Problem with work environment

[Flossy73]

Hi everyone, yesterday I was in charge on the afternoon shift with two other nurses. A male nurse did not like my allocation because he wanted the lightest load. So he began telling me that I should have the heaviest patient list. I explained that I was in charge and it was my decision to allocate. This nurse carried on getting in my face and then he went out and told the other staff that I was unfair etc. The day before he asked if I could swap his patient with mine as his patients family were anxious and would ask him questions. Mine was a incompliant verbally abusive patient. So I agreed with him but when he found out that this person was going to have infusions etc he wanted to swap again for a light load. The other staff made comments about me that I shouldn't say im in charge and began to give me the cold shoulder. I cried and walked off the ward wanting to leave. This male nurse disappears for extended breaks, he did not back me up when I was faced with a aggressive man. In fact he said I will be back just going to make a cup of tea. I cried in front of him and apologised for making him upset instead. At the moment I feel like leaving because the other nurses are ignoring me because I dared try to do my job as shift charge. Im trying hard not to get emotional or cry. I feel ashamed that I showed my feelings and I feel railroaded by my work mates. I've always been a good nurse and cared about my workmates. But feel like walking out. To top it off that nurse asked to change patients again one hour into the duty because mine refused everything. I feel like why be in charge of you can't make decisions and try to run the ward properly. I don't think I can cope with being excluded. This nurse has been on the ward for almost ten years and im only 18 months. The culture is very laid back, nurses don't answer bells, have 2 hourly breaks, healthcare assistants sit on the internet most of the shift and are verbally abusive toward some of the quieter nurses. Patients complain that no one is on time to give them pain meds etc. It's hard to go against this environment to improve things.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Yeah, you know why the 10 year nurse isn't in charge and you are? Because being in charge sucks in many ways and he has gotten used to a codependent environment where he doesn't have to carry the responsibilities of charge but essentially still calls all the shots. This is a toxic work environment where you have one abusive idiot and a bunch of simpering twits that enable his behavior. Usually when relatively new nurses are put in charge its because the ones that have been there a while wouldn't touch the position. In this case it sounds like the Nurse Manager made her problem (the idiot) and his antics your problem. Nurses allow this to happen to them all the time. Tell her to park her charge nurse position up her fanny & start looking for a way out of this hellhole where nurses don't answer call lights, don't support each other and put up with stuff they shouldn't. Our careers are up to us. In this case you can choose to join the codependent victims and get used to felling victimized and buy lots of tissue for crying or move on to a better environment. This one ain't changing this guy has been playing this scene fulltime for 10 years it will most likely continue another 10.

[guest52816]

I completely agree with the other posters who have told you to stop crying in front of your co-workers, stop apologizing for doing your job (as Charge) and start looking for another job.

Frankly, what you describe as "laid-back" came across as unprofessional, unsafe and not a place I would want to work at (or be a patient)!

The poster who stated there was a reason why the nurse with 10 years experience who whined and complained about his assignment is not named Charge. That nurse is lazy and a complainer. Not good qualities in a Charge.

Get a backbone, stand by your decisions, don't pay attention to those toxic co-workers, brush-up your resume and move on!

Best wishes. And a BIG hug.

[NICU Guy, BSN, RN]

You teach people how to treat you. If you act like a door mat, then they will treat you like a doormat. Next time he whines about his assignment, go down to the nursery and grab a pacifier. Bring it back to him and say "If you are going to continue to whine and throw a temper tantrum about your assignment, suck on this and maybe it will make you feel better."

[chacha82, ADN, BSN]

Hi everyone, yesterday I was in charge on the afternoon shift with two other nurses. A male nurse did not like my allocation because he wanted the lightest load.

No, just no. The shortest sentence is the best one. "Here is your patient assignment." And carry on with your duties. He wants to engage, don't let him. You don't owe anyone an explanation and don't feed into the drama. Write him up when he violates policies and procedures. If he comes to you looking for a fight, just defer him to the boss. "Please speak to our manager if you have questions about that." He sees you as a "hole" in the system. Don't let him. Stand tall.

