I have a vent about coworkers who have kids playing the "Kid Card," by claiming that they have to come in late sometimes, need more sick time, or that it isn't as bad to call out, when compared to workers who don't have kids. Now, I have a child myself, but I have never felt that it entitled me to special treatment at work.
Lately, some coworkers have been calling out, coming late, or leaving work early. They claim that since they have kids, it's "expected" that this should happen, and that the NH should be more understanding, and that they should not be written-up. Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
First, we have to work short if another CNA calls out. Second, we have to pick up extra residents if a CNA is late or leaves early. This affects the care the residents get. Third, if someone from the next shift comes in an hour late, we have to wait for the her/him to come in before we can leave. That can affect the childcare of someone on my shift. The problem isn't that there are emergencies that parents may sometimes have to attend to; I understand that. The problem is that lately, where I work, some parents are calling out at least one day per week, or showing up an hour late, sometimes up to two times per week, and arguing that since they have kids, this is "normal" behavior, so they shouldn't be punished or written up for that. I also don't think parents should be given "special" rules (i.e. ok to come late, more breaks) that non-parents don't have.
Again if this is happening all the time and nothing is done blame not the person calling off/coming in late, blame your place of employment. Parents shouldn't be given special rules I %100 agree with that. When your employer lets this happen it jeopardizes the safety of the care that you give to the patients. If you employer does not recognize this I would not feel comfortable working for them. Its not worth you loosing your licenses because they do care what goes on.
You are so right. It helps to see the situation through the eyes of another. Thank you for your insight. As much as I enjoy this job, it is probably not in my best interest.
So are you saying, leave to go to a more safe working environment and allow this type of behavior to continue? As a professional, I would try to make it right not just for me but for all staff members. Perhaps it would mean a new manager to make things right.
Couldn't of said it any better. Nurses are Patient advocates. We need to stand up and say enough is enough! But unfortunately standing up for what is "right" usually get you labeled as a complainer and makes you life hell when dealing with management. But I'll be damned if iam going to let lazy management jeopardize my nursing license and more importantly the wellbeing of my patients.
I'm surprised at parents who leave the facility to pick up kids in the middle of the shift on company time. If we leave the hospital we have to punch out because we are not available for patient care.
When I'm at work, I'm at work; my kids have my bedside number in case of emergencies (not the "Sis is bugging me" kind) but things can come up. I haven't had to leave work early, but if someone needs to step out to care for a child, a parent, a sick dog, that should be possible as long as they are not abusing the situation. Someone should be able to step in; another nurse, the charge nurse, the manager, even admin if necessary .
If someone is doing this on an every day basis then that needs to be scheduled for. But, if someone wants to spend their lunch time picking their kiddo up from the bus, that doesn't sound a whole lot less productive than spending their lunch napping in the car or chatting with friends.
No harm in being kind and willing to help. Nothing wrong with some good karma heading your way :).
"I'm sick ...... I have back problems ...... I have migranes ...... I'm too tired because I'm working nights ...... I'm too tired because I'm working days" ...... etc, etc, etc.
Some people will always find something to complain about. I notice that the people that complain about having sick kids and that it's "not fair" that they don't get enough sick days are also people that will complain about everything else too. Nothing makes them happy.
Not everyone that has kids complains and expects special treatment for days off ..... it's just those certain people that think they are entitled to more. Before they had kids, they were the ones complaining about not having enough days off to enjoy their "social lives". And after their kids are grown they'll be the ones complaining about not having enough days off to take care of their "back problems" and "chronic something-or-other".
when you have a baby, and you try to breastfeed, you will want to do everything YOU can to make it successful, just like i did. you'll learn someday.
I'm sorry but I find this condescending as hell. YOU have no idea what I plan to do about feeding my future children. I have no intention of breast feeding - and if I happen to change my mind, then it will be my decision and therefore my responsibility to make it work, not my co-workers responsibility to cover for me during innumerable breaks.
