I work as a private practice NP Internal Medicine provider in the same medical center where I started as RN years ago.
A some time ago, I stopped sharing ANY private information about myself and my family, period. Partially it was due to xenophobia I experienced in the same place, partially due to current political situation and partially because I am, well, sick and tired of sharing information that has nothing to do with business. I am nice, polite and adamant about it, whether one feels like "just curious" or not. But, since I was there before, some pieces leaked out and stayed in collective memory.
Over the last year, I encountered more than once that patients/families somehow got to know where I came from and some other details I did not share with them. It is Trump country overall, so more than once it led to situations when I was asked humiliating (to say it mildly) questions directly in my face, refusal of care under premise that I must be "a spy or something", etc. Needless to say, it doesn't make my life any better.
The single source of leak in all cases with no exclusion were staff RNs. I spoke with them; some outright denied telling patients anything, but when presented with facts, everyone started the same spiel: "the patient/family just wanted to know where are you from, what are you doing here in America and if you have any kids - they are customers, you know, and why they cannot know if they are just curious?" No one of them had an impression that what they did was wrong.
In my opinion, doing so is, at least, unprofessional.
Speaking with NURSING management led to nowhere. They have no policies about it, and "what if he just wanted to know, and the nurse happens to know, and not comfortable to say "no"?"
I have thought of multiple answers to this thread and I have posted a couple. I do have several thoughts and IMHO:
1) If the OP or anyone does not want coworkers to share her personal information, then don't tell anyone. And yes, I realize she told them years ago when she was a peer.
2) A person cannot control any other person. Telling/requesting a group of other people "not to talk about you" does not work. It usually makes a group more talkative.
3) The Board of Nursing in any state REALLY does not care about gossip between staff members. The BON's mission and purpose is to protect the PUBLIC by careful licensing of nurses.
4) The word "slander" has been thrown around. A careful look at the legal definition of the word might be helpful.
5) To the OP: "Victim" is not a word I would use to describe you. You have an advanced education. Please use this knowledge to further your education about your profession and how the laws and regs will work in your favor and complaints to the BON will not. You do carry a huge responsibility as a mid level provider of health care.
I have thought of multiple answers to this thread and I have posted a couple. I do have several thoughts and IMHO:
1) If the OP or anyone does not want coworkers to share her personal information, then don't tell anyone. And yes, I realize she told them years ago when she was a peer.
2) A person cannot control any other person. Telling/requesting a group of other people "not to talk about you" does not work. It usually makes a group more talkative.
3) The Board of Nursing in any state REALLY does not care about gossip between staff members. The BON's mission and purpose is to protect the PUBLIC by careful licensing of nurses.
4) The word "slander" has been thrown around. A careful look at the legal definition of the word might be helpful.
5) To the OP: "Victim" is not a word I would use to describe you. You have an advanced education. Please use this knowledge to further your education about your profession and how the laws and regs will work in your favor and complaints to the BON will not. You do carry a huge responsibility as a mid level provider of health care.
I have thought of multiple answers to this thread and I have posted a couple. I do have several thoughts and IMHO:
1) If the OP or anyone does not want coworkers to share her personal information, then don't tell anyone. And yes, I realize she told them years ago when she was a peer.
2) A person cannot control any other person. Telling/requesting a group of other people "not to talk about you" does not work. It usually makes a group more talkative.
3) The Board of Nursing in any state REALLY does not care about gossip between staff members. The BON's mission and purpose is to protect the PUBLIC by careful licensing of nurses.
4) The word "slander" has been thrown around. A careful look at the legal definition of the word might be helpful.
5) To the OP: "Victim" is not a word I would use to describe you. You have an advanced education. Please use this knowledge to further your education about your profession and how the laws and regs will work in your favor and complaints to the BON will not. You do carry a huge responsibility as a mid level provider of health care.
