pt abuse vs pt satisfaction

brookorrn · Jul 30, 2007

Unfortunately, so many people in this world mistake kindness for weakness. The only thing that I could suggest to you, is to remember that despite their abusive language and motions, if you continue to show kindness to them, they have to live the rest of their lives knowing they did this to you. But you don't want to have live the rest of your life wondering if what you said or did to THEM caused them any life-long repercussions, so kindness, although it may be hard, is always the best choice. And I have seen it so many times in my life, that being kind to some of the most horrible people in this world will actually pan out. You may find the best friend you could possibly ever have in one of those horrible people, just because you showed them kindness when they "didn't deserve" it. Hang in there and count to 90 if you have to. You can do it!:sofahider:selfbonk::innerconf

ERJUNKIE4LIFE · Jul 30, 2007

I'm sorry that I have no words of wisdom to offer. Like you, I am very frustrated with how the system works. I can't walk into their place of employment, wherever that might be and act like some of these people do. This behavior is condoned I feel like from administration and all it does is allow the pt to act like a jerk or even a bigger one the next time they come in. It irritates me to no end. It's these people most of the time that do not need to be in an ER. Take your drug seeking ass to goddamn rehab or get into a pain management program. I like to refer to the healthcare system now a days. As Walt Disney Healthcare. Where you are to smile and whatever else "Press Gainey" has declared gold standard in getting higher pt satisfaction rates. Please come in one night and do my job. Let me see how much you're smiling @ the end. Everything is about the satisfaction. How fast you get people back, (They are not dying in the waiting room @ 3 in the morning with their cold sym x a week) leave them out there and wait maybe they will think twice about coming in instead of going to their pcp. Sometimes I feel pt care is compromised because of this. My favorite is the family member who raises hell about whatever they feel like. Either I've wasted time aruging with them or I have to get the charge nurse involved because I obviously can't do anything right according to them. I've only been a nurse a year and a half and like you love the ER. I can't see myself doing anything else. But everyday I become more frustrated @ the way things are handled. But I know why so many nurses have their license and are not @ the bedside. It's not worth it. I hope some good advice comes across this because I want to be in the ER. I just don't know how much more I can tolerate.

brookorrn · Jul 30, 2007

I'm sorry that I have no words of wisdom to offer. Like you, I am very frustrated with how the system works. I can't walk into their place of employment, wherever that might be and act like some of these people do. This behavior is condoned I feel like from administration and all it does is allow the pt to act like a jerk or even a bigger one the next time they come in. It irritates me to no end. It's these people most of the time that do not need to be in an ER. Take your drug seeking ass to goddamn rehab or get into a pain management program. I like to refer to the healthcare system now a days. As Walt Disney Healthcare. Where you are to smile and whatever else "Press Gainey" has declared gold standard in getting higher pt satisfaction rates. Please come in one night and do my job. Let me see how much you're smiling @ the end. Everything is about the satisfaction. How fast you get people back, (They are not dying in the waiting room @ 3 in the morning with their cold sym x a week) leave them out there and wait maybe they will think twice about coming in instead of going to their pcp. Sometimes I feel pt care is compromised because of this. My favorite is the family member who raises hell about whatever they feel like. Either I've wasted time aruging with them or I have to get the charge nurse involved because I obviously can't do anything right according to them. I've only been a nurse a year and a half and like you love the ER. I can't see myself doing anything else. But everyday I become more frustrated @ the way things are handled. But I know why so many nurses have their license and are not @ the bedside. It's not worth it. I hope some good advice comes across this because I want to be in the ER. I just don't know how much more I can tolerate.

I have only worked in the ER as an EMT-D on my down-time from the ambulance, so I cannot say that I understand what you are going through there.......but on the other hand........I worked for years in a prison setting as a caseworker. My whole job revolved around "helping" the inmates, so I do understand how frustrating it can be to deal with upset family members, beligerant "customers" and absolutely no appreciation for the time or effort one takes in making another person's life better. Trust me, there were times that I wanted to fly off of the handle (and did, for that matter) and at the time it felt great. You can still be cordial to someone, yet show them that what they are doing or saying is not correct. And sometimes that may mean making them wait a while, etc. I hope you two figure out a solution to your problems, it is hard enough to find a job one adores, let alone having to be chased off from that job due to "customer" behavior. I feel for you.......I really do. I know that our jobs are on two separate spectums, but the stress and treatment is the same. Hang in there! :banghead:

luvschoolnursing, LPN · Jul 30, 2007

I never did ER. Did med surg for many years though. I have walked out on patients who are verbally abusive, cursing, screaming at me. I have told them "I am here to help you and i want to help you, however, my own husband would not speak to me this way and you are not permitted to either. When you can be civil to me, I will gladly come back in and do whatever you need." This usually (not always) worked. Often, I would even get an apology, at which point I would say, "It's quite alright, I know you are under a lot of stress right now, lets just start this relationship over." Hope this helps.

oramar · Jul 30, 2007

I never did ER. Did med surg for many years though. I have walked out on patients who are verbally abusive, cursing, screaming at me. I have told them "I am here to help you and i want to help you, however, my own husband would not speak to me this way and you are not permitted to either. When you can be civil to me, I will gladly come back in and do whatever you need." This usually (not always) worked. Often, I would even get an apology, at which point I would say, "It's quite alright, I know you are under a lot of stress right now, lets just start this relationship over." Hope this helps.

