the same?

When I was in nursing school, I was so excited to get finished and get a job. I thought I would enjoy doing nursing tasks all day...meds, IVs, injections, dressing changes, catheters, charting. I was so proud to tell people I was becoming a nurse. I would be making all of this good money. My job would be exciting all day long. I would be helping people. I would get respect...

But 5 years later, ha! What a joke! Don't get me wrong. I am grateful to have a degree. I am grateful to have a job in this bad economy, but nursing sure turned out to be a disappointment. I never thought that I would be worked to death the way nurses are. I never thought I would be talked to like a dog the way I am by patients, their families, people from other departments, and some doctors. I never thought bosses would be so quick to stab you in the back and try to get you in trouble. I thought I would be a valued employee and appreciated for what I did because I am a nurse who truly has a heart, cares about my patients, likes to get along well with others, and work as a team.

Instead, as a nurse you are treated like a peon. You have a team of 6-8 patients and are running like a mad woman to take care of all of them properly while your boss sits on her butt looking for any one tiny thing you might miss (while not offering to lift a finger to help you). Families sit in the room watching you like a hawk assuming you are going to hurt their family member. Griping because you have to turn people with skin issues or check for incontinence. Griping because you have to change an IV. The other day I had a family member sitting there watching me like a hawk as I had to change the patient's IV. Mind you the patient was an obese lady with huge arms and had had to have deep lines in the past. She said to me very rudely, "You get ONE stick, then somebody else is gonna do it." Then proceeded to stand and watch me with her arms folded across her chest. Excuse me, since when does the family dictate my job? That really burnt me up. Fortunately I got her IV on the first stick, but I have to take crap like that from people or I would probably be written up by my manager. I never thought nursing would be like this. When I visited people in the hospital before I was a nurse I had respect for the medical staff and would never dream of talking to them the way I am talked to.

You are blamed for everything. Doctor comes in late today? Nurse is yelled at about it by family. Doctor changes a medicine and doesn't tell the family about it? Nurse is grilled about it. Lab wakes you up early for blood draw? Nurse is yelled at about it. Doc orders stat MRI at 5 pm on a Friday? Nurse is yelled at about it by Radiology. Assistant doesn't check patient for incontinence while nurse is trying to start an IV in another room? Nurse is yelled at about it by family. Medicine is late from pharmacy? Nurse is yelled at about it. Dietary doesn't send up a food tray for a patient? Nurse is yelled at about it. We can do nothing right. It has really been disheartening. We go into nursing to help people and instead are treated like crap. I can honestly say that nursing is the job I have felt I have been the least respected in of all the jobs I have ever had. It has just been very disappointing. Maybe I am just venting because I have had a bad week, but just wondering if anyone else has felt this way? I WANT to like nursing because I spent all of this time getting this degree and getting licensed but wow.

[Ayvah, RN]

One thing I have learned in my short time being a employee, is that it doesn't seem to matter what job you have, there will always be some sort of BS you have to put up with. I had nasty coworkers when I was working in fast food during high school; a lazy, backstabbing boss when I worked retail during nursing school; and now as a nurse, I deal with a lot of the things you mention. I don't like it and know I never will, who would? But I don't do it for them, I do it for the patients who know how much I've done for them and they show it. It can be really hard, but that one "thank-you" in a bad week, makes it all worth it.

Yes, of course there will be 'office politics' everywhere, but the difference with hospital nursing is that you are dealing with pain and possibly life and death, and so many FIXABLE (hello management) things block us from being able to always do our job. No one will die if you forget to give a hamburger to a customer or double charge someone for a shirt, but short staffing in a hospital is directly related to deaths, along with people being in more pain, longer than they need to. Many of the issues the OP mentioned can be made better with better staffing.

[KarmaWiseRaven]

This is why i became inactive or some of the reasons why that you have listed. Its sad we get in to nursing thinking one thing then reality hits and we find we're trapped or we feel trapped in a field we didn't want to be in then when we try to break out of the field it's like pulling teeth. I wish you luck on whatever you decide to do. I have kept my license active but i work in a factory even that has it's draws. I guess finding a happy medium that makes us happy is what we seek in career and life. These are my thoughts use them as you wish

[Minnie2006]

I too am feeling disillusioned. Came home yesterday in tears due to the pace of the day. Frustrated because I can never get done on time and it is brought to my attention. I feel I do well with the pt.s but there just isn't enough staff to help when you need. Something needs to change with the system. If you have an ounce of pride in you it is difficult to sacrifice pt. care. I guess we may have to in order to survive. You are not alone in your frustration.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

Thanks everyone for your replies. It's good to hear how other people feel about this. Believe me, I don't want to complain about my job. I want to have a job I like but it seems in nursing, it's next to impossible. Enchantmentdis, I couldn't agree with your post more.

