Politely Refusing to Share Grades

Nursing Students General Students

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Now that I realize the importance of not sharing grades during NS, I am curious to know how you have told people that you didn't want to share your grade(s). It sounds as though your damned if you do and damned if you don't. It seems (from stories here) as if your grades are higher, lower, or not shared, they will find a way to talk smack about you...

So what is the best way of avoiding, or simply telling people you wish to not share your grade(s) with them, or anybody else?

Specializes in critical care, PACU.

"I did well"

"No, really what did you get?"

"I dont share my grades anymore because it puts unfair pressure on me and makes people competitive."

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In my dosage calc. class everyone was definately in everyone else's business concerning scores on tests. My instructor didn't help that either. I worked very hard in that class and ended up with the highest grade in the class, and when he would hand back exams, he would hand me my test and then say to the class "Here's the curve-buster"...great, thanks.

If anyone asked me directly, I would just tell them "My studying paid off and I did well". I don't understand the High School mentality behind all this grade curiosity and can only hope that once I am done with NS that the mentality is not so high school once I get a job.

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I don't get the whole hiding your grade thing. What's up with that? I'm an open book about my grade if someone is interested. I think people who ask are less interested in MY grade in particular than they are in figuring out where they fit in in comparison to others who took the test...average? above average? high? Many of my program's teachers don't post the test statistics, which imo is really what my fellow students are interested in.

I totally, totally, totally agree with you. But after reading so many stories about the negative effects of sharing your grades, I just don't want to get involved. And I didn't want to come right out and say "I don't want to tell you":chair:

The last thing I want to do is come across as a snob.

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Why is it "important" not to share grades in nursing school?

It is important to me because A. I Don't want people talking bad about me B. I don't want to be accused of cheating.

Like many people here I have really good grades (still pre nursing) I don't work, so school is my life from 8am to 5pm. I am the type of person that likes to avoid conflict. I am a SAHM turned stay-at-home-student so the only 'friends' I have are through school and I just can't imagine having a bunch of enemies over grades...that is so dumb. BUT, since there are people like that out there, and they wouldn't make good friends anyways, I want to be prepared when they ask and I don't want to say. I just don't want to be so blunt as to say "I don't want to tell you" that's just not me.

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Specializes in Maternal - Child Health.

I appreciate your answer.

I assumed that you were concerned about sharing grades because of some nonsense instructions from your teachers or program director. I am glad that is not the case.

I view grades much like age, weight, salary, home value, etc. None of these numbers are anyone else's business, but nor is it wrong to share the information if you wish to.

What a shame that success is viewed with such scorn by others, but we know that is sometimes the case. And it is not limited to adolescents or nursing students. You'll encounter that attitude in co-workers, neighbors, even people at the gym. Don't let them get you down, and don't ever apologize for your hard work!

Best to you!

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Specializes in LTC.
It is important to me because A. I Don't want people talking bad about me B. I don't want to be accused of cheating.

Like many people here I have really good grades (still pre nursing) I don't work, so school is my life from 8am to 5pm. I am the type of person that likes to avoid conflict. I am a SAHM turned stay-at-home-student so the only 'friends' I have are through school and I just can't imagine having a bunch of enemies over grades...that is so dumb. BUT, since there are people like that out there, and they wouldn't make good friends anyways, I want to be prepared when they ask and I don't want to say. I just don't want to be so blunt as to say "I don't want to tell you" that's just not me.

You worry waaaayyy too my much about what people think about you.

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You worry waaaayyy too my much about what people think about you.

I do care what people think about me, and there's nothing wrong with that. However,wanting to avoid conflict, and avoid haters who accuse others of cheating is not worrying "waaayyy" too much about what others think about me.

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Specializes in Maternal - Child Health.

One more thought, then I'm going to let this go: You mention that your instructor referred to you as the "curve buster" when he returned your test. I sincerely believe that he was trying to recognize your hard work, not give you a hard time.

I don't know your age, but I went to high school and college 20-25 years ago, when it was still acceptable (and expected) to recognize excellence in student performance. Not bash poor performance, but to praise excellence. My history teacher posted the names of the top 10 students in his sections on a weekly basis. We fought tooth and nail to see our names on that list. I graduated in a high school class of 400 and was recognized with 2 co-valedictorians, before it was deemed politically incorrect to do so. Likewise, I was recognized with 2 co-valedictorians of my nursing school class of 40. Those were 2 of the proudest moments of my and my parents' lives.

It is a shame that our society has twisted accomplishment so that instead of being the subject of admiration and pride, high performing students feel like they need to hide their success to avoid scorn. Athletes, musicians and other professionals certainly don't feel the need to do so. It's a shame that students do.

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Specializes in ER.

I just finished nursing school, and it was never a big deal. We all were pretty open about it. Everyone wanted reassurance. I haven't ready any stories about negative outcomes of sharing grades. I very often had the highest grade in the class, and nobody was ever not nice to me or anything. In fact, they often asked what I did, how I studied, etc. Maybe I missed all the negative outcome stories, but it's really just the personality of your class. I think once you get beyond first semester, everyone sort of comes together to survive rather than competing.

Yang

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Specializes in Telemetry/IMC.
I just finished nursing school, and it was never a big deal. We all were pretty open about it. Everyone wanted reassurance. I haven't ready any stories about negative outcomes of sharing grades. I very often had the highest grade in the class, and nobody was ever not nice to me or anything. In fact, they often asked what I did, how I studied, etc. Maybe I missed all the negative outcome stories, but it's really just the personality of your class. I think once you get beyond first semester, everyone sort of comes together to survive rather than competing.

Yang

https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-student/nursing-students-cs-355338.html

A lot of times, people like to make excuses for why they didn't do as well as others, and sometimes, it's insulting to those who do do well. (like saying, "oh she only does good in class because she has no other responsibilities")

And sometimes, you get people who like to talk about how they think they are smarter than everyone and they talk bad about you because you didn't do as well as others.

But there are instances where people just want reassurance, but nobody wants to give it because they don't want to deal with the rudeness of others and the demeaning of their efforts.

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I just finished nursing school, and it was never a big deal. We all were pretty open about it. Everyone wanted reassurance. I haven't ready any stories about negative outcomes of sharing grades. I very often had the highest grade in the class, and nobody was ever not nice to me or anything. In fact, they often asked what I did, how I studied, etc. Maybe I missed all the negative outcome stories, but it's really just the personality of your class. I think once you get beyond first semester, everyone sort of comes together to survive rather than competing.

Yang

Praise the Lord! That is the first time I have heard this. I know this might sound stupid because there is not always a correlation between age and maturity BUT at my school the general age is not low. I am the youngest person that I have met that is applying for my schools nursing program and I am 26. All of my friends are in their 30s and 40s. That said, I have never once felt any sort of animosity or awkwardness as a result of sharing my grades. I do honestly like being open amongst my friends, because we all do it. Nobody that I am not friends with has ever asked my grades. I also like to give and receive study tips, etc, after tests. That is usually why we all share our grades, to make sure we are all getting through this together!

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatrics, Wound Care.

I usually only care about the grades of the 'smart' people in class. There are always people that goof off, but I just like to know how the test _really_ was. The people in the class that spend all their time texting, then whine over how hard the test was don't surprise me. But, the people that seem to make an effort, and ask 'good' questions, those are the ones who's grades "count". I just like an idea of the range of good grades.

Sorry I don't have good suggestions for not sharing grades.. Honestly, it'd frustrate me a bit (I'd get over it). I'd also not discuss peoples grades with others, and definitely wouldn't bash good or bad grades.

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