Real 911 calls.....

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real 911 calls, "believe" it or not!!

dispatcher: 9-1-1 what is your emergency?

caller: i heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

dispatcher: do you have an address?

caller: no, i'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

dispatcher: 9-1-1 what is your emergency?

caller: someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.

dispatcher: excuse me?

caller: i made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when i came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

dispatcher: was anything else taken?

caller: no, but this has happened to me before and i'm sick and tired of it.

dispatcher: 9-1-1 fire or emergency?

caller: fire, i guess.

dispatcher: how can i help you sir?

caller: i was wondering.....does the fire dept. put snow chains on their trucks?

dispatcher:! yes sir, do you have an emergency?

caller: well, i've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the fire dept. could come over and help me?

dispatcher: help you what?

caller: help me get these chains on my car! :confused:

dispatcher: 9-1-1 what is the nature of your emergency?

caller: i'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

dispatcher: this is nine eleven.

caller: i thought you just said it was nine-one-one

dispatcher: yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

caller: honey, i may be old, but i'm not stupid. ;)

dispatcher: 9-1-1 what's the nature of your emergency?

caller: my wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.

dispatcher: is this her first child?

caller: no, you idiot! this is her husband! :lol2:

and the winner is..........

dispatcher: 9-1-1

caller: yeah, i'm having trouble breathing. i'm all out of breath. darn....i think i'm going to pass out.

dispatcher: sir, where are you calling from?

caller: i'm at a pay phone. north and foster. damn......

dispatcher: sir, an ambulance is on the way. are you an asthmatic?

caller: no.

dispatcher: what were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

caller: running from the police. :nono:

My DH is a FF and I still teach Fire/Rescue. One day my son(he was four at the time) woke up and asked if dad was at work? I told him he was. Apparently my DH told my son that he woud do something for him before he left for work and he did not do it. My son has a mild form of autism and is a savant,he forgets nothing. I went to the bathroom and while I was brushing my teeth the doorbell rang. I answered it to to laughing deputies. My son had called 911 and asked for his dad he told the operator my DH name and what station he worked at. I do not know what the operator said to my son but he hung up and called again and asked for someone sensible. He again told them he wanted to talk to his dad and what station he worked at the operator asked him why and he said he left me at home while he went to work(ff here work 24 hour shifts.) The 911 operator notified the sheriff's office that a four year old had been left home alone. When I answered the door two deputies that I hung out with for years were at the door laughing hysterically. They asked my son why he was trying to reach his dad and my son said he promised to get my train down before he went to work. To aggravate my husband the dispatchers played the whole conversation for the whole station to hear. You can hear my son say my dad was bad and should go to jail for lying. DH has never forgotten to do anything he has promised since.

My DH is a FF and I still teach Fire/Rescue. One day my son(he was four at the time) woke up and asked if dad was at work? I told him he was. Apparently my DH told my son that he woud do something for him before he left for work and he did not do it. My son has a mild form of autism and is a savant,he forgets nothing. I went to the bathroom and while I was brushing my teeth the doorbell rang. I answered it to to laughing deputies. My son had called 911 and asked for his dad he told the operator my DH name and what station he worked at. I do not know what the operator said to my son but he hung up and called again and asked for someone sensible. He again told them he wanted to talk to his dad and what station he worked at the operator asked him why and he said he left me at home while he went to work(ff here work 24 hour shifts.) The 911 operator notified the sheriff's office that a four year old had been left home alone. When I answered the door two deputies that I hung out with for years were at the door laughing hysterically. They asked my son why he was trying to reach his dad and my son said he promised to get my train down before he went to work. To aggravate my husband the dispatchers played the whole conversation for the whole station to hear. You can hear my son say my dad was bad and should go to jail for lying. DH has never forgotten to do anything he has promised since.

I'll bet he never does :chuckle

The funniest thing I ever saw was when the NYPD transported a 15 year old female and a 16 year old male and requested one gurny. Seems they caught the young couple engaged. :imbar And he was unable to disengage :roll . They caused a problem for us because they did not want their parents called :angryfire

Grannynurse :balloons:

OH good grief.....the gene pool needs a wee bit of chlorine.

Sounds like we have a bit too much chlorine!!! :chuckle

Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.

