When I announce my choice of career, I often get looks of disappointment along with the, "But... you're too smart to be a nurse. You should be a doctor," line, or, "Oh, you couldn't get into med school?" This especially tend to happen on the Asian side of my family. Most of these people are victims to the presteige job stereotype and tend to view nurses as single moms and high school dropouts who don't have the brains to go beyond organized domestic work. I have a neighbor and friend who's great but pulls the above line all the time despite my requests for her to stop, mostly in front of others. In response, I wrote a letter that will serve as a template to others should the need arise.
Dear -----,
I would like to discuss a problem concerning your opinion of my career of choice. When discussing my decision to be a nurse, you tend to respond something along the line of, "But... why not be a doctor? You're to smart to be a nurse," in a disappointed manner. I acknowledge your intention to compliment me as being intelligent, and I appreciate your high opinion. In actuality, you are insulting the field of nursing and therefore insulting my choice of career. I once requested that you please cease to question my career, but you have continued to bemoan how I am "not living up to my potential," so I am writing a letter to explicitly voice my grievances and request once and for all for my choices to be respected.
I would expect another person of an underappreciated career choice to have some empathy. Artists are sometimes stereotyped as academic failures and slackers who enter the field because they can't get real jobs, that art is a useless field that is instated for academically inept people, and that any idiot can draw. This is especially projected in the fact that art programs are being cut from school curriculums. How would you feel if I scoffed at your career, or bemoaned you for "not living up to your potential" to get a Ph D in fine art, or that you should have entered a "real career" like law, medicine, or business? It would be hurtful and insulting, especially if you knew the person had no idea about the field and was basing his opinion on nothing but a stereotype.
To put it bluntly, we nurses put up with a lot of ****. Patients, delusional doctors, patients' relatives, and people who stereotype us as doctors' handmaidens and nymphomaniac mistresses all wear on our nerves. I choose to be a nurse because I want to enter the medical field and help people, as well as build a successful career. To stereotype the nursing field as settling for a plan B if one can't get into medical school or not living up to one's potential is hurtful. Sure, some people may enter the field when that happens, but there are a lot of people who find the field rewarding and challenging. Nursing, a career too easy for smart people? Spend a few hours in the ER and then tell me that all the brains and abilities lie in the doctors. One of the things that attracted me to Sam was the fact that he's spent all too much time in the hospitals and fully appreciates nurses. Anyone who's ever been in the hospital will quickly learn that we are the backbone of the healthcare system, as well the patients' direct caretakers. The life of the doctor is glamorized, and you as well as 99% of the population fall for that. I'm not downplaying doctors, nor do I see them as "sour grapes." We're the ones who keep the doctors from messing up, as well as the ones who really have contact with the patients. Nursing is not tantamount with failure or underachieving, it is opportunity and dedication.
I am not angry with you, and I hope that we can continue the friendship. I simply wish for you to respect my wishes and realize that your stereotyping of the nursing field is wrong and insulting.
Sincerely,
------
How does it sound? Is it too bitchy or vindictive? Should I add or delete anything? Thanks!
