"I'm too young for a living will"

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  1. Do YOU have a living will?

    • 23
      Yes! I want to reduce stress on my family, and reduce my chances of spending years brain dead on a tube feed..
    • 1
      No, "i'm too young"
    • 37
      Not yet, but realize i need one, even if i am young
    • 0
      Why would *I* need one? I am not terminally ill, and car accidents don't happen.

61 members have participated

(this is copied as it was becoming a derail on the "Slow Code" thread).

Some ppl think a living will = self DNR order. Many ppl seem to think of living wills as something old ppl should do, but young ppl don't need one.

which is a sad misconception, but a common one.

A living will can state ANYTHING!!

You can have a complete algorithm, with all various scenarios,

and state what you want done in each of those kind of situations.

~A sudden, unanticipated cardiac arrest in some recovery room? Oh yeah, code me!

~I am verifiabley brain dead on a vent for 3 days, don't code me, remove the vent, remove the tube feed.

~I want everything done, no matter what, even if brain dead, code me, code me, code me.

I don't know the specifics of the case you were involved in, (a nurse stated living wills are ignored by doctor)

but, possibly, the person's living will stated they would want to be changed to a DNR in the event ______blahblahblah_______.

Or, perhaps, the patient and doc had some conversation, and the pt's verbal instruction to the doc trumped his earlier living will.

no idea. But IF IF IF the doc DID make pt a DNR, and pt's living will stated he wanted "code me, no matter what"

then

the family can have the DNR rescinded and have pt made a full code again, based on the pt's living will. (that might not be the wisest, most compassionate thing to do, but, with a living will, that IS an option)

I am kind of disappointed, how many NURSES on this forum

are stating remarks that seem to indicate they view themselves as too young,

or it's too early in their life,:no:

to get involved with a having a living will for themselves......

AGAIN, ALL TOGETHER NOW---------------A LIVING WILL

IS NOT NOT NOT A DNR ORDER.

NOR IS IT A REQUEST FOR FULL CODES, either.

EVERYONE'S LIVING WILL CAN BE DIFFERENT from anyone else's living will.

Each of us,

might have different criteria for what WE want done.

A LIVING WILL

SIMPLY STATES

WHAT *YOU* WOULD WANT DONE

IN VARIOUS SCENARIOS.

In your living will-----------

YOU CAN REQUEST FULL CODE NO MATTER WHAT.

YOU CAN REQUEST FULL CODE UNLESS_______(whatever you want here)_________. (you do NOT NOT NOT have to wait til you are 80 years old to write this out, kids!!)

YOU CAN REQUEST TERMINATION OF TUBE FEEDS, VENTS, ETC, in the event you are certifiably brain dead, or whatever criteria you want.

You can request tube feeds and vents be left in place for eons, and full codes daily til the full codes fail, even if you are certifiably brain dead.

whatever YOU want done, is what living wills are about.

Verbally telling your next of kin IS helpful, and great idea,

but THAT might not necessarily always be enough. Remember Terry Schiavo.

You ppl who think you are "too young" to get a living will,:no:

might be inadvertently causing future stress to your next of kin by not having one. Car accidents happen.

Also, get living wills on all your loved ones, too.

Like i said earlier, i also enlisted my most assertive pal to be my "medical power of attorney" in the event i can no longer speak for myself. She knows my wishes,

and would go to bat for me. She's also perfect, because she is both a lawyer, and a nurse and my best pal, and very assertive yet would be so compassionate to my family, she knows them all very well, too.

My family would, indeed, waffle, and leave me on the vent, i know they would, bless their hearts. They would.

so i chose my pal. My family has been told of my medical POA, and of my wishes, so they wont' be shocked when Bev pulls the plug on me, ha ha.

By taking even half an hour,

most ppl CAN avoid causing their families extra suffering, and can prevent their own selves from being that tragic brain-dead victim being kept "alive" with vents, tube feeds, etc.

My living will allows 3 days brain dead, just to give my family time to 'get it', cuz, i know how they are.

lol.

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Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.

Im 27. My GF and I both have living wills. I dont see it as ever being too young, I want the hard decisions already made for her.

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Specializes in L&D/Maternity nursing.

I was 27 when my living will as drawn up.

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Specializes in cardiac CVRU/ICU/cardiac rehab/case management.

Am I sensing you are a teeny weeny bit passionate about this topic!!!! :yes:

Well hats off to you .Nice job.

And yes, I have both a living will and a proxy. I picked as my proxy my husband and the most skilled Dr. I have worked with because I implicitly trust his judgement. My husband initially felt a bit bruised that it wasn't just him as my proxy until he realized I want it this way to make it easier on him..