That's not even my point - let the lactaters take as many breaks as they want, but not at the expense of everyone else. Everyone should be getting breaks, not just breast feeding mothers. Why should we have to separate our employees and say, "Oh, you're a mother, you get special treatment." ? Hardly seems fair to the non-breast feeders in my unit who don't even get to eat LUNCH because these women are taking so many pumping breaks.
In my critical care area, we cannot leave our bedside without another nurse there if we have an intubated patient. Since almost every single one of us almost always has an intubated patient, and since there is only one charge nurse, that means that generally, only 1 nurse can be gone at a time. And since we have 5 nurses who are currently breast feeding (and we generally utilize 8-9 nurses on a given shift) that means over half of them are needing to be relieved every 2-3 hours during the day to go pump. They are gone for 15-25 minutes at a time, at least 4 times a day. Plus, they ALL take 45 minutes to an hour for lunch. This affects the rest of the employees, who can't then leave our bedsides to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, take a break ourselves or even eat lunch, because it's so much more important to provide for the working, breast feeding mother.
Pardon me if I have no sympathy.
And at our facility, the patient's breast milk is labeled, just like it is every where else. Our staff members - the ones considerate enough not to put their bodily fluids next to other people's food - take a blank label, put their name on it, the date and time and so on and so forth. So that eliminates that problem. As I said, it's only one particular individual who has no problem sticking her milk in our food fridge for all the rest of us to enjoy.
Don't lecture me about breast feeding and supporting the breast feeding mother. I was a pedi nurse. I was a NICU nurse. Now I'm a PICU nurse. I helped my own sister through breast feeding 2 babies. I know all the arguments about breast milk being best. I've never heard, though, that breast feeding mothers deserve special treatment and are more valuable employees than non breast feeders, so *my* point is why should so many concessions be made to them a the expense of everyone else?
It's not a lack of sympathy for people who have kids, it's those few people who abuse the system that give other moms a bad rap. There are several moms, a few of whom are single, in our nursing class. Only one is consistently late/absent - and she always uses her kid as an excuse. She hasn't failed out yet, I'm not entirely sure how. The problem arises when the "it's not me, it's my kids" excuse is more accepted by management/instructors than other excuses. It's great when facilities can work with your schedule, and you can get Tues and Thurs off for Johnny's ballgames by working every MWF, or use your lunch break to pump milk. We all have emergencies where we have to miss/be late, kids or no. However, if you're late every other day for ANY reason, there's a problem. You should work a different shift or find a different job (or get better child care, or their father should be dealing with it). My husband really wants kids sooner rather than later - that's OK, because he has a job where he can go in at 8 or at 10, as long as he stays for 8 hours. He also has the option to work from home, so he'll be the one to stay home with a sick kid 100% of the time, because he won't even have to take a sick day. If he had a 24 hour job too, then maybe I shouldn't have chosen to go into nursing. It's all about choices - anyone who wanted to work "regular" hours should have gone into dental hygiene.
when an individual takes a job they need to consider the aspects of the job and how it fits into their life. lives change as everyone knows and therefore jobs may have to change. one's life is their life, however although my family is my top priority and my job is a priority, it is not my employer's or coworker's responsibility. it is fabulous if they can help out, but not required. i have coworkers who will call in for day shift saying they are running late and can someone stay. myself or someone is always happy to help them out as long as it isn't abused. if someone is constantly coming in late (this is especially bad if they don't call in ahead of time, that is a yearly evaluation criteria in most places and should be addressed. if you have a job where your employer can make exceptions/changes that are options for anyone --that is fabulous and one should appreciate it. bedside nursing rarely has that, but you know that going in. i work nights now that i have young kids and that was a choice i made while my husband works days. someone is always home if they need us. when my kids were babies, i kept them home with me until around a year. i would sleep when they slept and then went to bed when my husband got home. i work 8 hour weekday shifts and very third weekend 12 hour shifts. i was lucky that when they got around 8 mos it was summer and i could have teenagers come into my home so i could sleep more. i have no family in town. now i am home if the school calls and one is sick. if i know ahead of time that one is sick, my husband checks his schedule before i call in with a sick child. majority of time i still go to work and he stays home until around noonish while i get some sleep. sick time is sick time. our vacation/sick time is all the same and everyone accumulates it according to their longevity at our institution. if you use too much, you just have to take the day off without pay. it is hard for them to argue about calling in with sick kids (especially if you are a single parent) but where we are there are no sick kid daycares. in my unit we work as a team and appreciate our coworkers. if someone has to go home for a sick kid, we help them out because we know they'll help us out sometime (even those without kids). there are times i don't call in sick when i need the money or know we are desperate in the unit that week. i work in a small unit so when we get busy things are stretched. i will often try to trade a shift with someone if possible. most people are glad to give up one of their weekend shifts to help me out. prn, different shift, different institution, less ftes, etc may be better for one with kids. i've even known nurses who have become self employed in order to "make their lives smoother between work and family".