[Flossy73]

Thank you all.

[HalfBoiled, BSN, RN]

When you are a charge nurse:

1. Never Cry

2. Never Apologize

3. Never bend over because your coworkers ask for a lighter assignment

Your coworkers want easy days and will try to sweet talk you or be aggressive.

You assert yourself and say no.

Swallow your emotions and be firm.

If they complain about their assignment, tell them these lines:

- "Are you not qualified enough to care for this patient?"

- "What is the rationale for me to switch with a different nurse?"

- "I have seen you taken care of patient A,B,C,D,E. What has happened yesterday that would warrant a change in assignment?"

Having your coworkers explain outloud would make themselves look lazy and they would eventually stop asking or whining.

I have seen senior nurses ask for the easier patient team and leave the heavier patients to newer nurses. Thus, causing a turnover rate. But that is a different topic.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

Moved to Pt/Colleague Relations

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Yeah it is often the senior nurses who are at the root of a rotten culture on a unit. In this example the imbecilic nurse has been there for 10 years pulling the nonsense described above. Further, his fellow nurses and nurse manager have watched this act go on year after year without intervention. I've had senior nurses pull the "I'm old give me a light assignment" line of nonsense during my years of being a charge nurse in an ER. My response was usually something like "well its time to consider retirement or moving to a different position". If you show up for work be ready to do your part. If you can't do that stay home

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

So the guy wanted to change assignments three shifts running? The answer is "NO." That's a complete sentence.

Assignments should never be changed unless there's a very good reason -- and not just because someone makes a habit of complaining about his assignment. I've changed assignments when the nurse was Vietnamese and the patient had a history of being in a POW camp in Viet Nam and kept having flashbacks, when the patient was a racist judge from New Orleans who elected to have his cardiac surgery done in western Wisconsin because he "didn't want a (you know the nasty word I mean) touching him -- because I didn't want my colleague subjected to his ugliness, and when a middle-aged male person persisted in "accidentally" touching the breasts of any female nurse under the age of 70. And there was this one time when a patient with a GSW was admitted, and I assigned him to the float nurse who happened to be his wife. (He was shot in the posterior by the husband of the woman he was "with" while his wife was working the night shift.)

Pissing and moaning about your assignment is unprofessional. So is crying. And so is apologizing for making a fair and balanced assignment when someone wanted to get by with less work.

I agree with some of the previous posters who have said you're not ready to do charge yet.

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

So the guy wanted to change assignments three shifts running? The answer is "NO." That's a complete sentence.

Assignments should never be changed unless there's a very good reason -- and not just because someone makes a habit of complaining about his assignment. I've changed assignments when the nurse was Vietnamese and the patient had a history of being in a POW camp in Viet Nam and kept having flashbacks, when the patient was a racist judge from New Orleans who elected to have his cardiac surgery done in western Wisconsin because he "didn't want a (you know the nasty word I mean) touching him -- because I didn't want my colleague subjected to his ugliness, and when a middle-aged male person persisted in "accidentally" touching the breasts of any female nurse under the age of 70. And there was this one time when a patient with a GSW was admitted, and I assigned him to the float nurse who happened to be his wife. (He was shot in the posterior by the husband of the woman he was "with" while his wife was working the night shift.)

Pissing and moaning about your assignment is unprofessional. So is crying. And so is apologizing for making a fair and balanced assignment when someone wanted to get by with less work.

I agree with some of the previous posters who have said you're not ready to do charge yet.

Maybe it's just my twisted sense of humor, but that's funny. I'm thinking the wife might've liked the opportunity to be assigned to the jerk.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

She probably would but the guy already got shot. He don't need stabbed too

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Maybe it's just my twisted sense of humor, but that's funny. I'm thinking the wife might've liked the opportunity to be assigned to the jerk.

She might have -- apparently this wasn't the first time he was caught by a husband while she was at work.