I call my patients by their name. I also call them "sir" "maam" "honey" or "friend" especially since all of them are in critical condition. This message is for the nurse who told me not to call her patients "honey" and was nasty about it:
Be grateful I am providing good, solid care for your patients and don't sweat the small stuff. Your license(which took at least two years to earn) is on the line when it comes to the care they receive from both of us. I call everyone "honey". I have lived in the South and in Texas and it is what has been ingrained in me. I am not putting anyone down so just chill. Believe me, I have better things to do. Oh, and by the way, you might have noticed that I was quite busy helping other RNs during the last shift we shared and you wiped your patient's backside most of the night. Keep up the snide comments and you will get more of the same.....
I admit, I let "Hun" slide a few times in my shift, even though I was told not to in nursing school. No one has :seemed: to have a problem with it, but they possibly could have and just not said anything. Some people DO see it as demeaning, even if you don't. Better to just avoid it. Just this week, a doctor walked down the hall and said to me "Bye Sweetie". Its never bothered me before, but it made me cringe. I didn't even respond. Ugh!
However, to the OP. I was an aide for 3 years. Don't sweat the small stuff. Sometimes, being an aide can be extremely hectic. Its never-ending! And then to be crapped on just sucks. If she/he said it nicely, stick it in the back of your brain as something to remember. If she said it annoyingly (word?), you can avoid the nurse. Just don't avoid the patients!
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
And believe me, I know it can be hard to be told you're doing something wrong, even when it seems trivial (whether that means it's trivial or just trivial to you is another matter). Sure, I've acted in immature ways before. But I have *never, ever* let it affect my job performance, and I pray I never will.
yes- The ability to handle constructive criticism in a professional manner comes with maturity-as does the ability to work side by side with people you don't much like. An adult can put their feelings aside and unite with their peers to deliver the best care possible to the health care recipients in their care. And also separate your personal beliefs from that of your patient. You may not find "honey" "sweetie" or "sugar" offensive but someone else might-that includes your patient . We were taught in school that the use of diminutive nicknames is demeaning and robs our patients of their dignity and individuality at a vulnerable time. All boards of nursing (RN,LPN and certified/licensed nursing assistants) have made it our responsibilty to safe guard our patient's rights and dignity. Every facility has resident/healthcare recipient's rights clearly posted. Read them. In the future if you don't want feedback then don't post a vent..On this board you'll get every opinion possible if you can handle it.If you are right others will support you-if they feel you are wrong they'll tell you why which will hopefully help you learn and grow in your professional life.
I didn't say you did. I was just surprised that you said "the OP didn't do anything wrong," and then I pointed out what I thought the OP did that was wrong. I know denying wrongdoing isn't the same as claiming what was done is right, which is why I didn't accuse you of saying what the OP did was right. I asked you if you did or did not think it was wrong.
And that's the problem. Posting on the internet *IS* hindsight. The OP has had time to think about the event and formulate and rearrange their thoughts. And it still comes off as unprofessional and irresponsible. The OP shows no indication that she would deal with it another way now, in fact, she SAYS she will continue to act in an unprofessional manner when she shares a shift with that nurse again!
I'm not trying to be mean or say I'm better than anyone else. What I'm saying is that I'm apalled by the actions and potental future actions involved in this situation, because I think excellent patient care (every patient, every time) is more important than hurt feelings/anger/dislike of coworkers/etc. And believe me, I know it can be hard to be told you're doing something wrong, even when it seems trivial (whether that means it's trivial or just trivial to you is another matter). Sure, I've acted in immature ways before. But I have *never, ever* let it affect my job performance, and I pray I never will.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say you didn't read the OP's clarification of her intentions. That is why someone else told you that you're dissecting and microanalyzing the post. I'm not going to argue semantics. Because that's exactly what this is going to turn into especially when the OP has ALREADY stated her intentions and the fact that she knows her post was misleading.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say you didn't read the OP's clarification of her intentions.
I did actually, which is why I directed a question to the OP after reading them, since her replies didn't clarify for me my main concern and actually seemed to contradict her original post rather than clarify, and I was hoping she'd humor me with some additional discourse. But since she hasn't answered, and this thread has gotten a little out of hand (and I recognize at least some fault in that), I assume she's not interested in further discussion, which is of course her prerogative. I probably wouldn't reply to me either.
I'm not trying to stir up drama, just trying to understand. Just trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle that the OP put out there. You don't seem to be offended in your comment here, but I just want to put out there that I didn't mean to offend you in my comments in response to yours, and I hope I didn't. If I did, I am honestly sorry. I can get a little fired up on issues regarding patient care, and I need to work on my tone in online writing.
I call my patients by their name. I also call them "sir" "maam" "honey" or "friend" especially since all of them are in critical condition. This message is for the nurse who told me not to call her patients "honey" and was nasty about it:
I call everyone "honey". I have lived in the South and in Texas and it is what has been ingrained in me. I am not putting anyone down so just chill. Believe me, I have better things to do.
I am a born and bred Southerner. Having said that, you will learn in life that you need to break some of what is "ingrained" in you. "Honey" and "sweetie" are not acceptable to many people. They may not complain about it but will think it is presumptious.
Part of Southern Hospitality is making others comfortable, even if it makes you personally less comfortable. That means calling the pt by their prefered method of address, even if we are "ingrained" otherwise. I have found plenty of people "up North" that find "sir" and "ma'am" offensive. It is difficult for me, but part of being a gracious southern woman means adjusting to this.
Another part of hospitality is learning to rise above small slights to be ultimately effective in life and work.
To the OP it sounds like this RN was abrupt in how she spoke to you, is she like this to everyone else? Perhaps a chat with her to say that you appreciate what she's saying but her way of speaking to you is a bit rude.
Re: the pet names, it's really best not to call patients honey, sugar etc. It may not seem demeaning to you and others but some people really find it condescending. To be honest it's not really professional to call someone a pet name and while it may make some people feel comforted this is one of those things where you just have to toe the line with.
BellaInBlueScrubsRN
118 Posts
I admit, I let "Hun" slide a few times in my shift, even though I was told not to in nursing school. No one has :seemed: to have a problem with it, but they possibly could have and just not said anything. Some people DO see it as demeaning, even if you don't. Better to just avoid it. Just this week, a doctor walked down the hall and said to me "Bye Sweetie". Its never bothered me before, but it made me cringe. I didn't even respond. Ugh!
However, to the OP. I was an aide for 3 years. Don't sweat the small stuff. Sometimes, being an aide can be extremely hectic. Its never-ending! And then to be crapped on just sucks. If she/he said it nicely, stick it in the back of your brain as something to remember. If she said it annoyingly (word?), you can avoid the nurse. Just don't avoid the patients!