Pt.'s partner asked to have intercourse with a stoma !

[NurseLoveJoy88]

Last night we had an ostomy nurse lecture us and she told us this story: One day she had a pt. who undergone an ARP ( rectum taken out and orifice sutured shut), and she proceeded to tell the man's partner that they will no longer be able to have intercourse rectally. The homosexual couple was distraught, and then the pts. partner asked if he could have intercourse with the man's stoma.:banghead::banghead:When she first told us this it just went over my head, then it settled in and we were all like... ewww. My question is as a nurse how do you handle situations like these. I know its not good to make faces and especially not to judge, but if a pt.s partner asked me, I honestly wouldn't know what to say. I know I'll show respect and empathy, but I'll be lost for words.

[heron, ASN, RN]

'Tisn't outre ... it's normal sexual activity for many gay male as well as straight couples. If rectal intercourse is normal to him, then the question of using the "replacement" for a similar purpose is perfectly reasonable.

Perhaps the goal was to get students to really look at what they consider "normal" and how that colors their reactions.

[John20]

Grossest thing i've heard in a looooongggg time!

[nghtfltguy, BSN, RN]

first off.... EWWWWWW!!!!

i would be biting my tongue trying not to laugh in his face.... and show concern that this is a real issue with him and his partner... then i would explain how sensitive a stoma is and how easy it would be to cause a severe infection and other complications that would eventually require further surgery and could even cause the pt to die of sepsis... * the whole while i would be thinking... hmm... you could fit your member in a stoma??*

i would then suggest maybe that they get themselves some toys or something to help compensate for the sex life that they can no longer have....

i just asked my girlfriend about this... she is also a nurse... and she said that is the sickest thing ever!!!....

either way... if someone asked me about that i would sure have to put on my poker face to act professional!!!..... ewwwwwwww!!!!

[Jean1313]

A nurse I work with had a similiar experience. She had a pt come to her previous floor with a stoma. According to this nurse, there was a very foul smell coming from it. They ended up taking some specimens, and it returned positive for an STD. As it turned out, this pt had been prostituting herself.

This may be something that nurses start to see more of. I think that it's good that we are aware of what's going on in the world so that we can encourage open discussion and provide a comprehensive education to our patients.

[gentle]

A nurse I work with had a similiar experience. She had a pt come to her previous floor with a stoma. According to this nurse, there was a very foul smell coming from it. They ended up taking some specimens, and it returned positive for an STD. As it turned out, this pt had been prostituting herself.

I just heard the same thing yesterday.

[SonicnurseRN]

ROFLMAO!!:chuckle

[Nurse_Hagatha]

What a sick world this is sometimes.

[GadgetRN71, ASN, RN]

I would try my damndest not to appear judgemental and would try to educate the pt and SO as to why this might not be a good idea.

Inwardly, though, I'd be doing this:barf02:I think as long as you don't force your viewpoint on a patient, you are entitled to be privately grossed out. I'm not a homophobe either...I don't get the whole anal sex thing (for heterosexuals or homosexuals)to be honest..To me, that orifice is EXIT ONLY..But this is MY opinion, so I would never let a patient know I felt this way.

[leslie :-D]

She had a pt come to her previous floor with a stoma. According to this nurse, there was a very foul smell coming from it. They ended up taking some specimens, and it returned positive for an STD. As it turned out, this pt had been prostituting herself.

oh my....

prostituting for stoma sex??

i wonder how much stoma jobs are these days...

leslie

[rouqie]

I would have them talk to a sex therapist or talk to a mental health specialist. Also I would tell them that their are other ways to have get sexually aroused beside having intercourse. I have seen and heard about so may different sexual things that nothing is suprising to me anymore.

[justiceforjoy]

That question wouldn't phase me a darn bit. They just had a very important aspect of their relationship ripped away from them. Of course they're going to look for alternative ways to compensate; he sees a warm, moist entrance to the body... You can't be that surprised about it, can you?

But in answer, I'd suggest against it due to the sensitive nature of the intestines and the unknown reaction that the stoma might have to the activity. Then suggest they see a counselor or sex therapist to help find some alternatives.

[nminodob]

Sorry - but I classify this story along with those "gerbil in rectum" tales - perhaps there is some truth to them, but they describe a minute fraction of the patient population and are usually endlessly repeated just for shock value and to justify viewing gay men as freaks. Depending upon the location, many ostomies are continually oozing, often smelly, and exude substances that cause tissue breakdown - and the person who is familiar with these facts and yet still thinks it is a reasonable alternative to a rectum for sexual entry would have to be nuts. I know a whole lot of gay men, and none of them fit this description!