Please I need advice!

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Today was my second day with my preceptor. Let me begin to say that my preceptor is not happy to train me. I heard my preceptor tell the nurse manager in the unit that she likes to work alone. I dont think she knows that I over heard her. Even worse, the nurse manager doesn't like me either, whenever my preceptor is not around I ask for her help, she tells me ask your preceptor. But, when I ask my preceptor she rolls her eyes and gets mad. Later on in my shift the nurse manager went up stairs to check on my schedule. She told my preceptor "yes she is coming tomorrow" my preceptor said "nooo, please don't put her with me" and the nurse manager started laughing at her. They thought i wasn't around. Therefore, I can't go up to the nurse manager to request a new preceptor because they are such good friends. I'm afraid that the nurse manager will tell my preceptor about my request and give me more hard time. I really don't know what to do or who to talk to. I'm feel so sad because I feel not wanted there, and it makes me feel bad. I really dont want to quit because it took me 2 years to get this job. On the other hand I feel that I'm not getting the proper training, and in 5 weeks i will be alone. Have you ever experienced something similar. Sorry for being such baby, but I really need advice. Thank you for reading my depressing story.

Yep, I see my bad, I misread article... sorry... To the OP, I hope you get this settled at your work place... Maybe things will get easier as time goes on.

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So much hostility.

Ok, precepting is not my favorite thing to do but I've been in those shoes many many times before and I feel like it is part of my job to help orient new people to the way things are. Now, this is not saying that a particular preceptor should be doing it all the time especially on a floor that has a high turnover rate. Ideally, you would rotate this role...but people gripe and moan and complain in nursing all the time no matter what. The high workload sucks, but that doesn't mean we should treat our new coworker with disdain. After all, they're the ones that will help with the patient load once they're off orientation.

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OP,

I don't have any advice for you, but just wanted to say I'm sorry you're in this situation. I love to precept.

Hugs to you, and good luck.

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Where I work, people choose to be trained to precept. If they choose to be one , they shouldn't ***** about it when asked to serve as one, as long as they are rotated appropriately and given a lesser patient assignment while they are training someone.

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Hmmm, its very scary for those of us coming into the profession if people will have to deal with emotional abuse to become competent. If the new person cant ask questions cos of an intimidating preceptor then whats the point of the training. Its better to ask any question now than assumptions which can be very costly to the employer as well as the patient. Remember she is new if am right first nursing job. Was the preceptor ever new as some point? If someone had not trained her she could not have been where she is at now. Its a shame they say nurses eat their young. Wish my fellow new nurse all the best in her learning. Whether she is asking same questions or not nobody knows that, if she is not willing to precept new grads she should tell her manager and get out of that role. Am sure the manager doesnt not push people to precept although am not sure how it works in diff hospitals tho. All the best Girl, it just an unfortunate situation. Now i would tell the manager i heard her telling her blah blah and that i feel like am burdening her which makes it diff to ask what you need to ask so if its possible to get you another person. If they kick you cos of that then i guess thats not a healthy environment to work anyway.

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Your preceptor was chosen for a reason. They clearly know what they are doing and are good at it. Sure, you can ask for a different preceptor but who knows what you will get. I precepted all the time at my old job (I'm a new nursing grad) and it's exhausting. Not only do you have to do all your work, you have to teach someone else (who may not have a great attitude about learning), pick up their slack, and typically get used at if the new employee does something wrong.

Some days I'd like to work alone too. And maybe your preceptor shouldn't have said out loud that she doesn't want you with her tomorrow. But you've also come on a VERY public forum complaining about her and saying that you don't want to be with her either so...

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Hang in there:). You may have to work side by side with your preceptor. Ask the charge nurse if you can have a different preceptor. If she ask you why, tell her you need someone who is patient so you will be able to learn the necessary skills to be on your own independently in 5 weeks.

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OP, I think you have a lot of emotional drama going on in your head that you need to nip in the bud. Yes, your preceptor and manager/charge/whoever said unprofessional things about you when they thought you couldn't hear.

You need to stop eavesdropping. It sounds like you are lurking around trying to hear what they think of you and you were unpleasantly surprised. People are usually nicer to your face than to your back.

You also need to focus on your professionalism. Even though your preceptor doesn't like you, it doesn't mean you can't work with her. And your manager/charge/whoever is not invested in you yet if you've only been there for two shifts, so don't expect her to automatically be your champion.

Frankly, your post sounds like you are anxious and insecure. I think you need to take a step back and think about things objectively. Take the emotional component out of your interactions, be professional, and see if that helps. If you go in with a sullen attitude, you are not going to get a positive response.

If, after reflection, you believe your preceptor really is out to get you and is acting unprofessionally, go to the unit manager and ask for advice. You may be able to get a new preceptor or your manager may be able to counsel the two of you and help you get along.

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Specializes in Occupational Health; Adult ICU.

Yup OP, you do sound anxious and insecure. Oh, wait, you're new at this type of nursing, hmmm.

When I switched from med/surg to ICU I was anxious and well, probably insecure too. My preceptor was named Rene and I, to this day cannot imagine a better one, she was simply supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. When I was eleven months into the ICU training, very near the end Rene went off to Ghana to do missionary nursing and I got a new preceptor.

You wrote: "But, when I ask my preceptor she rolls her eyes and gets mad." The second preceptor was named Liz. The oldest male nurse in the unit asked me at the beginning of my preceptorship: "Oh, your working with Liz, how long," I responded "about 15 minutes," he responded "has she made you cry yet?" Well she never did make me cry, but she almost killed me, and she rolled her eyes and yelled quite a lot, I seem to remember. Oh btw, it wasn't just my perception either, behind her back she was often called "Lizard." In fairness she was a dynamite ICU nurse and I wished that I could have managed to stay.

I've worked with five preceptors in my nursing career. One was the preceptor from Hell, the classic "eye roller," and "didn't they teach you anything at nursing school" (in a voice loud enough to hear a long way away). One preceptor was occasionally mean but we did work this out. Two were ok and one was very good. The 2dn ICU preceptor was a classic bully. One night I felt strange after being yelled at and after having a jugular veinous catheter "pull out" during a bed change. It did not make any difference to the stress level, nor would it have helped in the least to comment: "The cath is latched, the latch device is sewn to the patients neck--you do not see it torn, so it pulled out though the safety latch, thus the latch was never tight." So I did not, but later my BP was 220/140ish. The next day I gave notice and I'd still be there happily working ICU today had they corralled that bully nurse--their loss.

Nurse bullies are, IMHO, fairly common, do some research on it. So you're in a tough situation. The preceptor should have a lighter load and make an extra buck or two an hour for precepting but is not. The next nurse up expects you to suck it up. The answer is simple, either quit, or suck it up. As someone pointed out, it's day 2, and I think the best of us can be anxious and insecure for a few weeks or so till we get our legs (of course there are the super-nurses who are never anxious or insecure, I'm sure but I'm not one)

Another, and to toot my horn, excellent bit of advice is to get and read: "Odd girls out." I recommend it to any nursing student or new'ish nurse. You can get a copy on fleabay or half.com for a buck or two and I belive it will give you lots of insight and some of it might be very helpful.

Persevere, if you can, if not run and btw my BP has been just fine ever since I left ICU.

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