I call my patients by their name. I also call them "sir" "maam" "honey" or "friend" especially since all of them are in critical condition. This message is for the nurse who told me not to call her patients "honey" and was nasty about it:
Be grateful I am providing good, solid care for your patients and don't sweat the small stuff. Your license(which took at least two years to earn) is on the line when it comes to the care they receive from both of us. I call everyone "honey". I have lived in the South and in Texas and it is what has been ingrained in me. I am not putting anyone down so just chill. Believe me, I have better things to do. Oh, and by the way, you might have noticed that I was quite busy helping other RNs during the last shift we shared and you wiped your patient's backside most of the night. Keep up the snide comments and you will get more of the same.....
She isn't purposefully doing anything wrong and you're jumping to conclusions and assuming she's making threats.
You don't think it's wrong to *choose* not to help that nurse with the care of that nurse's patient/s after this incident, and then boast about it online? That's intentional, unprofessional, and unacceptable behavior.
I sure hope the OP knows that it's the patients that she's making to suffer, not the nurse.
You don't think it's wrong to *choose* not to help that nurse with the care of that nurse's patient/s after this incident, and then boast about it online? That's intentional, unprofessional, and unacceptable behavior.
I sure hope the OP knows that it's the patients that she's making to suffer, not the nurse.
I never she said she was right. I was speaking in regards to ktwlpn's reaction to her calling people pet names. NOT about her refusing to help. I never said I agree with anything the OP said. If we as nurses believe someone is doing the wrong thing, it's not our place to climb upon our high horses and degrade someone for making a mistake in judgment. If you see something wrong with the way someone is handling a situation, the correct thing to do is say "while I understand your frustration, i don't think it would be a good idea to.....because...." Not be nasty to people. No one here is perfect. I'm sure all of us have been put in situations in which we could've dealt with it in a better way in hindsight. What we should be here to do is support each other, not knock people for their mistake in judgment because all that ends up happening is the message gets lost. People can't see what you're really trying to say because your statements are clouded with judgment. Give the woman advice about how to deal with the situation in a professional manner, point out where she is wrong, but don't point out someone's faults if you're not going to offer a constructive solution to the manner. She's a human being, hello? She's not perfect and no one walking this earth is.
A few CNA's I work with often use terms like "honey" or "sweetheart." It has never bothered me....mostly because these ladies work hard and do a great job of taking care of their patients.
However, something happened yesterday that made me rethink my stance on this.
My grandmother is at home right now with hospice...she is mostly sleeping, not eating much, and not talking much. The caregiver yesterday kept calling her babe. As in "what do you need babe?" "Do you want some soup babe?"
I know my grandmother would not appreciate being called babe and is in no position to stand up for herself. It felt really disrespectful. Also, hearing this woman saying "babe" over and over almost drove me nuts. I polietly asked the woman if she would call my grandmother by her first name. I got a dirty look, but didn't have to hear babe for the rest of my visit, thank god.
The OP has every right to vent....and I hate to comment on someones vent...but I just had to with this one. The nurse who asked you to stop doing it may have had an experience like mine. Also, RN's are trained that using those terms are unprofessional...I would have gotten in HUGE trouble in nursing school if I would have called a patient honey.
Finally, I dont even know what to say about the fact that you neglected patients because you were mad at the nurse. Pretty disgusting if you ask me.
Specializes in long term care Alzheimers Patients.
Whoa-great attitude. So you'll "get back" at a nurse you have a personal problem with by taking it out on the patients? Nice. I perceive your comments as threatening and it sounds like you have a BIG problem with authority. News flash-some people consider "honey" very demeaning.It does not really matter where you are from-you've been told to stop it so you should. Perhaps you don't realize how it sounds. I want my loved ones treated with respect no matter how ill they may be-Not "honey" or "sugar" I am guessing you have been told about this before-I would give you one verbal warning and then write you up. If you work in LTC it's something the dept of health considers disrespectful and we don't do it. What exactly is an "LNA"? Is it the same thing as a certifiied nurse assistant? I was not aware that any state "licensed" aides..
