Kind of a weird situation, but I was at a party this weekend and (don't ask me why) the subject of shaving came up. One of the ladies is a hairdresser who does bikini and Brazilian waxes, and she said that she had a bunch of coworkers ask her to do Brazilians for them when they were pregnant because "the doctor/midwife told them to shave before the delivery".
???
I thought that pubic shaving before delivery went out of style 20-30 years ago. I even challenged this woman, asking if it wasn't just that these women were self-conscious and *chose* to be "bald" for their deliveries, rather than being "told to" do it by their OB/CNM. When I had my son 10 years ago, there was never any mention whatsoever about shaving from my midwife -- they didn't even shave me for my c-section. Another woman at the party has a 17yo and a 7yo and she was never told to shave by her OB. (all of these births happened in the same town, which only has two hospitals)
When I had knee surgery five years ago, I was very specifically told NOT to shave my leg for a week prior to the surgery, to minimize the chance of infection / microabrasions. I really did NOT want to go in there like a cactus, but at least I could understand the reasoning behind it.
I just truly cannot wrap my mind around this situation... it boggles my mind that anyone in this day and age would consider it "standard" or "necessary" to be shaved/waxed prior to the delivery. I know that more women than ever are shaving/waxing (pregnant or not) just as a personal grooming choice. A guy at the party said his stepmother has been an L&D nurse for eons and she had remarked a while back that shaving has become much more popular in the past 3-4 years.
But I just can't believe that there are OBs (and midwives! I *really* had a hard time believing that a CNM would say this!) out there telling women who are 8-9 months pregnant that they need to shave off their pubic hair before coming to the hospital, or else the hospital will shave it off when they get there.
I figure if anyone will know, it will be you folks here... is this really a standard procedure anymore???
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
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It's sad, really ... that so many people can't accept healty, clean human body as being OK. It's teaching young women that their genital area is not acceptable as nature made it -- even if it is cleaned and "groomed" a bit.
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I really have no problem with the fact that I see shaved/waxed women all the time at work, and I certainly don't judge them. I just think that men expecting it really, really bothers me.
Yes. Completely serious now-- it does bother me that so many younger women are saying that "men expect you to be shaved" and to take it a bit further, an acquiescent attitude of acceptance by the women. I'm not even really sure why it bothers me. . . realistically I prefer men without full beards, but I don't "expect" it. Maybe all the feminist literature I read in the '70s seeped into my subconscious mind. I never quite felt bras and high heels symbolized men's historical oppression of women, but I am very sensitive to any type of coercion, whether overtly stated or not.
Yes. Completely serious now-- it does bother me that so many younger women are saying that "men expect you to be shaved" and to take it a bit further, an acquiescent attitude of acceptance by the women. I'm not even really sure why it bothers me. . . realistically I prefer men without full beards, but I don't "expect" it. Maybe all the feminist literature I read in the '70s seeped into my subconscious mind. I never quite felt bras and high heels symbolized men's historical oppression of women, but I am very sensitive to any type of coercion, whether overtly stated or not.
I agree with you - and maybe it IS our '70's mindset so to speak.
My daughter is 20 and in college. She regularly tells me about some female friend or another who is being coerced into making unhealthy choices by their boyfriends. Recently she and some friends decided to head over to the park and have a "jamfest" . . . just sit in the sun and talk about their lives and enjoy the day. One young lady asked her boyfriend for permission . . . . and he said no. When she started essentially begging him, he grabbed her arm and started to pull her along with him. My daughter walked over, pushed him in the chest and told him to get his hands off her friend and don't ever try talk to her that way again and don't ever physically try to pull her away again. He backed off. This time.
There is a story in the news right now about a young woman, Yeardley Love, who was murdered, allegedly by her boyfriend, George Huguely. There were many signs of his control issues prior to the murder. Some other stories showcased about women putting up with crap from men were in the article I read. One text message from one story read "you are being ridiculous why can't I do something with my friends" . . from a young college woman to her boyfriend.
Now I am not saying this "grooming" issue is abuse. But you are right . . . there is something about the "expectation" . . . that bugs me.
