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Questioning myself

Specializes in School Nursing. Has 10 years experience.

maybe it's the time of year and i am burned out, but please help me out here .

how you do treat the students when they come in with complaints. i am kind, and concerned but do not "gush" all over them with hugs and kisses. i assess them to the best of my professional ability. i am concerned and compassionate but do not play into their "illness" . i see many malingerers in the course of my day and sometimes it's hard to judge their complaints. often times, staff has made me feel like i am not caring or concerned. i am. but if i tear up and play into that "woe is me" feeling, then how can i be objective to the problems. anyone with ideas, suggestions ?? thanks for your constant friendships !

praiser :redbeathe

Flare, ASN, BSN

Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

I think it's best to assess and treat without putting any emotion into it. I have students that i adore, but they would also come to my office and spend all day there rather than work. they are swiftly sent back to class after a glance over. It's the kids that i never see that get a little more softness from me. Teachers don't understand that they have 20 something kids in their classes - we have the entire danged student body. There is no time to be all mushy and gushy over a kid that comes in with a stomach ache 4 times a week. This doesn't mean that i'm not polite or friendly, i'm just not a coddler in general.

To me it sounds like you are foing the right thing and i think it's the teachers that need the attitude adjustment. Maybe if someone says something to you that insinuates that you are not caring you could come back with something like "Oh, if i were like that, my office would be packed all day, every day with kids crying wolf."

rdsxfnrn

Has 10 years experience.

Yes I care also, but u r right. You cant buy into every booboo or h/a or s/a, geez, they would never stop coming down here. :) It is hard to feel any sympathy at all for the FF, when they come in I just want to tell them to GET OUT! I always assess cuz that one time I dont is going to be the time they actually are sick! Hang on, it's almost time for sunner break!

Keepstanding, ASN, RN

Specializes in School Nursing. Has 10 years experience.

i think it's best to assess and treat without putting any emotion into it. i have students that i adore, but they would also come to my office and spend all day there rather than work. they are swiftly sent back to class after a glance over. it's the kids that i never see that get a little more softness from me. teachers don't understand that they have 20 something kids in their classes - we have the entire danged student body. there is no time to be all mushy and gushy over a kid that comes in with a stomach ache 4 times a week. this doesn't mean that i'm not polite or friendly, i'm just not a coddler in general.

to me it sounds like you are foing the right thing and i think it's the teachers that need the attitude adjustment. maybe if someone says something to you that insinuates that you are not caring you could come back with something like "oh, if i were like that, my office would be packed all day, every day with kids crying wolf."

thanks firefightingrn. i appreciate your response. i needed that ! :nurse:

praiser :redbeathe

Keepstanding, ASN, RN

Specializes in School Nursing. Has 10 years experience.

yes i care also, but u r right. you cant buy into every booboo or h/a or s/a, geez, they would never stop coming down here. :) it is hard to feel any sympathy at all for the ff, when they come in i just want to tell them to get out! i always assess cuz that one time i dont is going to be the time they actually are sick! hang on, it's almost time for sunner break!

thanks rdsoxfnrn....i appreciate it ! :)

praiser :redbeathe

Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN

Specializes in School Nursing. Has 8 years experience.

I am not a coddler either. I think when we excessively cuddle and go gaga over every minor discomfort we are setting these kids up to become the adults we all hate to work with...those who call out for every minor ache, pain, inconvenience, etc. I think we have to avoid creating an environment of learned helplessness. Kids need to start learning for an early age that life can be uncomfortable, and we have to learn to take those discomforts in stride.

Sometimes I do feel like the "mean nurse", and often when I relay stories of my day to my DH he kids me that I am the mean nurse, but I think the way I handle it is really in the kids best interest. No sense in coddling them in elementary then let them be in for a rude awakening in middle and high school, much less the real world, when that stuff just won't fly anymore!

That said, I am much more likely to coddle an emotional pain than a physical one. Sometimes those leave the deeper scars anyway. And I will fuss over a kid with a serious injury (fracture, etc.) or illness. They deserve it!

Keepstanding, ASN, RN

Specializes in School Nursing. Has 10 years experience.

i am not a coddler either. i think when we excessively cuddle and go gaga over every minor discomfort we are setting these kids up to become the adults we all hate to work with...those who call out for every minor ache, pain, inconvenience, etc. i think we have to avoid creating an environment of learned helplessness. kids need to start learning for an early age that life can be uncomfortable, and we have to learn to take those discomforts in stride.

sometimes i do feel like the "mean nurse", and often when i relay stories of my day to my dh he kids me that i am the mean nurse, but i think the way i handle it is really in the kids best interest. no sense in coddling them in elementary then let them be in for a rude awakening in middle and high school, much less the real world, when that stuff just won't fly anymore!

that said, i am much more likely to coddle an emotional pain than a physical one. sometimes those leave the deeper scars anyway. and i will fuss over a kid with a serious injury (fracture, etc.) or illness. they deserve it!

thanks purple......i always appreciate your feedback ! :) just needed a little feedback from those of you who always "have my back" ! thanks again ! :nurse:

praiser :redbeathe

jagalu100305

Specializes in School Nurse, NICU. Has 7 years experience.

