"I don't want to die"

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In clinic today and just finishing up with a patient (in for unrelated issue) when she starts having seizure like activity. No history. We call 911. She is obviously petrified but between episodes she looks at us and says "I don't want to die."

How do you people respond without giving false hope?

Specializes in Cardiac, Home Health, Primary Care.

If it had only been the patient I might have said "you're not going to die" as one of the PP's posted they can't hold it against you and if it makes them feel better so be it.

The pt's family member was in the room, though, so I didn't want anything to come back later and bite me. We reassured and she did seem to calm some with the reassurances.

Thanks for responses so far! It's interesting to see the different thoughts on the matter

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Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

I agree that it's not a good idea to tell a terminally ill patient that they're going to beat their disease.

But in an acute episode of any disease, when the outcome is measured in hours not weeks or months, is telling a patient they're not going to die today/tonight/right now, really such an awful thing?

I'm talking about the 0300 acute exacerbation of CHF or COPD. Seizures when their Na is 115. Vtach.....

Things that have an end time.

I don't tell them they're not going to die. I tell them "Not now, or not tonight".

I don't think hope is a bad thing. After all, who's to say what I've told them is wrong?

Saying "I don't want to die", is different than saying "Am I dying?"

In the first statement the patient wants your reassurance, in the second they want your honesty.

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Specializes in Psych, LTC/SNF, Rehab, Corrections.
When we left today there was no new info in the hospital records. Will see tomorrow. I had given her duoneb before it occurred but this was beyond being "jittery" from albuterol. I have dealt with lung patients since I was a tech on a step down unit. Never seen this as a reaction to it.

I'm looking forward to seeing what is/is not found tomorrow.

And yes we told the pt the usual "we are doing everything we can." I just haven't had many look me in the eye and say they don't want to die. When patients coded on the cardiac floor they were usually unconscious....

I have nothing to add but don't feel alone. That would kind of freak me out a bit, too.

Mine were either 'going down' or were found unconscious.

Never dealt with a pt who was alert and actively begging, 'Please, don't let me die'.

I would probably have the same questions that you have.

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Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine.

One time it happened... somehow there were some mushrooms on my plate.Panic, "sense of doom", SOB, Epipen, 911, car is here, to the ER we go.

Me, still with sense of doom: I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!

Medic, playing with Miller blade: don't worry, you won't. Guaranteed.

Me: ?????????

Medic: huney, I wanna go home in time today. If you die, I'll sit there three hours more for that stupid paperwork... so you won't die here on me. And these guys in ER - they want to go home, too. So, you are not gonna to die on them as well. Do not even try, OK?

I got it and did not die that day.

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Specializes in Cardiac, Home Health, Primary Care.
One time it happened... somehow there were some mushrooms on my plate.Panic, "sense of doom", SOB, Epipen, 911, car is here, to the ER we go.

Me, still with sense of doom: I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!

Medic, playing with Miller blade: don't worry, you won't. Guaranteed.

Me: ?????????

Medic: huney, I wanna go home in time today. If you die, I'll sit there three hours more for that stupid paperwork... so you won't die here on me. And these guys in ER - they want to go home, too. So, you are not gonna to die on them as well. Do not even try, OK?

I got it and did not die that day.

Is it bad I got a chuckle out of this??

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Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine.

No, that was my intention.

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Specializes in Cardiac, Home Health, Primary Care.
No, that was my intention.

Making sure. Seems wrong to laugh at anaphylaxis buuuuut we also got a little laugh out of the craziness that was the afternoon.

Nurses have the most morbid humor ever and I love it.

Anyway...I'm still loving the responses from all. I'm gonna stop feeling the need to respond to them all and just read. Thanks in advance!

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I like that point you made. If I was alone with the pt. I may have also said "your not going to die" bc either way it can't come back to bite you and it gives them comfort.

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Specializes in Mental Health, Gerontology, Palliative.

Sometimes its about modeling behavior. If you as the provider keep calm, its more likely to keep your patient calm. Doesnt mean you wont be freaking out on the inside.

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Specializes in kids.

Me too!

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Specializes in Registered Nurse.
One time it happened... somehow there were some mushrooms on my plate.Panic, "sense of doom", SOB, Epipen, 911, car is here, to the ER we go.

Me, still with sense of doom: I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!

Medic, playing with Miller blade: don't worry, you won't. Guaranteed.

Me: ?????????

Medic: huney, I wanna go home in time today. If you die, I'll sit there three hours more for that stupid paperwork... so you won't die here on me. And these guys in ER - they want to go home, too. So, you are not gonna to die on them as well. Do not even try, OK?

I got it and did not die that day.

I can just see the paramedics face too! Those guys are usually pretty cool in those situations. lol Glad you made it!

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Specializes in hospice.

I would never say, "You're not going to die." That could turn out to be untrue, and even if it couldn't legally bite me in the ass, it's still wrong to purposely tell someone something you can't know for sure is true. I wholeheartedly agree with things like, "We are doing our best to make sure that doesn't happen," because that is true. At least, I sure hope it is! ;)

Working hospice, I get questions sometimes like, "Am I going to die tonight?" I almost always answer, "Not tonight!" Because seriously, if you're alert enough to ask me, you ain't dying yet, unless you throw a clot or have a massive MI on me, and I can't predict that. (If risk for that is high based on diagnosis, I'll change my usual answer to more like, "I don't think so." )

Sadly, one of the questions I hear more often is, "Why is it taking me so long to die?" That one makes me so sad, because they're tired and done and just want peace, but their body isn't cooperating.

I love that EMT, but hopefully he's careful who be does that with, because a person could get really offended by that and his butt could end up in a serious sling.

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