This is a very inspirational poem from an R.N. named Melodie Chenevert.

This poem beautifully portrays what nursing means to me and maybe should be on the application to nursing school!

Being a NURSE means..........

You will NEVER be bored.

You will ALWAYS be frustrated.

You will be surrounded by CHALLENGES,

.........SO MUCH TO DO AND SO LITTLE TIME.

You will carry IMMENSE responsibility and VERY LITTLE authority.

You will step into people's lives and YOU WILL make a DIFFERENCE.

Some will BLESS you, some will CURSE you.

You will see people at their WORST and at their BEST.

You will never cease to be AMAZED at peoples capacity for LOVE, COURAGE and ENDURANCE.

You will see life BEGIN and you will see it END.

You will experience resounding TRIMUPHS and devastating FAILURES.

You will CRY a lot.

You will LAUGH a lot.

You will know what it is to be HUMAN and to be HUMANE.

Nursing is not everyones cup of tea........I do think there is a lot of reality shock when nurses graduate and enter the real world. The shock I blame on shcools for not preparing the grads on what it is really like out there. IMHO I believe nursing instructors should have bedside experience to better portray the realities of nursing. It's a great profession don't give up too easily. We all hate our jobs one time or another but there are good aspects as well as bad in any position. The best thing for me has always been the patients............I have met such amazing people.....living history.

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

People who don't the job don't understand. They think we work in "Grey's Anatomy" when the reality is a lot more like "Barney Miller."

[PoetOfMyHeart]

It really sucks to be the world's punching bag. That, unfortunately, usually comes with the job of being a nurse. I recommend finding a new job, getting a change of scenery, you know? I'm now a hospice nurse, and if your heart is in it, I highly suggest that field of nursing due to the great amount of respect, gratitude, and love you receive from families and patients. I haven't once been grilled, yelled at, or disrespected since starting my job as crisis care nurse with a nation-wide hospice company. I've only had the job since April, though. But I am truly happy in this role. And I pray you find that niche in nursing and in life that fulfills you.

Much love,

~Sara~

[enchantmentdis, BSN, RN]

I knew i had picked the wrong profession my first day of nursing school. The instructors were barracudas who made it seem like being a nurse was rocket science. They were old, unattractive, single,childless, and extremely passive-aggressive. Most of the education focused on care-planning (how many of you even pay attention to the care plans, or even have the time?), science, math, statistics--stuff we rarely use as a nurse. Nursing instructors need to let their students know in the first semester that they will be abused for no reason by doctors, patients, family members, co-workers, ancillary staff, and management, and classes should be aimed at assisting the nurses to deal with the awful realities of this: drug abuse, alcoholism, suicide, depression, and anxiety. There was not a single class on how to deal with difficult patients, family members, co-workers, or management, or how to actually survive in this profession, which is where nursing education really needs to focus. The psychiatric portion of my nursing education was spent teaching us how to convince psyche patients to take their meds. I am not saying science and math are unimportant, just that more attention, or at least some attention, needs to be on interpersonal skills. If nursing education does not address the above issues nursing will always have a high turnover, especially in acute care settings--for example, med-surg/tele (i can't imagine a more horrible place to start out as a nurse). Just look at where travelers are needed the most--med-surg/tele--the absolute worst place to work in a hospital.

[NocturneNrse]

Oh sweetie.. all I can say is.. "I KNOW!".

Hang in there. ♥

[OttawaRPN]

.......and when I have to do anything beyond hanging an IV or giving pills or something of that nature, if the family is there and making things difficult, I send them out of the room. My patient has the right to privacy and I have the right to do my job without interference. I am nice about it, and have had only one family member say something -- she said, "No other nurse makes me leave." I just smiled and said, "Every nurse is different. Now if you'll excuse me for a few minutes, I'll come get you when I am finished here."

Maybe it's because nursing is a second career for me (I am 45) and I've raised a husband and two children, but no one yells at me more than once. I give patients some leeway, because they are sick, and sometimes the family, too, if the situation is particularly stressful. But docs, etc.? No way...