The words that stood out the most in your reply was TEAM WORK. I can see that you have great teamwork. Wish I could say the same for where we are at. The biggest problem is the favoritism our manager blatantly displays. This favoritism is what is contributing to our DRAMA on the unit.
In my current job (non-healthcare), I seem to be looked upon as never having a good reason to call out or leave early. I believe it is because I am the only one married with children (all of my other coworkers are single parents). I have support from my family. My husband and I made a decision while I was pregnant with my daughter to move closer to his family so that my children will not have to be in daycare but cared for by family. This has been wonderful for us. We as a family work through the schedule and my children always have someone there for them. I understand that not everyone has these options and I am very blessed for the family I have. I rarely have to call out but it does happen...in the past year, I had to call out/leave early 4 days. I am alloted 6 days per year.
When I do need to call out or leave, I get the comments from my manager like:
"why isn't your mother-in-law picking your child up from school...." (school nurse has called and adv that my son is ill, i first try to locate a family member if my husband and I are not able to leave.)
Just because I do have a support system doesn't mean that I am not needed sometimes when my children are ill.
I plan ahead for all doctor's appointments, dentist, school events, etc. I do not have daycare issues. But yet because I have a support system in place that works majority of the time, they expect that I should never have to leave or call in for kid issues.
My manager is constantly leaving early to deal with her children at school or for doc appointments, etc. She gives me the "well I'm a single parent". Can you not be flexible for me or at least not make comments...why do I need to explain. I can't help it that my manager and my coworkers are single parents. My mother was a single parent and she moved us to be closer to family so that she had a support system and would not be late or constantly having to call in. There are solutions to every problem...you just need to take a close look and find it.
I think if you have family to support you that is great. I've commented on that numerous times at work and have supported other staff and this is the explanation I give to higher ups that make comments. When you have a sick child that isn't always an option. If my family were here, my mom and dad are in their 70s with mom having had quad bypass. Are they appropriate to watch a gastro/influenza/RSV etc child? We do not need to compromise them not to mention that kids need their mommies (and daddies) sometimes. They get the picture even when I used this on our infection control house manager and our hospital superviser.
I plan ahead for all doctor's appointments, dentist, school events, etc. I do not have daycare issues. But yet because I have a support system in place that works majority of the time, they expect that I should never have to leave or call in for kid issues.
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I see that this is more of this issue than naught. I think that the single people or people with children out of the nest (which makes NO sense to me) are often the ones who are like... why are do you need off? You have more support. Heck, I am the lucky one - I work weekends so I never have to call in for my child @ my "real job" unless there is an emergency due to my husband working a "real job" as I call it... however... I do find that the few employees we do have that do have children (most of my coworkers are much older than me) when they do need to call in they are berated for it! I do not find this fair in any terms, I feel that this is a double standard.
Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
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Vedder316
19 Posts
Again if this is happening all the time and nothing is done blame not the person calling off/coming in late, blame your place of employment. Parents shouldn't be given special rules I %100 agree with that. When your employer lets this happen it jeopardizes the safety of the care that you give to the patients. If you employer does not recognize this I would not feel comfortable working for them. Its not worth you loosing your licenses because they do care what goes on.