"I don't know how you can do that!"

Published

Does everyone else hear this a lot? People always say to me something along the lines of, "I don't know how you can do what you do, I can't stand to see those sick babies." I almost don't know how to take this. I'm sure they don't mean it this way, but it's almost like an accusation that I'm heartless to be able to go into work and see these babies without breaking down into tears everyday. Just wondering if anyone else feels this way, and if so, what is your response to this comment? I've just been saying something along the lines of, "It can be hard, but it's worth it," and I also remind them that most of the babies do end up going home.

I hear this 80% of the time when I tell someone new where I work. I then get all glossy eyed when I talk about 'my' babies and how much I love them. I tell people that I love the NICU because it is pure nursing, these patients did nothing to be in the position they are in and everything you do for them matters. NICU nursing is the idealistic nursing I envisioned when I decided to go to nursing school. There is nothing like parents giving you big genuine hugs when their kids are discharged with tears in their eyes telling you thanks for everything that you did for them. There is nothing like seeing NICU graduates at NICU reunions, running and playing.

On a more practical note, I turn it around and tell people, "It takes a special person to work with adults." I am not sure I could work with pulmonary patients sneaking off to smoke, call button riders, or adult size emesis and stool. I am not sure I could work on a unit without dedicated respiratory therapists or residents/NNPs who are a phone call or a shout away. I would much rather wash, wipe, and move little baby bodies than supersized adult ones.

I tell people that yes, there are sad times, but there are sad times at every nursing job, we take care of people when they are sick, it's the nature of the job. When people ask if I get desensitized to the sadness I tell them that the day that happens is the day I quit NICU nursing.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in OBGYN, Neonatal.

I love this post. I do get comments like wow that will be a tough job or I could not do that. And this from both non nursing people and my fellow nursing graduates/now RN's also.

I LOVE the answers here and they all apply. I say its a tough job but someone needs to do it and why deprive these babies of someone who could be a great nurse (me hopefully!) b/c of my fear of sadness. Sadness will happen in our lives, but I can make a difference.

That's my two cents! :):) Thanks everyone!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER, NICU.

I get this alot too.

I just grin and say "I LOVE it", hold out my hand in a cup shape and say "The smaller ones I can fit in here".

I think their reaction to our work is one of awe. Everyone has this impression these little ones are SO fragile and that we are so brave for even going there....

go where angels only dare tread...? Babytrek

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Jack of all trades, and still learning.

I am not a NICU nurse. I am coming to an end in a period where I am working in isolated paeds; most of our patients are under 2yrs and I have found it really hard to assist with painful procedures. Thus when I say " I don't know how you can do that ", its with the utmost respect. The thing is, on leaving I find I too am thinking about "my" babies. And I have become more used to assisting with these procedures. Who knows, I may be a paeds nurse in the future, though I don't know if I am able to do NICU; not because of the tubes etc, but because of the skills involved.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU.
I am not a NICU nurse. I am coming to an end in a period where I am working in isolated paeds; most of our patients are under 2yrs and I have found it really hard to assist with painful procedures. Thus when I say " I don't know how you can do that ", its with the utmost respect. The thing is, on leaving I find I too am thinking about "my" babies. And I have become more used to assisting with these procedures. Who knows, I may be a paeds nurse in the future, though I don't know if I am able to do NICU; not because of the tubes etc, but because of the skills involved.

You have worked with special babies, why not try NICU? You can learn the skills!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thank you so much for this thread! :redbeathe

I'm not even officially in nursing school yet, and I know that NICU is my passion and I will get there someday. It dawned on me sometime after my 26+6 weeker was discharged and some of the emotional trauma started to heal. When I tell people this, I already get a lot of comments like, "Why would you want to do that? Wasn't it hard enough to have your daughter in the NICU?" My favorite was when my husband said "Do you think you can handle that without being too emotional?" But it's something I really want to do, something that I feel like I NEED to do.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU, Vascular, Oncology, Telemetry.

This IS a great thread! I'm new to the NICU/SCN, but I love it. It's scary and yes, tough at times. I do not yet have children of my own, so when people ask me how I can do it -- I look them straight in the eye and say "There's nobody else I'd rather get out of bed for! Those babies have done NOTHING to deserve the situation they're in. How could you NOT want to help them? Who else in this world needs as much support and care as this population? And I don't think I could care for adults with as much compassion and enthusiasm as I have for these kids."

Also, you do bond with some parents and that is also very rewarding. I get excited for the babies to be discharged and I share in the parents disappointment when the kid is not quite ready or not progressing as we'd hoped & planned.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Peds, 1yr.; NICU, 15 yrs..

Giraffe beds are wonderful. Our unit is supposed to buy 8 more. We love them.

I agree with all the other NICU nurses. I would never do anything else. I love my job.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU.

When my grandfather was passing, we had a hospice NP come to the house. She and I just kept looking at each other and saying "I could NEVER do what you do!"

And I looove Giraffe beds. The vast majority of our isolettes are Giraffes, and only the ROS/feeder/sugar kids go in the old ones.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in level 3 NICU.

i hear this alot as i have been a nicu nurse for 18 years. i think most people just mean that it must take a special person to do the kind of nursing that we do. now, i have had one very angry dad (dad of a very sick 400gr , 23 weeker) say some pretty ugly things like" gee how do you gals do with all these little sick babies, but you are making all that over time off my poor sick baby (i only worked 4 hours ot that night). people may have diffrent reasons for saying what they do. we see parents @ one of the most trying time in their life. other people really do mean "how do we do it" my own mother says she could never do and that she can't even stand to see premmies on tv. keep up the good work!:balloons:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU.
" gee how do you gals do with all these little sick babies, but you are making all that over time off my poor sick baby (i only worked 4 hours ot that night).

oh my gosh, that is awful!! :(

he's angry at the nurses, but they're not the ones making the decision to torture that poor soul.

that really makes me sick to read that, bless your heart.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion