Pregnancy: Before or After Nursing School

Stephalump · Jun 2, 2012

Ok different perspective.
I am an only child of a single mother (not quite your situation but stay with me here). I had a father-type figure around when I was a kid for quite a while. My mom chose to go back to school when I was around 4 years old. I can tell you it was not easy for us. It was not easy for her, it was lonely for me. My mother is full of regret about my childhood and about the way things panned out, latch-key kid, spending evenings by myself, having neighbors take me to my softball practices, often looking out at an empty seat at the school play, or holding my grandmothers hand at a parent teacher conference. Looking back it wasn't so horrible but it was crippling for me as a kid. My mother had to work full time to support us and her education was stretched out over an even longer period of time because she had to go to school part-time in order to be able to work.
Your situation is obviously different because you aren't a single mum (although it unfortunately slaps a lot of women in the face unexpectedly). It's still tough on kids. When they need you the most during their formative years, you're off at school AND work and they're spending time with relatives or at daycare.
Also, by the time you're done having kids and have yourself in a position to start school again, BSN's might be the new standard. Things are already heading that direction. Why not just get an ASN NOW, and possibly continue your education after you have kids. This way you already have the credential to fall back on if you want to do part time or casual work while you rear them.
What does your husband do? Does he have stable reliable work? Do you? Whats the future job market look like for both of you? If you have kids and he becomes unemployed...do you have a mortgage to pay? Lots of debts to pay off? Its not just a question of what will be best for you but what you will be able to do if push comes to shove.
I know from experience, it's much harder to push with a kid and an exam and a mortgage and an alarm set for 4:45 to get yourself to work in the morning.

My mother was a stay at home mom until my step father left us one day...I was 15 and my brother was 11.

My mom had her degree in education from years ago, but never taught, never had a desire to teach. She started medical school soon after graduating, and then had me and dropped out.

So, fast forward 15 years...she decided to become a nurse. The shortage was just starting to be predicted and it wasn't all that difficult to get into programs.

I hardly remember seeing her for the next 3 years. She decided to focus on making B's rather than stressing out over A's and losing more time with us, but we still felt severely neglected. I remember being dropped off on clinical days at school at 6:15 in the morning when school didn't start until 8am. We'd just sit under the awning, waiting for the janitor to unlock the doors at 7am. Lots of dinners alone. In fact, that's about the time my now husband and I had a little too much unsupervised time and our son was conceived

Looking back, I know it was a dire situation and she did the best she could, but it wasn't just her sacrifice - it was ours, too. Just like when she graduated and always had 2 night jobs working 6 12s a week. It was hard on all of us.

Obviously not OPs situation, but I'm reminiscing :)

chevyv, BSN, RN · Jun 2, 2012

Since you asked I will tell you what I think..... I would wait to start a family. You can have children now and hope they sleep well, aren't sick, and daycare is not a worry. Or you can wait put all of your efforts into school and focus entirely on that. As a mom, my children come first, period. I went part time in an ADN program so I could be there for them and it was not easy. If they are up sick, you will be too. Even if your husband takes over, you won't sleep. If they are grumpy, you need to be there. When you try to study and they need you, you can't ignore the banging and crying for 'momma' on the door. They will need you for a pretty long time. When school days come for them, you better hope they don't struggle. One of mine did and let me tell you helping him was much more important. You will not be number one anymore, ever.

#1ME · Jun 2, 2012

I began the nursing program when my son was only 7 weeks old. Luckily, he was a good baby, and my mother helped me out a lot. It wasn't hard at all.

JJCakesVN · Jun 2, 2012

I'm a VN so I'm not sure how helpful I can be but I graduated nursing school 7 months pregnant. Another girl had her baby and and came back to school a week later. I don't know how she did it. I was glad I didn't have my son before graduation. It took a lonnng time for me to finally have the time to study for my NCLEX. It would be hard to be pregnant, or with a new born, while in nursing school but it can be done as it has been done by many before you. Sometimes we try to plan these things out and God has his own plans, at least for me he did

Twinmom06, ASN, APN · Jun 2, 2012

getting your A1c under control to get pregnant (and sustain a healthy pregnancy) can take 6 months or more to do (been there and done that)...I suggest you get into your endocrinologists office and have a LONG talk with him/her about insulin control during pregnancy...I'm on a pump (and have been since before my pregnancy) - if you're not on one, I suggest it highly! Made my life so much easier - I was going through nearly 300 units per day during my pregnancy - which would have amounted to 10 shots a day...

I had a very healthy pregnancy and gave birth to twins! Best of luck in your journey - my twins are now 6 and I have a year to go in my ADN program...I didn't have them until I was 32 so it is doable!

melmarie23, MSN, RN · Jun 3, 2012

since you are planning on an accelerated Bachelors, I suggest timing children for during your pre-reqs (where its more manageable with a newborn) or timing it for the end of your accelerated program/post graduation from that.

I completed a direct entry Masters program (also accelerated). I was in a similar position as you...26 turning 27, husband 28, turing 29 and baby fever in full effect. We started trying when we knew that should we get pregnant right away, that I'd deliver after graduation. Our son came 3 weeks after commencement. :-P

ETA: I found my first nursing position 4 months after having him. Not my dream position, but I landed that 7 months after he came. Worked per diem at both, until I gave up the first (non-desired) position just shy of him turing a year.

Thankfully so, because I was also about 2 months pregnant with our second by then.

If you take the time to plan accordingly, things just have a way of falling into place as they should. Best of luck to you!

anonymousstudent · Jun 3, 2012

You will be nurse for a few decades - a parent for your entire life. There is absolutely nothing that comes before your family and children. You can drop out and re-enter, or start over if you need to.

Many of my classmates have had children throughout the program, at various stages (including me!) Not one of us has dropped out or had any problems. It's not easy, but it's not something to stress about either. Take it as it comes, and make your decisions as time goes on. No use stressing about it when you don't know what will happen.

GL dear.

Katie71275 · Jun 3, 2012

If it were me in your place, I'd go for it. I have a BA in Sociology and had 2 children thoughout my college career...Course I was young, my first being born at 19 and my second at 21. I had no problem with doing my school work and graduated on time. And I was also taking harder courses(micro, A&P, etc). My hubby and I have 4 children now(9, 7.5, 5.5, and 2.5) and I've been in nursing school for 9months now. It's hard work, and I definitely have to plan things, but it's doable and I maintain my B average so having kids and doing nursing school really isn't that bad!

MaumauMom · Jul 28, 2012

So much can happen between now and your prereqs getting done. If its possible work on controling your diabetes and have a baby. Prereqs alone took me one year and that's me going to school back to back including summer. Since you're going to keep working and take prereqs part time, I'm guessing it's going to take you at least 1 and half years. Having a baby is one thing, the nine months is probably the easiest compare to the new baby at home, sleepless night, and pure exhaustion that comes after the 9 months. If I could do it again, I would have had the baby ASAP while completing the prereqs and that way by the time you're in nursing school the child can be at least sleeping through the night. I am also considering getting pregnant, but I told my husband I might have to start my Accelerated program and start trying to have a baby 6 months before graduation. I don't mind prolonging working to have a baby, but I am not prolonging going to nursing school.

magn1jes · Jul 28, 2012

I haven't read through all of the responses but the ones I have, have been incredibly supportive, which thrills me!

I could have written this post myself a few years ago... I will tell you my story: I started school after having a miscarriage and deciding I wanted to be a nurse. I started school and got pregnant shortly after. I went to school full-time until the baby was born. School while pregnant wasn't a big deal since I wasn't working and could sleep whenever I wasn't in class or studying. After the baby was born, though, it was a whole new ballgame. I tried going back full-time after my son was 3 months old and it was just TOO much too soon. I dropped the majority of my classes and went part-time after that. School was much more difficult with a baby, but I pushed through and got it done. My instructors were also very supportive of me needing breaks during clinicals to pump. I am now looking for a casual job so I can continue to "stay home" with my son, and deciding whether or not to continue my education right away when we are starting to think about baby #2.

So, my advice: go for it! Have that baby! I can't imagine being done with school and still not being able to start a family because I need to get work experience. School will always be there... so will work.

GreenEyedPeas1 · Jul 28, 2012

I think that it is always a difficult decision when it comes to family vs school. I was pregnant before I started my program and sadly, it ended in MC. I decided to NOT try again and go on to nursing. It was a very difficult decision, but I know how I am and I would not want to take away time from my baby to be in class or at clinical all day. It would kill me to do that, so I am choosing to have children AFTER nursing. I think that you definitely could do it cause if there is a will there is a way. But it will definitely make the program more difficult. I know several people at my school that have children and I admire them. They do say it is extremely hard, though. Good luck with whatever decision you make!

alovelymother · Jul 28, 2012

I think that it's never the right time to have a baby. There will always be something that comes up. We will always need more time to prepare thins like careers, homes, saving more money. I think that if you and your husband feel like you want kids than now is as good a time as any. Truthfully it would be easier to take online prereqs than to try to handle ns pregnant. But I've seen it happen.