Quitting 2nd new grad job for family

[PTKChic]

Hello, I bring my personal life to allnurses.com for needed advice from nurses much more experienced than I.

About me:

I'm in my 30s, been in healthcare for 15 yrs (8 mo as an RN), married, and mom of a brand new kindergartener. I've got 1 year left of my full-time BSN program.

Dilemma:

I'm strongly considering quitting a 2nd RN job; a job I've been in for over 2 mo. I'm thinking about doing this very, very soon, but I have yet to hear any sound advice- for or against.

Background:

I earned my 1st job as a pediatric home nurse before I even graduated the ADN program. The most complicated care I provided my peds client was cleaning an old GT site and administering Zyrtec. Hours were few (had only 20 hrs for 1 mo, one time). I sincerely attempted to make it work by repetedly asking for more complicated clients (or at least another one) and more hrs. It never happened. I was an overpaid nanny, essentially. Admittedly, peds is not for me.

After 5.5 mo, I found a 2nd job and gave a 2 wk notice (did not know the 1 mo rule for RNs at the time).

2nd job is in LTC, I wanted the fast-paced TCU but begrudgingly took this position because it worked around my school schedule. And...I love it here! I didn't realize I missed LTC so much, and it is not boring, quite the opposite, in fact. I am a .4 AM shift and don't plan to leave anytime soon.

3rd job is a psych position in a group home for independent residents (they really only need med management and occasional wound care). I've been dreaming of working in psych since before age 10. I asked about this job from a friend who worked there, before applying to the LTC job. No openings. Darn. Just as I finished LTC orientation (1 mo later) she tells me there's a .4 that was opened just for me (she went on and on, apparently, about me to her boss). Only every Friday evening and the weekends are opposite of my LTC job? What luck! Red flag: I had to keep convincing myself and others that it was my dream job and that fact trumped all negative ones.

Back to back orientation sucked, but orientation was only "temporary", right?

Effect on family:

I see my daughter for a couple hours each weekday.She's been acting out so badly since all of my crazy schedule stuff started, so most of our interactions are struggling to get her to eat or ready for bed. Family time is gone with me working every weekend. I will miss all of her kindergarten events by working Fridays. We cancelled our out-of-state vacation to see my FIL. My husband and I haven't been intimate in almost 3 wks, there's no time. I've gained 7#. I'm in the car 7 hours for only 4 days of work (psych job is 1 hr away). I won't go into school stuff because it should be obvious that my school work will struggle, as well. I can't sleep, I'm in a constant state of anxiety, and my well-controlled back pain flared up again.

** But 2 jobs ended within 8 mo of being a RN? Been at 1 for barely over 2 mo. I sound like an undependable loser and feel that I will a shame my friend who got me the psych job. (I still love psych, though). What do I do? Merciful or merciless- please be truthful.

[Ladyscrubs]

I'm thinking about doing this very, very soon, but I have yet to hear any sound advice- for or against.

Really? Did you even read what you wrote?

I see my daughter for a couple hours each weekday.

She's been acting out so badly since all of my crazy schedule stuff started

(We are...) struggling to get her to eat or ready for bed

Family time is gone

I will miss all of her kindergarten events

We canceled...to see my FIL.

My husband and I haven't been intimate

I've gained 7#

I'm in the car 7 hours for only 4 days of work

school work will struggle

I can't sleep

...in a constant state of anxiety

... back pain flared up again

You have your answer ~ Besides my opinion shouldn't count. Talk to the hubs, how does he truly feel, and remember your child is or should be your priority.

[caliotter3]

Do you need to work to keep a roof over your heads or food on the table? Some people don't have choices when it comes to working, or not.

[Ladyscrubs]

I am not saying to quit working but it sound like OP wants to work both jobs, continue to go to school full time and remain married with child (ren). So…

Dump the LTC, if it really is her dream to pass meds to a group of guys in a group home, I say, go for it. The job sounds like a sure thing, and she doesn't have to explain her work history to the new employer. However the LTC sound like it ticks all the boxes with family and school. If OP plans on working both jobs, because of money, she should take her health into consideration, and perhaps postpone school. It would truly be sad if Op finally gets her BSN and can only work a short time because of disabling pain, and severe anxiety.

Like I said before, talk to the husband, he is the partner—he will be picking up the slack.

[marie.rn2419, RN]

It sounds like this is causing you a lot of anxiety, understandably. I will be honest, though; future hiring managers may find it concerning that you have left two jobs in 8 months as a new RN. Have you considered asking your employer if you can take a leave of absence or go to prn status for a while? They would likely want to retain you because they invested money when they hired you. Longevity goes a long way on your resume. Just a thought. You know what will be best for you. Good luck and congrats on becoming an RN!

[jewelzrnbsn1080]

You're a busy lady! Follow your heart only you can make the best decision I think cutting back may be a good idea but that's just my two cents

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

If I understand this correctly, the OP has two jobs, a husband, a child and is going to school as well. It also sounds as if she took the second job because "it's my dream job" over some serious misgivings.

My advice would be to quit one of the jobs or quit school. Yes, it's going to look bad to have quit two jobs with less than a year of licensure. So you make sure you stay in the one job (whichever one you choose) for a solid two years. I'm thinking the LTC job sounds as if it's the one that will work out the best for family life, but the OP and her husband are the ones to be making that decision.