Public Breastfeeding

Nurses General Nursing

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In a discussion I had with my brother in law today (who is a future nurse!), I learned he is uncomfortable with public breastfeeding unless there is a blanket involved. I know some folks wouldn't even like it with a blanket! I strongly feel that, as nurses, we should be doing what we can to support and advocate for breastfeeding and shed it in a positive light. I couldn't believe that a health care professional would feel differently. Obviously, this is coming from the United States (sigh).

I'm someone that usually works to make people feel comfortable in situations, but if my baby needs to be fed and some guy doesn't like it, well then he doesn't have to look! My baby comes first. That's how I feel about it. Guys will say that we shouldn't expose our breasts because they are too sexual, then agree that breastfeeding isn't sexual, but still say that we should hide it.....I cannot follow the circular reasoning.

I want to raise sons who know that breasts, as sexually appealing as they may be to them when they are older, are made to feed babies. That a uterus carries babies and lady partss birth them. I believe that this gives men a truer, deeper respect for women and for all human beings ... our bodies are not just sex objects! I saw a funny T-shirt that said -- Breasts: Not just for selling cars anymore!

I wanted to see what other nurses thought about this, on a personal level as well as a public health level.

Specializes in Med/Surg; Critical Care/ ED.
That is too much for me too. I nursed two of mine into toddlerhood (probably this last one past 2 yrs the way thngs are going) but I quit nursing in public after 6 months because it was impossible to be discreet once they start twiddling your nipples, yanking your shirt up, etc. Blanket over the head?? FORGET IT, that was impossible after about 4 months. It's rare my toddler asks anymore, mostly it's just nap and bedtime for him but if we are out for the day and it gets to be naptime and he is staggering around bleary eyed he starts trying to yank my shirt up I either distract him or go to the bathroom. Yes, it sucks to have to feed him in the bathroom but there is no way I will subject the public to my toddler standing up and nursing. He is very territorial about my breasts and must touch them, caress them, etc and when he's doing it, I may as well be naked. BATHROOM stall for us!

I am SOOOO jealous of you! As a young mother with no support and no one picking up the phone EVER when I tried Le Leche, I was completely alone. My little guy went on a nursing strike when he was 6 months old and I was terrified he was going to starve. He was just more interested in looking around at that point than feeding, a nosy little thing! So I immediately went to bottles. When I tried next to BF him, he had grown a tooth in the meantime and bit me HARD. That was the end of that! I so wish I had had someone to guide me and help me. My son is now 14, but he has suffered all his life from chronic constipation and had HORRID ear infections until he was about 2 years old, which of course meant LOTS of antibiotics. No matter how much I tell myself that I did the best I could, even now I get flashes of guilt just wondering how much better things would have been for him if I had continued to BF him well into his first year, if not his second.

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Specializes in Public Health, DEI.
I am SOOOO jealous of you! As a young mother with no support and no one picking up the phone EVER when I tried Le Leche, I was completely alone. My little guy went on a nursing strike when he was 6 months old and I was terrified he was going to starve. He was just more interested in looking around at that point than feeding, a nosy little thing! So I immediately went to bottles. When I tried next to BF him, he had grown a tooth in the meantime and bit me HARD. That was the end of that! I so wish I had had someone to guide me and help me. My son is now 14, but he has suffered all his life from chronic constipation and had HORRID ear infections until he was about 2 years old, which of course meant LOTS of antibiotics. No matter how much I tell myself that I did the best I could, even now I get flashes of guilt just wondering how much better things would have been for him if I had continued to BF him well into his first year, if not his second.

My son stopped nursing at about the same time. Just decided he was finished one day. What I don't understand is why I didn't express milk for him. He'd still have reaped the benefits.

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okay, but to play devil's advocate here, what if i am out in public with my children who are not mature enough to separate out that a breast is used to feed a baby (but not always - let's not knock the women who chose not to breastfeed) and are thus forced to see you very openly and not discreetly feeding your baby? what about the comfort of me and my children and my choice on when they should or not see a breast or have the discussion about it?

there are many things that happen in the world wherein you will not be able to plan your discussion with your children. some discussions won't occur on a proscribed timetable. i hope, for your own sanity, you can find some acceptance for that. you won't always have a choice. you don't have to like it. you could say to your children that most mommys breastfeed babies because mom can and the baby was hungry. you don't even have to go into our culture's psycho-sexual relationship with the female breast, or choices for breastfeeding.

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there are many things that happen in the world wherein you will not be able to plan your discussion with your children. some discussions won't occur on a proscribed timetable. i hope, for your own sanity, you can find some acceptance for that. you won't always have a choice. you don't have to like it. you could say to your children that most mommys breastfeed babies because mom can and the baby was hungry. you don't even have to go into our culture's psycho-sexual relationship with the female breast, or choices for breastfeeding.

again, nice post. :)

you are right - my kids are 22, 20, 16 and 4 . . . . . one of the things i've loved is that we talk about things prior and as they come up. we will go for a walk and notice someone littering and we talk about that and how mean it is to litter our beautiful world. if the garbage isn't too gross, we pick it up and dispose of it. in the mall, i've had to explain that victoria's secret window with the view of the woman's butt in a thong or the lowcut bra with the breasts pushing up . . . .i talk to my daughter about how disrespectful that is to women and to my sons too. we've seen couples arguing in public and i talk about that. last summer there was a prolonged public physical and verbal fight between a man and woman that i had to explain to my 4 year old - it was out in front of our house - kinda hard to avoid initially since i was doing yardwork with my son. we live in a rural area and it takes forever for the police to get here. anyway grimmy - life offers us many many examples of things we need to discuss with our kids. and it usually happens when we don't plan for it.

life with kids . . . .gotta love it. :)

steph

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Okay, but to play devil's advocate here, what if I am out in public with my children who are not mature enough to separate out that a breast is used to feed a baby (but not always - let's not knock the women who chose NOT to breastfeed) and are thus forced to see you very openly and NOT discreetly feeding your baby? What about the comfort of me and my children and my choice on when they should or not see a breast or have the discussion about it?