I agree with this, except for where, in your point number two, you stated that: "Telling/requesting a group of other people "not to talk about you" does not work. It usually makes a group more talkative."
Whether it works or not depends on the characters of the individuals in the group and on how the request/instruction is delivered. If it is done as considerately as possible, people are more likely to consider the request/instruction reasonable and to consider the effect their conduct is having on the OP. Of course, delivering the request/instruction in a dictatorial manner is unlikely to yield a good response.
This has been an interesting thread. I will admit, it has made me think twice
about some things.
I live in an area.... I think the whole state of Kentucky is like this, even the
larger towns... making conversation about personal stuff is totally seen as the
norm. Someone mentioned earlier in the thread about a "Doc of the week"
type of thing done at their workplace. I've worked in a number of places
where this type of thing was done. Heck, I once worked in a PSYCH facility
in which, new staff members would have their names and pictures put on
a bulletin board in the front hallway, along with a small bio. If I remember
correctly, it WAS an area that was completely off limits to patients.
I've never had nor seen any problem with this type of thing. I've never
had a problem with telling patients that my coworker is from Scotland. I've
never had any inkling that she would have a problem with it.
However, I can truly see other points of view in this thread. I've lived
a sheltered life here in ol' Kentucky. Forgive me.
You are forgiven :) But I am glad that you read.
It is kind of interesting that within one country regional differences in psychology and attitudes can be more significant than differences between, say, Britons and Italians.
Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.
So here is the situation.
I work as a private practice NP Internal Medicine provider in the same medical center where I started as RN years ago.
A some time ago, I stopped sharing ANY private information about myself and my family, period. Partially it was due to xenophobia I experienced in the same place, partially due to current political situation and partially because I am, well, sick and tired of sharing information that has nothing to do with business. I am nice, polite and adamant about it, whether one feels like "just curious" or not. But, since I was there before, some pieces leaked out and stayed in collective memory.
Over the last year, I encountered more than once that patients/families somehow got to know where I came from and some other details I did not share with them. It is Trump country overall, so more than once it led to situations when I was asked humiliating (to say it mildly) questions directly in my face, refusal of care under premise that I must be "a spy or something", etc. Needless to say, it doesn't make my life any better.
The single source of leak in all cases with no exclusion were staff RNs. I spoke with them; some outright denied telling patients anything, but when presented with facts, everyone started the same spiel: "the patient/family just wanted to know where are you from, what are you doing here in America and if you have any kids - they are customers, you know, and why they cannot know if they are just curious?" No one of them had an impression that what they did was wrong.
In my opinion, doing so is, at least, unprofessional.
Speaking with NURSING management led to nowhere. They have no policies about it, and "what if he just wanted to know, and the nurse happens to know, and not comfortable to say "no"?"
I would appreciate some collective wisdom.
I ran into this situation in my work environment. My circumstances were different from the OPs, but I also kept my personal information private (and still do). At the time, I was the DON at a women's correctional facility (I am DON at a male correctional facility now, so many of the same rules still apply). My office is intentionally devoid of any decorations that would give inmates any indication of the size or makeup of my family, where I went to school or even what sports teams I support. On the occasions when I have an inmate in the office, I don't want them to know anything more about me personally when they leave the office than they did when they came in. Despite my best efforts, I had an incident one day resulting from information that staff denied passing on, but that is the only place that it could have come from.
I adopted a dog from the local animal shelter. One morning when I was headed to my office, an inmate asked me how my miniature pinscher was doing. I had not mentioned the dog to or around any inmates ever, so it had to have come from staff. I understood the inmate's interest, because she was involved in a dog training program that my facility had. It would have been different had I adopted one of the dogs that they had trained (which several staff did), but this wasn't the case.
I was aggravated to say the least. I never definitively found out who the culprit was who shared my personal information. One thing that I can tell you for certain is that after my next staff meeting, people knew not to do it again.
morte, LPN, LVN
7,015 Posts
Full, that was classic blame the victim.