I was in my 30's when I did mine (I was driving all the way across America and I know how I drive! ) anyway, I was really surprised that even though I am perfectly healthy it definitely made me feel more peaceful that I have cared for my family ahead of time. It makes me feel good that I can save them from some pain and a lot of unnecessary guilt.

My previous reservations was if I acknowledged death it was like a part of me felt like I was saying I am ok with dying now.Weird maybe, but it was how I felt. Strangely, by doing it it had the opposite effect and lessened my fears of death. My conscience feels clear that by doing so I am showing my family how much I love them.(and that makes me feel it is so worth that momentary feeling of yeah I will die too someday )

I encourage everyone to do it, it brings a lot of peace.

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lol, yes, i am passionate about this! (don't even get me started on why i think we should all be organ donors...shiver!)

Yes, this was cut and pasted from another thread, written after i'd seen some nurses all saying they were "too young" to have a living will written up. What is above, is like, my 3rd attempt on another thread, to help nurses reconsider saying they were too young to get a living will.

But, EchoRN, you are right, i should have RE-written this, instead of copy/paste....to fit THIS thread, and toned it down a bit....(hangs head).

I have trouble when i hear NURSES say "Oh, i'm too young for a living will." Other ppl, sure, misinformation is to be expected, but, among nurses? Yeah, i think nurses should know what is a living will.

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I've never thought that I'm too young to having a living will. I have thought that it's something I need to do, but maybe because I'm fairly young, I always put it off until later.

I was talking about this (sort of) the other day with a friend because they asked if I had thought about how I want to be buried and how much it would cost, etc. My response was, "It's hard to make plans for how you're going to pay for dying when you can barely pay to stay alive!"

That's been another reason I haven't done it sooner. It's like Maslow's hierarchy...you can't worry about paying for your casket when you can barely pay the electric bill while you're alive. My situation is a lot better now and is uphill from now on (I hope) but that has been the case in the past.

Honestly, if I didn't have kids to think about, I may not have even thought about it at all. When I have considered doing it, it's been because I want things to be situated for their sakes.

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I'm one of those people who has jokingly threatened for years to have "DNR" tattooed across my chest. Well, a few years ago, I happened to find myself in a conversation with an attorney in my state (at that time) and this topic came up. I made my usual quip about the tattoo, and she responded seriously and explained that not only would that not be sufficient to keep me from getting coded, but, in that state, there is state law that says that once you're incapable of making your own decisions, your next of kin cannot take you off life support (without an existing advanced directive or HPOA). So, if I go into the hospital for something reasonable and want to make myself a DNR, I am free to do so; however, if I go into the hospital, fall out of bed and hit my head on the floor, and end up in a vegetative state, my parents (my legal NOK) can make any other healthcare decisions for me, but they cannot make me a DNR or discontinue life support. I would legally have to be kept alive indefinitely. The point of this, in the minds of the wacko state legislators at the time, was to make sure family members weren't precipitously finishing people off to get their money. Holy moley!!

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I'm one of those people who has jokingly threatened for years to have "DNR" tattooed across my chest. Well, a few years ago, I happened to find myself in a conversation with an attorney in my state (at that time) and this topic came up. I made my usual quip about the tattoo, and she responded seriously and explained that not only would that not be sufficient to keep me from getting coded, but, in that state, there is state law that says that once you're incapable of making your own decisions, your next of kin cannot take you off life support (without an existing advanced directive or HPOA). So, if I go into the hospital for something reasonable and want to make myself a DNR, I am free to do so; however, if I go into the hospital, fall out of bed and hit my head on the floor, and end up in a vegetative state, my parents (my legal NOK) can make any other healthcare decisions for me, but they cannot make me a DNR or discontinue life support. I would legally have to be kept alive indefinitely. The point of this, in the minds of the wacko state legislators at the time, was to make sure family members weren't precipitously finishing people off to get their money. Holy moley!!

such great points, Elkpark!!

A medical power of attorney can solve this very problem, though.

Worth pointing out, to anyone reading along, a medical POA does NOT have to be your next of kin.

MY family would sooooo leave me on the vent, tube fed, oh, they would. They would have a lotta trouble pulling the plug. so i chose an assertive pal instead,

told family of it, worked for my situation anyway.

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I've never thought that I'm too young to having a living will. I have thought that it's something I need to do, but maybe because I'm fairly young, I always put it off until later.

I was talking about this (sort of) the other day with a friend because they asked if I had thought about how I want to be buried and how much it would cost, etc. My response was, "It's hard to make plans for how you're going to pay for dying when you can barely pay to stay alive!"