That's why discretion should be used imo. That way both needs are met in the middle: mom gets to breastfeed and the mom with children too young to understand won't be exposed to something she doesn't want them to yet.

I'm generally curious here, what do your kids think breasts are for?

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Suzy as you gain experience as a parent, you will learn some of the BEST and most MEANINGFUL conversations with your kids will come spontaneously. And they may totally shock you with what they say ---- or how the conversations begin.

I will tell you right now: You are not going to be able to plan all of these "big talks" when YOU think they are appropriate, and these things will come up now and again, from the time they learn to talk. So, my advice is to be prepared ahead of time, and know how you will handle such things.

Unless you lock them up in a closet and keep them away from the world, they will be exposed to undue and inappropriate influences and situations from a VERY young age. You just can't shelter them from it---it happens.

I remember when my son came home from first grade singing, "I know what GAY is, I know what GAY is".... I was really taken off-guard that day. Turns out, he did know "partly" what being gay was---it simply prompted an earlier-than-I-planned conversation about gay relationships w/my son. Good thing I was ok with how I felt here and was able to handle it calmly and with a minimum of drama.

Be prepared now----your kids will come home "talking trash" from early-on, even if they go to all private schools and you control their every social venue. It happens, so you will have to deal. Be calm , comfortable to do this, and be ready. They will handle these things as well as you do.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I'm generally curious here, what do your kids think breasts are for?

they are infants still. Suzy has not had to have these talks w/them ....yet.

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I'm generally curious here, what do your kids think breasts are for?

Suzy's twins are babies - cute little babies. :)

steph

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Whoops Deb - we posted at the same time.:)

steph

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Specializes in Emergency Dept, M/S.
I am SOOOO jealous of you! As a young mother with no support and no one picking up the phone EVER when I tried Le Leche, I was completely alone. My little guy went on a nursing strike when he was 6 months old and I was terrified he was going to starve. He was just more interested in looking around at that point than feeding, a nosy little thing! So I immediately went to bottles. When I tried next to BF him, he had grown a tooth in the meantime and bit me HARD. That was the end of that! I so wish I had had someone to guide me and help me. My son is now 14, but he has suffered all his life from chronic constipation and had HORRID ear infections until he was about 2 years old, which of course meant LOTS of antibiotics. No matter how much I tell myself that I did the best I could, even now I get flashes of guilt just wondering how much better things would have been for him if I had continued to BF him well into his first year, if not his second.

I know how you feel! I didn't get the support I needed for my first 2 babies, and stopped nursing when I went back to work. No one told me that there are some GREAT double-breast pumps I could've used (and did with my 3rd child, before I left work for good), and that I didn't have to quit just because my baby got teeth or whathaveyou. I believe my older two would've benefitted TREMENDOUSLY, like my younger two did. My older ones were the only ones that had constant ear infections and colds, and both ended up with ear tubes several times. I think breastfeeding was a big part of avoiding that with my younger ones.

I didn't like the LLL group around here, because they were very "anti-work" for nursing mothers, so I didn't go to them for advice. (They didn't "get" that most working mothers don't have a choice.) I have a good friend that loves her LLL group. I wished there was a more accepting one around here for nursing moms, though there may be now. It's been 7 years now since I've checked.

But I know there are fantastic lactation consultants on staff and call 24/7 for all nursing moms at the local hospitals, whom you can call whether you delivered at that hospital or not. I remember even calling a CNM for advice while visiting my mom in Cincinnati one time, because I had a hugely engorged breast (a mastitis), and on the verge of infection. She put me in contact with a really nice consultant, who was glad I called, even though I was only visiting and not a pt. of theirs. They really are an awesome resource!

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I breastfed my son for nine months. I remember the first time I fed him in public. We were at a restaurant and I went to the restroom to get him latched on and cover myself with a blanket. I walked back out to my table and sat down. Now I had a blanket over myself and my poor baby's head, and I still had people gawking at me! It was awful! After that, I pumped my milk to bring with me when we went somewhere. The strange thing is,(some)men think it is inappropriate to see a woman using her breasts for their intended purpose, but have absolutely no problem staring at a well endowed woman in a tight shirt.....go figure! :angryfire

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

Mary, your future nurse bil's attitude doesn't surprise me. It bothers me, but my experience with nurses and my classmates in nursing school is they are not always on the forefront of social attitudes or unfortunately even health practices. Despite what we are taught, many absolutely do not separate their own prejudices and cultural biases out when providing care or dealing with customers. Multiculturalism (and I would put angst about breasts under the umbrella of culture) is also something that is mostly just paid lip service. I think it is fine to need more knowledge or experience, but too many people think they know everything already. Like the blanket! Excuse me, but I am a mom of 6 breastfed babies. A blanket makes things so much LESS modest! If you use a blanket, everyone knows you are nursing. Plus, all my babies have absolutely refused to be under a blanket and pull it off, exposing (oops!) a very bare breast. If it's just the concept that bothers people, well they need to get over that. Their hangups about breasts are not my problem. Why do men somehow get to decide my breasts are sex organs anyway? The only time I was embarrassed nursing in public was at Disneyland. My son was having a meltdown waiting to go into the haunted mansion, so I had to nurse him in line. A teenage boy just watched (and very closely indeed) the entire time! That was embarrassing just because he was so obviously oozing hormones out of all his pores. Most people turn away if they figure it out, most don't figure out what's going on at all.

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