I like this answer. It does not advise anyone to put up with abuse. Puts the nurse in the driver seat.

teeituptom, BSN, RN · Jul 30, 2007

After all my decades in this field, the last 2 in ER. I have no great words of wisdom for you. Do not empower the PIA, and drug seekers, and other manipulators with the power to get to you. Take your victories where and when you can and treasure those. I love those pts who say thank you Tom and Give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Empower them instead. Just smile at the others. Dont engage the others.

Isnt worth it.

time4meRN · Jul 30, 2007

Thank you all soooo much for your input, (and not judging my spelling, I was really worn out), . I really know all of things everyone told me, it's just that sometimes -even after 25 years of critical care-I need a little emotional boost from others that go through the same things. My husband is an aircraft mechanic, the air craft parts are patient about their wait time, they don't ask for dilaudid, they don't cuss at him and they don't fill out pres gainy forms. Sooooo, as with other people, unless you deal with this on a daily basis it's difficult to understand. So any way thanks for the ear.:smackingf

Becca608 · Jul 31, 2007

I never did ER. Did med surg for many years though. I have walked out on patients who are verbally abusive, cursing, screaming at me. I have told them "I am here to help you and i want to help you, however, my own husband would not speak to me this way and you are not permitted to either. When you can be civil to me, I will gladly come back in and do whatever you need." This usually (not always) worked. Often, I would even get an apology, at which point I would say, "It's quite alright, I know you are under a lot of stress right now, lets just start this relationship over." Hope this helps.

Great advice!

allnurses Guide · Jul 31, 2007

I had a fellow sitting in the waiting room talking very audibly on his cell phone, while sitting next to a 10 or 11 yo boy and a woman (family?). He couldn't get out a sentence without using "f" and "sh" every third word. I was getting a patient nearby who took a while to get his stuff together to follow me into the ER, so I had to listen to this, finally I just looked at him and said "Sir, you are in a public place". He never looked at me, but got up and left to continue the conversation outside, and the woman started smiling.

As for the rest, I just keep telling myself "Jesus died for that person", so there must be something redeemable about him.

EmmaG, RN · Jul 31, 2007

I'm an er nurse. I love to be busy, I love critical patients and I even like the pt's that have minor things wrong but really need a kind word or tlc for their injury or illness that may not be an emergency in the ER nurses eyes but is tragic for them. But any way, now that I got all the fluffy stuff out of the way, the nitty - gritty is , I'm sick of trying to do back breaking , emotionaly draining care of pt's that call us every name in the book, threaten to complain if you don't do exact. what they want. (usually involves a upset about a long wait, or narcotics). The other night a pt took hold of a nurses colar, pt's were calling us names I wouldn't call my dog, pt's were a pain in the A#&. I ended up telling one pt, I have to take care of you, keep you safe and provide appropriate medical care but I don't have to smile, be nice or fluff your pillow. I was tiered , fed up with the abuse verbal etc. But, if I keep talking like that to pt's It will lead to problems , because of the God all mighty Pres Gainy. When are hospitals going to tell pt's that nurses will not be treated that way. I swear if these people whent up to the admin offices and talked to the ceo that way they would be escorted out. But some how it;s ok to talk to us that way. Need some words of wisdom and some ideas how to maintain serenity .

No, it is not ok. What you describe is assault. Call the police, have them charged, arrested, and escorted out. Maybe then they'll finally get the message.

I'm so fed up with this I could simply scream.

woody62, RN · Jul 31, 2007

I would like to present a slightly different perspective. In the 70s I worked in the ER of one of the largest NYC H & H Corp. hospital's. I got all types of patients, from critical to minor. I also occasionally got sworn at but never got physically attacked. The last four years I have been a frequent visitor to my community hospitals ER. Generally, I am seen and treated within ten minutes of my arrival. I generally go to the hospital for an asthma attack. Aside from requiring an immediate neubulizer, I need an IV line and bloods drawn. One time I was seen by an RN, who preceded to attempt to start an IV on me. I told her I was a hard stick and suggested a site for her to attempt. She ignored me, and stuck me in the back of my hand, blowing thru a vein and out the other side. She continued to dig around the back of my hand, causing me a great deal of pain. I asked her nicely to stop what she was doing and withdraw the needle. She ignored me. I asked her again, slightly louder and more forcefully. She continued to ignore me. The third time, I yelled, telling her if she didn't stop immediately, I was going to slap her. That got two nurses and a doctor into the room and her out. I told the doctor what had happen and what I had threatened and why. I never would have hit her but it took a threat to force her to stop digging around in the back of my hand.

I share this because just as there are abusive patients, there are abusive nurses. Nurses who believe that they are in complete charge and do not listen to the patient. Obtaining care is a two way street. Patients coming in are frequently afraid and scared. And sometimes act unreasonably. But there are also nurses who believe they rule and any patient better watch out.

Woody