A LNA is a Licensed Nursing assistant . They are licensed in the state of N.H.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
I never she said she was right. I was speaking in regards to ktwlpn's reaction to her calling people pet names. NOT about her refusing to help. I never said I agree with anything the OP said. If we as nurses believe someone is doing the wrong thing, it's not our place to climb upon our high horses and degrade someone for making a mistake in judgment. If you see something wrong with the way someone is handling a situation, the correct thing to do is say "while I understand your frustration, i don't think it would be a good idea to.....because...." Not be nasty to people. No one here is perfect. I'm sure all of us have been put in situations in which we could've dealt with it in a better way in hindsight. What we should be here to do is support each other, not knock people for their mistake in judgment because all that ends up happening is the message gets lost. People can't see what you're really trying to say because your statements are clouded with judgment. Give the woman advice about how to deal with the situation in a professional manner, point out where she is wrong, but don't point out someone's faults if you're not going to offer a constructive solution to the manner. She's a human being, hello? She's not perfect and no one walking this earth is.
I perceived by the OP's attitude in her post that this was likely not the first time this nurse counseled her about this.Maybe this is where the nurses frustration came from? Add in the fact that the OP apparently has a problem with anyone telling her to do or not do anything . We don't KNOW if the nurse was truly "nasty" we were'nt there.But the OP's attitude was very clearly revealed in her post. An aide with this type of attitude can be very dangerous.She clearly implied she would ignore the care needs of this nurse's patients because she is angry at her. I have no respect for someone like this. I have seen this type of behavior have very serious outcomes-patients have been endangered and jobs were lost. I have often seen patients react negatively and very strongly towards "pet names" both in acute and long term care. Staff are robbing them of their dignity when they are most vulnerable.I have worked in a private LTC in which I cared for some very well known and brilliant people-never called any of then "honey" no matter how ill or demented they may have been.
Hold up a sec here...I never said that I would refuse to help anyone with a patient or deny a patient of respect and care. Believe me, I will do anything throughout my shift to bring comfort and care to anyone at anytime. I am on my feet instantly when those call lights go off, so just relax:)
I was actually stunned to hear the nurse's critcism(By the way it was the first time anyone said anything to me about it at anytime). We are not talking about calling someone a racial slur; we are talking about a term of endearment, one that is used alongside Mr. Smith or Bob. Honestly, if someone were to write me up for something like that, I would probably give my notice. Here I am, giving the best care I can(and,again, I would have helped the nurse in question had she asked for it) and you are going to get upset over this? Please.
I perceived by the OP's attitude in her post that this was likely not the first time this nurse counseled her about this.Maybe this is where the nurses frustration came from? Add in the fact that the OP apparently has a problem with anyone telling her to do or not do anything . We don't KNOW if the nurse was truly "nasty" we were'nt there.But the OP's attitude was very clearly revealed in her post. An aide with this type of attitude can be very dangerous.She clearly implied she would ignore the care needs of this nurse's patients because she is angry at her. I have no respect for someone like this. I have seen this type of behavior have very serious outcomes-patients have been endangered and jobs were lost. I have often seen patients react negatively and very strongly towards "pet names" both in acute and long term care. Staff are robbing them of their dignity when they are most vulnerable.I have worked in a private LTC in which I cared for some very well known and brilliant people-never called any of then "honey" no matter how ill or demented they may have been.
1. I have no problem with direction. We all need it at times.
2. Again, it is about perception. I don't perceive the term "honey" to be bad and you do. Different strokes for different folks. If it is that much of an issue, make a policy and stick it in the employee handbook.
A few CNA's I work with often use terms like "honey" or "sweetheart." It has never bothered me....mostly because these ladies work hard and do a great job of taking care of their patients.
However, something happened yesterday that made me rethink my stance on this.
My grandmother is at home right now with hospice...she is mostly sleeping, not eating much, and not talking much. The caregiver yesterday kept calling her babe. As in "what do you need babe?" "Do you want some soup babe?"
I know my grandmother would not appreciate being called babe and is in no position to stand up for herself. It felt really disrespectful. Also, hearing this woman saying "babe" over and over almost drove me nuts. I polietly asked the woman if she would call my grandmother by her first name. I got a dirty look, but didn't have to hear babe for the rest of my visit, thank god.
The OP has every right to vent....and I hate to comment on someones vent...but I just had to with this one. The nurse who asked you to stop doing it may have had an experience like mine. Also, RN's are trained that using those terms are unprofessional...I would have gotten in HUGE trouble in nursing school if I would have called a patient honey.
Finally, I dont even know what to say about the fact that you neglected patients because you were mad at the nurse. Pretty disgusting if you ask me.
First of all, sorry about your grandmother:( Second of all, I did not neglect anyone. Third, you raise an interesting point. You asked the aide to call your grandmother by her first name. Well, we all know that someone, somewhere is going to be mad because the aide did not call your grandmother "Mrs.Whatever". People are always going to find a reason to be ******, I guess.
I always ask pt's what they would like to be called/addressed as at the beginning of my shift when I meet them. You'd be amazed how many people have been called 'Bob' their entire stay and they go by Steve (middle name or nickname). I think it also allows them a moment to say, call me Mr.Smith, Paul, or Skip and allows autonomy. I try to keep to sweetie/honey etc to an absolute minimum because it is diminutive, and implies the people are younger or not whole people, and enough dignity is already removed in the hospital setting.
I always ask pt's what they would like to be called/addressed as at the beginning of my shift when I meet them. You'd be amazed how many people have been called 'Bob' their entire stay and they go by Steve (middle name or nickname). I think it also allows them a moment to say, call me Mr.Smith, Paul, or Skip and allows autonomy. I try to keep to sweetie/honey etc to an absolute minimum because it is diminutive, and implies the people are younger or not whole people, and enough dignity is already removed in the hospital setting.
Ah, this is something near and dear to my heart. I use a version of my middle name, NEVER my first name. I know that when I'm sitting in some nsg home years from now, some nurses or aides will call me my first name, thinking it's a nice thing to do. When I don't respond, they'll think I'm ignoring them or unresponsive. Nope, it's because it never occurs to me that you're talking to me if you use my first name. It used to happen all the time in drs' offices until I trained myself to respond to my first name, which isn't that common.
I refuse to call someone by their first name unless I know that is what they want. Now that I'm almost 50, I have begun to slip to calling some of my senior patients honey or sweetie. I used to do that with patients in palliative care too. I have no idea where it came from or why, I just kind of started doing that. I don't overdo it and if someone seems to object, I stop right away.
I call my patients by their name. I also call them "sir" "maam" "honey" or "friend" especially since all of them are in critical condition. This message is for the nurse who told me not to call her patients "honey" and was nasty about it:
Be grateful I am providing good, solid care for your patients and don't sweat the small stuff. Your license(which took at least two years to earn) is on the line when it comes to the care they receive from both of us. I call everyone "honey". I have lived in the South and in Texas and it is what has been ingrained in me. I am not putting anyone down so just chill. Believe me, I have better things to do. Oh, and by the way, you might have noticed that I was quite busy helping other RNs during the last shift we shared and you wiped your patient's backside most of the night. Keep up the snide comments and you will get more of the same.....
Love,
Your LNA;)
I'm going to file this away under "Useful Stuff to Remember When I'm a Nurse!"
If the nurse doesn't like you calling people sugary names, then just don't do it. I understand how much it sucks to get a talking to about something, but still... even if you don't mind, she does. Why would you intentionally keep doing something that annoys someone? I always adapt my behavior to what my coworkers want. If I know a nurse like her vitals early, I do them early. If she focuses more on the supplement drinks, I do that first. If a CNA wants to toilet people in a certain order, I do it their way. Less needless conflict for everyone.
I know your "sweetie" habit is well-intentioned, but I bet a lot of your patients aren't comfortable with it. I'm not from the South and I HATE being called "honey" or "sweetie." It doesn't bother me when the residents call me that because they're old enough to be my grandparents (or great-grandparents), but it gets on my nerves when another CNA does it to me. I know it'll bug me when I'm old to have someone calling me that.
juliaann
634 Posts
You don't think it's wrong to *choose* not to help that nurse with the care of that nurse's patient/s after this incident, and then boast about it online? That's intentional, unprofessional, and unacceptable behavior.
I sure hope the OP knows that it's the patients that she's making to suffer, not the nurse.