"Just" a nurse? You can do so much better!

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When I announce my choice of career, I often get looks of disappointment along with the, "But... you're too smart to be a nurse. You should be a doctor," line, or, "Oh, you couldn't get into med school?" This especially tend to happen on the Asian side of my family. Most of these people are victims to the presteige job stereotype and tend to view nurses as single moms and high school dropouts who don't have the brains to go beyond organized domestic work. I have a neighbor and friend who's great but pulls the above line all the time despite my requests for her to stop, mostly in front of others. In response, I wrote a letter that will serve as a template to others should the need arise.

Dear -----,

I would like to discuss a problem concerning your opinion of my career of choice. When discussing my decision to be a nurse, you tend to respond something along the line of, "But... why not be a doctor? You're to smart to be a nurse," in a disappointed manner. I acknowledge your intention to compliment me as being intelligent, and I appreciate your high opinion. In actuality, you are insulting the field of nursing and therefore insulting my choice of career. I once requested that you please cease to question my career, but you have continued to bemoan how I am "not living up to my potential," so I am writing a letter to explicitly voice my grievances and request once and for all for my choices to be respected.

I would expect another person of an underappreciated career choice to have some empathy. Artists are sometimes stereotyped as academic failures and slackers who enter the field because they can't get real jobs, that art is a useless field that is instated for academically inept people, and that any idiot can draw. This is especially projected in the fact that art programs are being cut from school curriculums. How would you feel if I scoffed at your career, or bemoaned you for "not living up to your potential" to get a Ph D in fine art, or that you should have entered a "real career" like law, medicine, or business? It would be hurtful and insulting, especially if you knew the person had no idea about the field and was basing his opinion on nothing but a stereotype.

To put it bluntly, we nurses put up with a lot of ****. Patients, delusional doctors, patients' relatives, and people who stereotype us as doctors' handmaidens and nymphomaniac mistresses all wear on our nerves. I choose to be a nurse because I want to enter the medical field and help people, as well as build a successful career. To stereotype the nursing field as settling for a plan B if one can't get into medical school or not living up to one's potential is hurtful. Sure, some people may enter the field when that happens, but there are a lot of people who find the field rewarding and challenging. Nursing, a career too easy for smart people? Spend a few hours in the ER and then tell me that all the brains and abilities lie in the doctors. One of the things that attracted me to Sam was the fact that he's spent all too much time in the hospitals and fully appreciates nurses. Anyone who's ever been in the hospital will quickly learn that we are the backbone of the healthcare system, as well the patients' direct caretakers. The life of the doctor is glamorized, and you as well as 99% of the population fall for that. I'm not downplaying doctors, nor do I see them as "sour grapes." We're the ones who keep the doctors from messing up, as well as the ones who really have contact with the patients. Nursing is not tantamount with failure or underachieving, it is opportunity and dedication.

I am not angry with you, and I hope that we can continue the friendship. I simply wish for you to respect my wishes and realize that your stereotyping of the nursing field is wrong and insulting.

Sincerely,

------

How does it sound? Is it too bitchy or vindictive? Should I add or delete anything? Thanks!

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Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.

IMHO, it is very well written and expressed. It's a Keeper!

Good luck to you!

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Good luck...in today's day and age, being "just a nurse" requires a lot of education - both formal and informal.

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Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.
Good luck...in today's day and age, being "just a nurse" requires a lot of education - both formal and informal.

I agree. The only thing though is that the public seems to be "out-dated" in their knowledge or perception of nursing.

Wish there was an extended educative commercial or billboard (kinda like a sticky) in every city :rotfl:

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

Good luck.

Very good letter. I'm glad you're standing up to people and being proud of your choice in this honorable profession.

Funny a lot of students complain that when they tell people they are going into nursing they say "oh, that's great, you're going to make so much money........"

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Actually, I'd like a bit of help on explaining why being a doctor isn't all it's cracked up to be. The doctor stereotype is one that is ingrained in peoples' minds that no amount of convincing will change. Any more big points on what we nurses do?

I don't hate doctors, please don't get the wrong idea, it's just that I don't like the fact that a doctor is automatically assumed to be the standard of perfection, and anything short is failure.

Thanks everyone for your support!!!

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Specializes in Med-Surg.
Actually, I'd like a bit of help on explaining why being a doctor isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Thanks everyone for your support!!!

I would just let the issue drop if I were you and try not to let it bother you.

There's no need to tear down another profession to make your choice look better.

There's no need for you to defend your choice to anyone, including your family. Next time someone says sometihing just say "that hurt my feelings". Soon enough they are going to see you're seroius, that you love your profession. In the meantme don't let them rent so much space in your head.

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I would just let the issue drop if I were you and try not to let it bother you.

There's no need to tear down another profession to make your choice look better.

There's no need for you to defend your choice to anyone, including your family. Next time someone says sometihing just say "that hurt my feelings". Soon enough they are going to see you're seroius, that you love your profession. In the meantme don't let them rent so much space in your head.

Good point... I am neither Jesus nor a Mythbuster (Stereotypebuster?)

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Specializes in trauma ICU,TNCC, NRP, PALS, ACLS.

I agree, if people understood how hard it is to become a nurse now a days and how 1000s of people are applying and getting rejected every year they would understand. I have so many people say "now that you are a nurse you will have so much money or you will always have a job" I have not received any negative feedback about why you did not go to medical school. But, most of the people I talk to understand the preparation and time it takes to become a wonderful nurse.

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Great letter!

As with people saying 'just a nurse, you are much smarter', it really really bugs me. I'm entering a program soon and must achieve a 3.5 GPA or greater to get in. You have to be just as smart as a doctor to be an RN, especially if you are doing a BsN or masters degree. Alot of doctors may be book smart, but are sure dense common sense wise.

Best of luck to you and don't allow anyone to steer you in the wrong correction.

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mirai kangofu -

this issue has been bothering you :o and 'renting space in your head', otherwise, you would not have taken the time to write that letter or had posted here.

how many more times will a relative/friend say something :angryfire and you will try to let the issue drop and try not to let it bother you? i know that i would be thinking about it over and over in my head.

if they can be outspoken, then i so can you. :) what has worked for me is ... when someone expresses their disappointment or negative comments, i tell them "that is my choice/decision" (if they don't like it, tough! that's their problem, not mine.) if they continue, i smile and walk away.

:typing

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I was once one of those people who didn't understand nursing and thought that I would be selling myself short to go to nursing school when I was more than likely capable of medical school. I spent time checking out every healthcare field besides nursing, music therapy, physical, occupational, speech, dietician you name it I researched it. And over time I realized that what I wanted to do incorporated all of these things. I wanted to take care of the whole patient, understand their condition and all the interrelating factors. Nursing is where I ended up and as I learned more about the field I realized that I would much rather be a nurse than a doctor. Nurses look at the whole person and are with them each step of the way, we get to know the patient and their needs and understand the treatments. I am in school still, but have worked as a tech and know that nursing is where I am supossed to be. I love to take care of people and do a good job and use my critical thinking skills to do it. It is not a pud job. Some people really don't know what nurses do, they see them in the doctors office and see them simply take a blood pressure or jot down notes and thats what they think nursing is. It is time for people to better understand nursing and I would say that it is our job to caringly help them to understand the nurses role in healthcare. I don't know that much about the history of nursing but what I do know inspires me. As a profession I think there is a growing respect for the profession and there have been steps made to recognize nurses as professionals, but society will take time to catch up and see nursing for what it is.

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