I agree with all that was said---i feel I have a GREAT relationship with the students---i am very nice to all of them but do not coddle and am very firm about who I send home--you have to be that way or you WILL get walked all over!! esp in junior/high school they may not realize a student NEVER asks to go the nurse in their class but may do it in every other class!! :yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah:--dont get discouraged!! keep up the good work

Keepstanding, ASN, RN

Specializes in School Nursing. Has 10 years experience.

i agree with all that was said---i feel i have a great relationship with the students---i am very nice to all of them but do not coddle and am very firm about who i send home--you have to be that way or you will get walked all over!! esp in junior/high school they may not realize a student never asks to go the nurse in their class but may do it in every other class!! :yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah:--dont get discouraged!! keep up the good work

thanks jagalu, i appreciate your thoughts on this and your kind words ! :)

praiser :redbeathe

I completely understand! My first year I felt like such a mean nurse because I would be very short and unsympathetic to the 'frequent flyers' and others I could just tell were faking. I would even tell them to quit coming in so much. Then it was nurse day and some of the teachers had their classes make me a card and I was so shocked at all the comments I got on how nice and caring I was!!! Even from those that I inwardly groaned when I saw them. So their perception is much different than ours I think. I think for some they just need attention and the fact I didn't yell at them they felt I was nice. Sad but true. So now I try to always be nice but firm and say in a cheerful voice-sorry you don't have a fever, have a nice day!

On another note, I did a spiritual gifts quiz in church one day and I said to the group I was suprised that mercy or any of the others having to do with nursing didn't come up high and someone said that's because the best nurses are the ones that can emotionally distance themselves from the patient to give the best unbiased care. They had a valid point. I've learned in the several years of doing this that the more you coddle the bigger babies you create-even with your own kids. So don't feel bad-you're doing what's best!

Keepstanding, ASN, RN

Specializes in School Nursing. Has 10 years experience.

i completely understand! my first year i felt like such a mean nurse because i would be very short and unsympathetic to the 'frequent flyers' and others i could just tell were faking. i would even tell them to quit coming in so much. then it was nurse day and some of the teachers had their classes make me a card and i was so shocked at all the comments i got on how nice and caring i was!!! even from those that i inwardly groaned when i saw them. so their perception is much different than ours i think. i think for some they just need attention and the fact i didn't yell at them they felt i was nice. sad but true. so now i try to always be nice but firm and say in a cheerful voice-sorry you don't have a fever, have a nice day!

on another note, i did a spiritual gifts quiz in church one day and i said to the group i was suprised that mercy or any of the others having to do with nursing didn't come up high and someone said that's because the best nurses are the ones that can emotionally distance themselves from the patient to give the best unbiased care. they had a valid point. i've learned in the several years of doing this that the more you coddle the bigger babies you create-even with your own kids. so don't feel bad-you're doing what's best!

thanks missyl670, your words are a comfort. i appreciate it ! :redbeathe

praiser

noreenl

Specializes in school RN, CNA Instructor, M/S.

I just treat each child as they come in. everybody gets assessed, but I have to admit I have taken 1 or 2 in my lap when the tears are real (you can tell!) If a little one has fallen sometimes they just need to talk to Mommy or daddy then they are fine. I look at it like this I don't tell the teachers how to do their job I don't let them dictate mine!!!

mandm97, RN

Specializes in School Nurse/Supervisor. Has 35 years experience.

Praiser....OMG what a timely topic for me!!! I can't express more clearly then what has been said here! Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind....I've been in this boat many times!:mad: I feel you need to have the "tough love" thing going on. We all know when someone needs a little extra TLC and when somebody needs the tough love routine. I would like to think that I'm a compassionate nurse without all the coddling of the FF and worriers. But boy... it gets frustrating....when you get a student calmed down and staff members comes by and ohhs and ahhs over that student. I love my job ( I really do!!! :lol2::lol2:) but today has been one of those days when you question your sanity because a teacher does not like your assessement!!

Thanks for your post and letting me vent!!

coddling=bad ........genuine care that is appropriate for illness/injury=good.

teachers should be censored for coddling, does the child/children no favors.

basically it is ENABLING maladaptive behavior.

fantasia2400

Specializes in Telemetry, Womens Health. Has 4 years experience.

Hi there...I know this is a little late in responding but I felt compelled to give my thoughts.

I work in a wide variety of age ranges: K-3, Preschool and Middle School.

In the elementary level I do tend to be very nice, understanding, affectionate...I have found that most of the stomach aches just need a little TLC. I want all of my students to look to the nurse as someone they can go to when they are hurt, sick, bullied, or stressed. I don't want them to be afraid to come. (I have a health aide that the students are afraid of and reluctantly come to see her) Now don't get me wrong I am not a pushover, i use my assessment skills to really weed out the actual vs the "fake" complaints. I think someone above mentioned being firm..I agree but I always soften it with the little ones.

Middle School: Phew..they are a different breed than the K-3! I have to be very firm with them. They tend to try to influence me and manipulate. I am not affectionate with them at all. If I feel that they are faking or just want to go home I call their guidance counselor..that usually gets them back to class.

In summary I just think I am more suited to Elementary School children...

Cheers!

Melissa

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