My daughter is 20 and in college. She regularly tells me about some female friend or another who is being coerced into making unhealthy choices by their boyfriends. Recently she and some friends decided to head over to the park and have a "jamfest" . . . just sit in the sun and talk about their lives and enjoy the day. One young lady asked her boyfriend for permission . . . . and he said no. When she started essentially begging him, he grabbed her arm and started to pull her along with him. My daughter walked over, pushed him in the chest and told him to get his hands off her friend and don't ever try talk to her that way again and don't ever physically try to pull her away again. He backed off. This time.
steph
Good for your daughter! More young women need to feel empowered to stand up themselves. It worries me to read of so many young women who allow their boyfriends to have so much power over them. It's not healthy. And a man who insists that "his woman" have the body of a 9-year-old creeps me out, too. Not healthy.
Hahaha- "even men in their 30s expect little or no hair down there." I am well aware - this is my peer group. :grn: Reference "D-bag culture" in above postings Seeing the recent population explosion of members of this particular group of guys makes me happy to be married to my steak-eating, oil-changing, highly intelligent and respectful husband. I'm all for waxing or shaving, myself, but it is a personal preference. It's the coercion and expectations on the part of guys who should, in my opinion, consider themselves darn privileged enough to witness the lower hairstyle that I have an issue with. Especially an OB telling a pregnant woman that she must shave or wax before a delivery (and by the way, the amount of pain associated with waxing is closely tied to hormonal influences, so waxing during pregnancy seems like it would be torture).
What happened to guys being "lucky" to even get to the "area". Now it is expected to look a certain way or the girl isn't good enough? If a guy is that upset by the grooming/lack of grooming of my "area", trust me, he won't be going out with me again, NOR will he be getting any. I am so glad to have also married a steak eating, pick up truck driving, engine changing super smart Mr. fix it. (he is 35, btw, and I am 31.)
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
QUOTE=Spidey's mom;4309790] When she started essentially begging him, he grabbed her arm and started to pull her along with him. My daughter walked over, pushed him in the chest and told him to get his hands off her friend and don't ever try talk to her that way again and don't ever physically try to pull her away again. He backed off. This time.
Bravo steph's daughter!! :yelclap: There really isn't much better a feeling in life than to see your child demonstrate principled behavior when we'ne not around!--- I think I'm getting a little verklempt. . .my 20 year old daughter just shakes her head in bafflement and what her roommates do at times.
QUOTE=brillohead;. . .I've always thought that pantyhose were torture devices invented by men to irritate women.
I don't share this with many people, but pantyhose-avoidance is the real reason I went into nursing. I've been tempted to contribute to those "tell me your story-why did you choose nursing" threads, but I'm just too afraid that talking about that damnably too tight waist-band and saggy crotch area will prompt accusations that I went into nursing for "the wrong reason", and thus far have refrained. ;)
Bravo steph's daughter!! :yelclap: There really isn't much better a feeling in life than to see your child demonstrate principled behavior when we'ne not around!--- I think I'm getting a little verklempt. . .my 20 year old daughter just shakes her head in bafflement and what her roommates do at times.
I don't share this with many people, but pantyhose-avoidance is the real reason I went into nursing. I've been tempted to contribute to those "tell me your story-why did you choose nursing" threads, but I'm just too afraid that talking about that damnably too tight waist-band and saggy crotch area will prompt accusations that I went into nursing for "the wrong reason", and thus far have refrained. ;)
Pantyhose not required was one of the reasons I went into nursing, too. I am not the dress up/primping type. Scrubs, sneakers, and a pony tail suits me well.
Pantyhose not required was one of the reasons I went into nursing, too. I am not the dress up/primping type. Scrubs, sneakers, and a pony tail suits me well.
. . . . and he said no. When she started essentially begging him, he grabbed her arm and started to pull her along with him. My daughter walked over, pushed him in the chest and told him to get his hands off her friend and don't ever try talk to her that way again and don't ever physically try to pull her away again. He backed off. This time. 
Seeing the recent population explosion of members of this particular group of guys makes me happy to be married to my steak-eating, oil-changing, highly intelligent and respectful husband. I'm all for waxing or shaving, myself, but it is a personal preference. It's the coercion and expectations on the part of guys who should, in my opinion, consider themselves darn privileged enough to witness the lower hairstyle that I have an issue with. Especially an OB telling a pregnant woman that she must shave or wax before a delivery (and by the way, the amount of pain associated with waxing is closely tied to hormonal influences, so waxing during pregnancy seems like it would be torture).
If a guy is that upset by the grooming/lack of grooming of my "area", trust me, he won't be going out with me again, NOR will he be getting any. I am so glad to have also married a steak eating, pick up truck driving, engine changing super smart Mr. fix it. 
(he is 35, btw, and I am 31.)
;)
sharpeimom
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