I'm glad somebody mentioned this. OP, you need to read and re-read the above advice and take it to heart.

There is NOTHING wrong with sending family out of the room when you have a task to perform for your patient. And I don't mean a sheepish "can you please leave the room while I start your mom's IV?" I mean a firm, assertive "I'm going to start your mom's IV now, so I will ask you to leave the room and will let you know when I'm done." Don't wait for a reply, shut the curtain and go about your task. Yes, the odd family is going to poke their head around and immediately ignore your request, but the majority of time this no-nonsense approach is enough to encourage them to comply. If the family insists on observing and heckling and says "you have one stick then somebody else is going to do it" then you say "If you keep interrupting me, it's going to take me a lot longer and end up causing your mom much more grief." then go about your job. Then tune them out if it continues. Families are often nightmarish to deal with but remember you are there for the patient.

I've seen far too many new nurses believe they are somehow required to be subservient to patients, families, doctors, other interdisciplinary team members. You are nobody's b!tch. You are a self-regulated, fully accountable health professional. Grow some balls, stand up for yourself, yes you need a thick skin to survive in nursing but it isn't about the crap that others throw at you, it's about how you deal with it. It really is all about the approach. Watch how the seasoned nurses do it. Do they let this stuff get to them day in and day out? No, because if we did, we'd all be committed to the psych ward by now. Don't expect to be the best nurse you can be, just be the best nurse the system allows you to be.

[NocturneNrse]

Yes, of course there will be 'office politics' everywhere, but the difference with hospital nursing is that you are dealing with pain and possibly life and death, and so many FIXABLE (hello management) things block us from being able to always do our job. No one will die if you forget to give a hamburger to a customer or double charge someone for a shirt, but short staffing in a hospital is directly related to deaths, along with people being in more pain, longer than they need to. Many of the issues the OP mentioned can be made better with better staffing.

RIGHT ON SISTER! I cannot understand the resistance to hiring ONE MORE NURSE to make patient care better! Stop giving us "thankyou" foods when the census is CRAZY, stop telling us that we can't make mention of beign SHORT STAFFED, STOP REFUSING TO DO THE ONE THING THAT WILL IMPROVE THE CARE and WORK ENIVIRONMENT FOR EVERYONE! gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[NurseFrustrated]

I'm glad somebody mentioned this. OP, you need to read and re-read the above advice and take it to heart.

There is NOTHING wrong with sending family out of the room when you have a task to perform for your patient. And I don't mean a sheepish "can you please leave the room while I start your mom's IV?" I mean a firm, assertive "I'm going to start your mom's IV now, so I will ask you to leave the room and will let you know when I'm done." Don't wait for a reply, shut the curtain and go about your task. Yes, the odd family is going to poke their head around and immediately ignore your request, but the majority of time this no-nonsense approach is enough to encourage them to comply. If the family insists on observing and heckling and says "you have one stick then somebody else is going to do it" then you say "If you keep interrupting me, it's going to take me a lot longer and end up causing your mom much more grief." then go about your job. Then tune them out if it continues. Families are often nightmarish to deal with but remember you are there for the patient.

I've seen far too many new nurses believe they are somehow required to be subservient to patients, families, doctors, other interdisciplinary team members. You are nobody's b!tch. You are a self-regulated, fully accountable health professional. Grow some balls, stand up for yourself, yes you need a thick skin to survive in nursing but it isn't about the crap that others throw at you, it's about how you deal with it. It really is all about the approach. Watch how the seasoned nurses do it. Do they let this stuff get to them day in and day out? No, because if we did, we'd all be committed to the psych ward by now. Don't expect to be the best nurse you can be, just be the best nurse the system allows you to be.

Thanks for your reply. I would love to just send them all out of the room when I do any procedure but the hospital I work for now I feel doesn't have the nurse's back at all. I could see the family throwing a fit, complaining on me to my manager, and me getting fired over it. That's how much I don't trust the management at my hospital. That's another reason I have been applying at other jobs.

[jjnmrsmom]

Nursing, like anything else in life, is what you make of it. If you truly love nursing then stick with it... find that new job/hospital, set limits for yourself and the people around you. I have only been a nurse a short time but I have learned alot about how to deal with patients, families, and coworkers.

I am very happy where I am now and glad I hung in there. There is a better place out there for you... don't throw in the towel yet.