When I worked at the county jail, a man came into the lobby of the jail and called 911. He told the dispatcher, I know you want me, I can tell by your voice that you want me:uhoh21: He was a frequent flyer at the jail, needless to say, he was arrested for placing false 911 calls. That night he got a hot meal and a bed. Hmmmmmmm

Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.
When I worked at the county jail, a man came into the lobby of the jail and called 911. He told the dispatcher, I know you want me, I can tell by your voice that you want me:uhoh21: He was a frequent flyer at the jail, needless to say, he was arrested for placing false 911 calls. That night he got a hot meal and a bed. Hmmmmmmm

Either he was too guilty for something or has issues. How sad. :stone

Specializes in NICU.
When I worked at the county jail, a man came into the lobby of the jail and called 911. He told the dispatcher, I know you want me, I can tell by your voice that you want me:uhoh21: He was a frequent flyer at the jail, needless to say, he was arrested for placing false 911 calls. That night he got a hot meal and a bed. Hmmmmmmm

LOL! The funniest story that came out of our jail was: One night I got a call on the SO (sheriff's office) line - it was like 3 in the morning. A gentleman on the other end of the line told me that there was somebody that came to his house (now mind you, it was January, blizzarding and icy - keep this in mind) because he 'said' his car broke down and he was walking, he asked me to send out an officer to check it out. Ok, I dispatched my on-call officer and called the man back at 2 minute intervals for about 10 minutes until he told me, "It's ok, I have a 'friend' with me." Then I started checking on him every 5 minutes instead. Well, my officer got on scene and I did regular status checks with her. All seemed fine, but pretty soon, I heard the Sheriff himself go on duty and get out to the scene. They were out there forever (still frequent status checks of course). We were transitioning from the 'old jail' to the 'new jail' at the time, so I was the only one in the entire building because I was dispatching from the 'new jail', but all inmates were at the old jail. When she finally came back, I asked what on earth was going on. Well, apparently one of our inmates had escaped from the old jail and walked about 5 miles in this horrible, freezing cold winter night. He saw a farm house and went to get warmed up with the story of his car breaking down. Well, the poor idiot just happened to walk right into the house of one of the police officers to our neighboring town. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: The officers 'friend' he told me about was his gun. When my officer got there, the poor dumb inmate was sitting in a chair and the cop was sitting across from him with his gun pointed at him. Can you imagine? Going to all the trouble to escape, getting that far, and then walking right into a cop's house? That definitely took the cake out here. :D

I'll bet he never does :chuckle

The funniest thing I ever saw was when the NYPD transported a 15 year old female and a 16 year old male and requested one gurny. Seems they caught the young couple engaged. :imbar And he was unable to disengage :roll . They caused a problem for us because they did not want their parents called :angryfire

Grannynurse :balloons:

How does that happen? And how do you fix it? By spraying them with a hose . ... ? :D

steph

How does that happen? And how do you fix it? By spraying them with a hose . ... ? :D

steph

We ended up giving the girl IV Valium. And her father a very tall tale :rotfl:

Considered using a hose :chuckle :wink2: They did receive a lecture concerning appropriate behavior (this was back in 1975) :imbar :nono:

Grannynurse :balloons:

I know it's faked from an urban legend but i love Joe, the deer, the tire iron, and the bambulance. Our EMS instructor played this one for us in class one day to break the tension before DOT exams...it certainly worked! Especially funny for all of us nurses who know the worst tragedies happen to people who were "just minding my own g- d- business when..." Uh-huh. :D

http://longmontpolice.com/police_humor.htm

The warning is there...if you're fussy about hearing strong language don't listen...or try to work in emergency care...

Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.
I know it's faked from an urban legend but i love Joe, the deer, the tire iron, and the bambulance. Our EMS instructor played this one for us in class one day to break the tension before DOT exams...it certainly worked! Especially funny for all of us nurses who know the worst tragedies happen to people who were "just minding my own g- d- business when..." Uh-huh. :D

http://longmontpolice.com/police_humor.htm

The warning is there...if you're fussy about hearing strong language don't listen...or try to work in emergency care...

Loved the link, thanks for sharing.

Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.

There was this one guy in Portland that kept calling 9-11 to come out and rid a nearby pond of frogs! Said their songs kept him up all night and called 9-11 several times in several days till he was threatened with being arrested!

It made local news, and well...guess many people harrassed him big time about it...so then 9-11 calls came again from his house due to all the harrassments! UHGGGGGGG!!!!!!! He even got death threats!

Yeah, nice use of the system there huh?!?!?

Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.
There was this one guy in Portland that kept calling 9-11 to come out and rid a nearby pond of frogs! Said their songs kept him up all night and called 9-11 several times in several days till he was threatened with being arrested!

It made local news, and well...guess many people harrassed him big time about it...so then 9-11 calls came again from his house due to all the harrassments! UHGGGGGGG!!!!!!! He even got death threats!

Yeah, nice use of the system there huh?!?!?

Wow, some people :D

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