Please Help Me

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi. Some of you may have read in some of my other posts about my father. My father is 60 years old and and end-stage alcoholic. We have had him in 30 day programs and de-tox for 5 days, at least 2-3 times. He will improve and then slowly slip back into it. Now it seems he's addicted to ativan instead of the ETOH - same thing, same result.

What's bothering me and having me near tears is that my sister called me just a few minutes ago - and she told me that she went to a psychic who told her that our dad will die in a car accident r/t to his ETOH abuse before Christmas 2002. I tried to pass her off but as I'm sitting here trying to finish my paper that is due on Thursday, my mind keeps wandering back to this and I can't help but feel panicky inside. I don't want him to die, and naturally not from a car accident!! I love him soooo much I just wish he would get well - but it's beyond my control. I've done all I can for him - the rest is up to him.

The thing is, I can't concentrate on my schoolwork. I mean, should I listen to this psychic or not? I'm a wreck..please...what are your thoughts????:o :o

Suzy, I'm sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. I confess, I don't believe in psychic's either but I do believe in God and the power of prayer. Please join a group that can support you and look up. God's wisdom is above all and put your Dad in His hands. We cannot change the actions of others, no matter how much we want to or try. You must find a way to deal with this so it doesn't tear you apart. I have dealt with the alcoholic situation, though I won't bore you with the details. It's not YOUR fault and YOU cannot change it. I'm sending you a big hug and praying you find peace.

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Specializes in LDRP; Education.

I thank everyone for their words of support.

Last night my mom called me and 2130 with panic in her voice, and I got this feeling in my gut that I've never gotten before. I fully expected her to tell me that dad is dead.

She told me that she went to his house (he is living in a house owned by our church's pastor - he's a family friend) and she said it was a wreck, dad was out of it, with various lacerations and injuries about him. There was blood everywhere as he was stumbling around; his pills were scattered everywhere. There didn't appear to be evidence of ETOH, but rather the ativan, zoloft and dilantin he is on. She called 911 but he refused to go - they treated him superficially and stopped the bleeding. The paramedics told my mom that she just has to "let him go."

We called my dad's sisters who we are somwhat estranged from, to alert them. We all feel that the violent ending the pscyhic told my sister of will come true - if not from a car accident but some other violent means. It seems imminent and there is nothing I can do. Nothing. :o

This is the hardest thing I've had to deal with. I went to bed after the phone call; I couldn't even continue looking at my Crate and Barrel catalog. :o I feel guilty smiling or even eating. I feel so helpless, lost and out of control. This is so hard to watch this. I love my dad so much - but sometimes, I think it's better if he died. :o

Just an update for those of you who are interested. Perhaps the psychic was right afterall.

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I am so sorry Suzy. I wish things were not so hard for your family.

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Suzy K just keep talking. talk here. talk to minister, counselor, friend. whoever you feel comfortable confiding in. you have to walk through these bad times and no one can change that for you but you DO NOT HAVE TO WALK ALONE!!!!!!

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Specializes in obstetrics(high risk antepartum, L/D,etc.

Dear Suzy K, As the adult (some question that) child of alcoholic parents, I know where you are. Al-Anon is one very good way to go, Remember, there is strength in numbers.

So far as the psychic (or is that psycho?) If they were any good, they could predict lottery numbers, or winning horses and clean up. Nough said.

Suzy, you need to remember your dad is a grown up, even if he doesn't behave like one. You can't be his caretaker. He has to want help before anyone can help him, and it sounds as though he doesn't want help---yet. The one thing that you can do for him is talk to God. Say a prayer for his wellbeing. Say a prayer for his deciding that he needs help. And , remember that you have tons of friends that want to help you. You've reached out to this group, and i'm sure that those of us that are so inclined will include your dad in our prayers also. Keep the Faith, and remember God loves you and so do I.

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Specializes in Med surg, hospice.

I am a Christian. I don't want to ruffel any feathers here, but I would pray to the Lord about this.......DO NOT LISTEN TO PSYCHIC crap! It is not truth. I believe that there are people out there with "special powers" or whatever but they are using them for their own self glory and gain; like soothersayers in the bible.

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Specializes in Community Health Nurse.

Hi Suzy K, :)

There is plenty you can still do for your dad! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Then start praying without ceasing, and all of us on this BB who have shared our concern with you on this thread will continue to lift your dad, your other family members, and yourself up in prayer.

[Wherever two or three believers are gathered in My Name (referring to Jesus here), there I (Jesus) will be also, and whatever you ask in prayer will be given unto you.] (Paraphrased scripture from The Bible)

Suzy, it sure sounds like there are more than three believers gathered here, so we will all agree to lift this situation up in prayer, surrendering its outcome to our Almighty God for Him to guide and direct according to His Perfect Will for all involved.

God may not come when we want Him, but He's always 'right on time! ;) Trust in Him, Suzy K. Let go and let God take care of you, your father, and your other family members in this situation. Begin to see your glass half full instead of half empty where your father is concerned. Being positive is so much better than being negative and downhearted for the latter has never gotten any of us anywhere. ;)

:kisses and (((HUGS))) to you. May you rest in God's Perfect Peace this night. God created your father. HE knows all about him from before conception throughout his entire life. Even before your father knew you - Suzy K - God was there for him. Start praying peaceful thoughts and a spirit of surrender tonight, even if your heart and mind aren't quite there yet, let your spirit stay tuned in to God's Spirit, and things will be brighter in the morning.

After every storm, there's a rainbow! A sign of God's Promise that He has never left us alone to fight our own battles. Do what you can do for your dad, and that which you cannot do, surrender it to God. It's way too big for you, Suzy K. Let go! Loving you from a distance! :kisses

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Specializes in LDRP; Education.

Renee-

I am a Catholic, and I often pray to God about my father. But it is soooooo hard to just put my faith in Him like that - because all I see is my dad being unsafe, not well, and in pain. But I guess that is why it's called faith.

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Specializes in Community Health Nurse.

I understand, Suzy K. It's okay to feel as you do. Sometimes when we can't find the words to pray, or cling to the faith that God will prevail in a given situation that worries us, we turn to others who are not as emotionally connected to the situation and ask others to pray for us. You have done that here by sharing this with us on this thread. Therefore, we will pray for you and continue to lift you higher in God's Perfect Love, and pray for His Perfect Peace to sustain you in your hour of need, and in that of your father's as well. You must be sooooo exhausted! (((HUGS))) and :kisses. I do hope and pray your rest tonight will be perfect for you. Sleep is good for the body, especially in times of great stress and worry. :)

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What an insightful thread and it is truly amazing how many nurses have alcoholic parents, isn't it? This fact alone should give us 'cause for pause' as we deal with one another, as the issues of children of alcoholics reemerge in our workplace dealings with one another......BIG lightbulb going on here! :)

Susy, I lost my ETOH Dad last year to cancer and although it was very difficult, it pales in comparison to what your family is going through and my heart goes out to you all. Will your mother consider a placement of any kind or is that out of the question?

My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Alanon was helpful to me as I struggled to understand the ongoing ramifications of the disease of addiction. I see the codependency in my own child and struggle to right the wrong to this day.

God Bless!

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Aw God Suzy,

Don't know what to write here, everything important was written already.

Thinking and praying for you, take care, Renee

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Suzy, I'm so sorry to hear that your Dad is not doing well. Maybe you should let your nursing instructors know now that you have a family crisis, and see if you can work out a plan so if anything happens before your next test or paper you won't get in trouble. I know that probably seems like the least of your problems now, but it might be a good move. Can you spend some time with your Dad, and just let him know you love him? Good luck- I'll be praying for you and your family.

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