That's been another reason I haven't done it sooner. It's like Maslow's hierarchy...you can't worry about paying for your casket when you can barely pay the electric bill while you're alive. My situation is a lot better now and is uphill from now on (I hope) but that has been the case in the past.

Honestly, if I didn't have kids to think about, I may not have even thought about it at all. When I have considered doing it, it's been because I want things to be situated for their sakes.

THIS is so so so easy to understand. Oh, do i ever hear you on that one, Nthboat!! Your words will be so so easily understood, by the overwhelming majority of busy ppl!!!

Creating a living will,

and getting a legal medical POA,

do not involve much time, nor much cash, either. but, Ntheboat makes some very easy to understand points above, about the hierarchy of needs/survival. Very easy to understand those points!!

Still, even in the busiest of lives, sooner or later, comes a day, where we can review our ongoing "to do" lists. I keep a "this week" to do list,

as well as an ongoing "to do" lists, some of which, i know, might not even get done this year!

for days, i am on top of getting things done.

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Specializes in L&D/Maternity nursing.
I was 27 when my living will as drawn up.

I was also pregnant with my first, so it seemed like a good as time as any! LOL

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You can buy a living will at staples right? And then have it notarized? Or do you have to go through a lawyer/doctor? Forgive my ignorance. Mmm im thinking this may be an extra christmas present for myself and a couple family members. : ). Can burial/funeral services be included as well? Geez, your right! Its scary that as a nurse i have no idea, other than the clinical definition. I may have to google all of this.

I did have a family member pass away unexpected at 50 and every decision was left to me and my brother. It was terrible because we really had no idea what he would have wanted, and we just chose as we saw fit. It wouldve been so nice to know we were following his wishes, instead of us just trying to figure it out!

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You can buy a living will at staples right? And then have it notarized? Or do you have to go through a lawyer/doctor? Forgive my ignorance. Mmm im thinking this may be an extra christmas present for myself and a couple family members. : ). Can burial/funeral services be included as well? Geez, your right! Its scary that as a nurse i have no idea, other than the clinical definition. I may have to google all of this.

I did have a family member pass away unexpected at 50 and every decision was left to me and my brother. It was terrible because we really had no idea what he would have wanted, and we just chose as we saw fit. It wouldve been so nice to know we were following his wishes, instead of us just trying to figure it out!

these are darn good questions, NursieNurse!! I will also google around. My best pal is a lawyer, so she drew up both my living will, and my medical POA papers. She told me the fees for the two papers, and both were super cheap, but, i forgot the costs now, but, was impressed it ws so cheap.

One most definitly can pre-arrange their own funeral. YOu can contact any funeral home you want, pick out everything, pay for it, and make sure your family knows of this.

Me, i don't want to use up 10 square feet of earth for my dead self, over billions of years, we'll run out of earth at some point.

so i am being cremated. Being a cheap person, i was kinda horrified to find out, that cremation costs $3000 or more, and the price is rising, year by year.

so, i found out, i can donate my body to a medical school, or a science org, for like, med students or the like to study up on anatomy, etc. This donation can follow a typical formal funeral, or, one can skip that whole formal funeral thing if they want to. ONe can be an organ donor, first, too, and still donate their body to science.

(i've opted to skip the whole "rent a parlor" funeral thing, and have instead, instructed my fam to just set out a photo of me, have everyone over for a pizza, and play some music, dance around, have a bonfire, whatever. take the thousands and thousands of dollars that we saved by not having funeral, and go on a "celebration of life" trip !!)

By donating my dead body to science, i can be helping some students or scientists or future doctors somewhere, so i hope to be useful, even in death, ha ha!!

Also, i get a free cremation. YAY! This is done after 18 to 24 months. Upon being cremated, one can opt their family be contacted with offer of the ashes,

or, the science org will dispose of those for you.

I told my family, i will have them contacted, but, i could care less what they decide, whatever works for them, however, i don't want to be some urn on a mantle. But, if my family wants to, they can opt to accept the ashes, and go sprinkle them somewhere in nature, like a seaside or a cliff, or a forest, etc.

I also rather liked the idea, of having a tree planted and just dump my ashes in where the tree is planted. but, that's a bit of work, and if they don't feel like it, fine. I won't know one way or another.

Since i move from state to state fairly frequently, i signed up for a national org, not a state medical school. HOwver, almost all "donate your body to science" orgs, will not accept a decomposed body, so i have some "cremate me" funds set aside, in the event, i die and am not found in time to be donated to science.

anyway, i digress, i will google more on you very great question!! on how most ppl do their living wills??? It might be something one can do online and have notorized, not sure, but, could be!!

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