Question about C-section birth plan

Published

I've had two c-sections previously and didn't have a birth plan for either one. However, everyone keeps telling me I need one since something is always forgotten. I think it's nuts, but even my doctor suggested it. So, give me your honest nursing opinions on this plan please and let me know if there's anything annoying, unnecessary, or what. Thanks in advance!

I'm having a C-section. My doctor said to write a birth plan. Here it is.

- Pre-Op: As long as my butt isn't hanging out while I waddle to the OR, we're good to go.

- Surgery: If daddy isn't taking pictures, feel free to poke him with a sharp object. If he drops my camera, call the morgue. They'll have a new body shortly.

- Extras: Tie my tubes. I'm going to have a husband, a newborn, a 5 year old, a teenager, and his entire varsity football team at my house every freaking day. I don't want any more people there. Yank the suckers out if you have to.

- Post Op: Is really boring. Can I smuggle in a book to read while they're sewing me up? I'm guessing not, but I had to try.

- The Baby: You're in charge. Family members are not. Hide behind the glass. They can't reach you there and you can pretend you can't hear them. Do whatever you need to do as far as eye drops, etc. Whatever you have on hand for her to wear for the photo is fine.

- My room: My needs for my room are very specific: Coke. Mexican food. Not your responsibility at all, but if any family members ask what they can do to "help" while they're waiting on the baby, that's the answer.

- Rowdy children: My 5 year old is high spirited. (i.e. a pain in the butt when he's bored) If he's annoying anyone, two words will take care of this . . . "Flick it." (His grandparents bought him an iPad for Christmas. His favorite game is Pocket God where you flick little island characters into a volcano. He insists on calling the game flick it. My teenager encourages this since he and his friends get a laugh out of hearing him say, "I need to flick it." I'm sorry. They're boys. It's a lost cause.)

- Feeding: I will be bottle feeding. Why? Breast fed babies are bigger. You've seen the teenager. He's 6 foot and 203 pounds. He sucks up food like a Hoover vacuum. I don't want a bigger one. (Seriously though, both I and my boys had severe lactose intolerance as infants. The pedi said it's probably safer to start out with lactose free just in case.)

- Pain meds: I'm bad about not taking any pain meds. I'm also a night owl. For some reason this combination annoyed my obgyn to the point where he threatened me with a longer stay if I didn't take the Percocet and go to sleep with my last delivery. Since I don't want to argue over it, or stay an extra night, just pry the baby out of my hands and give me something that will knock me out. You can give me something the next morning too since that second day soreness kicks you in the butt. Preferably something non-drowsy, but whatever you have is fine. Seriously. I'm only doing this so the doc won't gripe.

To recap: You're in charge. Ignore my family. And thank you all so very, very much for all you nurses do. In the words of my teen, "You guys are da bomb!"

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

That's funny:hhmth:. I'm not sure how much of a plan it is but it's cute!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in OB,HH.

This is amazing, I LOVE it!

I can guarantee that if you should actually present such a plan to a group of experienced OB nurses you would be treated to the best care you ever got, with a smile from every one of them. Nothing worse than the totally unrealistic "plans" most come in with, in particular elderly primips with all the answers- you know who Im talking about

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thanks for the opinions! My OBGYN is insisting on a plan, so I figure this would be better than. "Take the baby out." LOL. I'm really going to give this to them as he told me to present it when we go in at 5:30 in the morning. LOL.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Thanks for the opinions! My OBGYN is insisting on a plan, so I figure this would be better than. "Take the baby out." LOL. I'm really going to give this to them as he told me to present it when we go in at 5:30 in the morning. LOL.

Congratulations and good luck!!!!!!!:yeah::yeah:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Respiratory, Cardiac, ED, Maternity, Ped.

ahhhhh i am usually soooooo against birth plans for the simple reason that....you can not plan. You do not know what will happen. Birth is a natural unpredictable process. But....I do have to say yours is very cute and completely reasonable!!!!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Love it!!

I don't work L&D, but would love to have more patients that had your attitude!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency Dept.

Haha! I love it! Good luck, and congrats on the little one :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in long term care Alzheimers Patients.

I Love it Good Luck and Conrgrats on the new little one.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, Hospice, Case Management.

I am not an OB nurse but thought I would open the thread and read it just so I could chuckle at another prima donna ninny.

Well I did chuckle - but how refreshing to find someone so down to earth. The best of luck to you and your family.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.

Most cases of "lactose intolerance" in infants is actually a milk protein sensitivity (not a sensitivity to breastmilk, but to cow's milk from formula or from the mother's diet) or other food sensitivity. True lactose intolerance, known as galactosemia, is incompatible with life without a very special formula, and only takes place in about every 1 in 100,000 infants.

Just thought I would mention that. I'm not trying to change your mind about breastfeeding, but I just wanted to throw that out there because it's something that many parents have a mistaken understanding about (and sadly, many physicians do as well, so the misnomer gets perpetuated). Primary lactose intolerance is a very very rare condition for an infant, and it's a lifelong condition.

There's also something called a secondary lactase deficiency, and it's a temporary condition caused by intestinal irritation (again, usually caused by a milk protein sensitivity).

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in OB-L&D, Post partum, Nursery.

Love you! Wish you were delivering at my hospital :)

Birth plans are great, I don't see many and things go well anyway. Just remember we are there to help you and it's all about you (well, at least until the baby arrives, then you have to share the spotlight)

Best wishes for a healthy and safe delivery!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion