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I had an situation yesterday, that I was completely unprepared and unsure how to respond to this, especially in my school where Sex Ed is not allowed.

I had a student, age 13, come in and tell me she had her first sexual experience with her boyfriend of 16. And that they didn't use a condom and she was happy she had her period.

The only thing I told her is that she needs to be careful on these things and she needs to tell her parents or our dean of students, because of pregnancy and the age of consent, use protection and such. She didn't want to because she was afraid she would get in trouble.

She left and I was in lost on what to do, do I report it to my dean of students, do I call CPS? I searched on the age of consent and I saw the laws and this situation got worse because of her age.

I told my dean of students, who in all honestly didn't know what to do about this issue because she never had this issue before, so we had to call our central office and they told us we need to tell the parents and inform the child what we're doing.

Now I'm going to have to talk to her with the DoS and explain to her why I'm doing this, even thought she told me in confidence.

Before we go on this topic, Texas Law has a lot of things, including the Romeo and Juliet Clause, but even though, they are 3 years apart, she is still considered a minor and such a minor here in 13 years old, and below that age is considered statutory rape and other things that can make more harm than good. As well I am in a Public Charter School.

I'm not sure how to approach this at all, these kids come talk to me because we have a counselor who only comes once a week and it's mostly for issues that she is told about like suicide or other things. Most of the things I'm told are "I like this boy" or "This girl is so mean" and I tell my DoS about it because she handles these issues, but now this?

What do I do? What should I do?

Edit: I was told I don't need to be in this meeting, and apparently mother is coming to come talk to our DoS with the child.

Specializes in School Nurse, past Med Surge.
I did already, but I'm just worried this kid would say more than I said and I would get in trouble. DoS is having a meeting with the parent and student today on this issue.

Why do they not want you in there? I'd want to be there to defend my words, if necessary.

Specializes in Pediatrics Retired.
This is one of the reasons why I am nurse at the elementary level - uggg what a tough situation to be in. Parents are so uptight these days (at least in my area) that I feel I need to be careful about how much info I give to any of my 4th/5th grade girls when they have period questions.

For sure for sure! Although I'm sure you get more "questions" than I do - thank goodness.

Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
Why do they not want you in there? I'd want to be there to defend my words, if necessary.

I'm guessing because of the child's trust in me and I honestly don't want to confront her in this issue because she will be very angry toward me.

I'm guessing because of the child's trust in me and I honestly don't want to confront her in this issue because she will be very angry toward me.

Wait...why is she angry? You did the right thing!!!

13 year olds get angry all the time. In a few years she might thank you. If I was her parent I sure would.

As the person she reported to and confided in, I would want to be there!

Please try.

Specializes in NCSN.
Wait...why is she angry? You did the right thing!!!

13 year olds get angry all the time. In a few years she might thank you. If I was her parent I sure would.

As the person she reported to and confided in, I would want to be there!

Please try.

Don't worry about the little ones anger. Sometimes what we want and what we need are two different things. She needs more help than you can give and you did the right thing.

I do NOT think your job is at risk over this. You did communicate with the people you needed to, and you may have said somethings in the middle of the moment that your state/school district wouldn't approve of, but I am sure her parent is grateful that your response was what it was. Your words came from a place of kindness and caring.

Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.

Apparently they already had the meeting. And it went well, but that's all it was said to me.

And I if another student comes in with something like this, I need to notify admin after the child leaves. Apparently depending on the issue, we will either contact their parents and/or central office to report.

But as what to tell the student, I'm not really sure what to say in that situation so I won't get in trouble.

Apparently they already had the meeting.

Okay.

Take a deep breath.

Ask for an update.

Then come tell us.:blink:

Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
Okay.

Take a deep breath.

Ask for an update.

Then come tell us.:blink:

lol. They just told me it went well, that's it. Nothing more.

Wait...why is she angry? You did the right thing!!!

13 year olds get angry all the time. In a few years she might thank you. If I was her parent I sure would.

As the person she reported to and confided in, I would want to be there!

Please try.

I mean, you guys gotta do what you legally gotta do. I get it. Report, have meetings, whatever. But jeez, is that ever the best way possible to ensure nobody ever comes to talk to the school nurse about sex ever again!

Specializes in Cardio-Pulmonary; Med-Surg; Private Duty.

Telling a child to "be careful" is NOT sex education in any way, shape, or form, IMO, and you shouldn't have to worry about that coming back to bite you now or in the future.

The phrase itself is simply a warning to take care in what one does. The TYPE of care is entirely up to the individual... it could be condoms / birth control pills / diaphragm, or it could be abstinence, or it could be oral/manual performance instead.

If you encounter this situation in the future, I would have no qualms telling a child that he/she only has one body, and it's vital that they be careful in what they choose to do with their body, and that as an adult with healthcare training, you are recommending that they talk to their doctor/PA/NP as soon as possible to keep themselves safe.

Not any different than if someone takes up skateboarding... you'd want them to go to a professional who can direct them in obtaining the proper padding and helmet to keep themselves safe. You're not likely a skateboarding expert yourself, but you know enough to tell them to talk to an expert in the field.

Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
I mean, you guys gotta do what you legally gotta do. I get it. Report, have meetings, whatever. But jeez, is that ever the best way possible to ensure nobody ever comes to talk to the school nurse about sex ever again!

The thing is I don't mind talking to them about sex, but the problem is because of how conservative my school is, I can't educate them properly on anything.

I was just told that if I have this issue again, I just need to let the admin know and that's it, but as what to tell them? I'm not sure, because it's not my kid. If it was my kids, I would be up front about it and tell it like it is, but because she isn't, I can't go and tell her to use protection or anything that sounds like I'm condoning the behavior, and that's what I was told.

The thing is I don't mind talking to them about sex, but the problem is because of how conservative my school is, I can't educate them properly on anything.

I was just told that if I have this issue again, I just need to let the admin know and that's it, but as what to tell them? I'm not sure, because it's not my kid. If it was my kids, I would be up front about it and tell it like it is, but because she isn't, I can't go and tell her to use protection or anything that sounds like I'm condoning the behavior, and that's what I was told.

I hear you. That sounds completely frustrating. That would be an incredible ethical problem for me.

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