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I'll take this with a pat on the head any day over some of the asses I've witnessed practicing out there.He's very kind and approachable and he seems pretty dedicated to making sure the patients get the best care. Whenever they call for something, he goes out of his way to make sure they get it in a timely manner.
Years ago we had a doc faced with a woman sitting at the edge of her bed weeping. He did not ask her why she was crying, but patted her leg after doing his rounds.
I asked him if she talked to him about her concerns...reply, "What concerns?" I asked him if she was weeping...reply, "Yes". I asked, "well, did she open up to you about her concerns?" "Don't all women weep at the bedside for no reason?"
Honest to God.
He did not ask, and she did not offer (although she talked freely to me, and after that, said that she would be able to discuss the issues with him when he came around without a supportive presense in the room.
(sigh) The infamous pat on the knee.
Think it's a generational issue. Have seen caring Docs give pat on the head before...less so these days.
No kidding? I've never seen anything like this before, but thanks for the perspective. sheesh.
Are the patients complaining? Well......I've seen their looks of disgust or anger, yup. And yes, a couple have grumbled under their breath to me, no "official" complaints have been made.
In the bigger picture, that's probably the least of their worries...still it makes me cringe. But it's interesting to know that this is probably just some old habit left from the "old days."
Maybe he is just used to relating that way. I heard that physicians didn't take classes in communication; and that may be a wave of the future. It doesn't seem to me that he means it to be condescending. If the doctor was listening to me and really caring about the outcome of my care, that would be the least of my issues; although I can understand why you think it is a bit outdated or inappropriate.
SharonH, RN
2,144 Posts
Not the arm, the back or the shoulder but the HEAD.
A little background: the head of our division is a 67-year old man who is well respected in his field. He's very kind and approachable and he seems pretty dedicated to making sure the patients get the best care. Whenever they call for something, he goes out of his way to make sure they get it in a timely manner.
BUT, he pats the patients on the head after talking to them and sometimes when he is just saying hello. It's a paternalistic and condescending gesture and I think he does it to show......??? I don't know, but I do not believe he is being malicious. Still I cringe when he does that and I've seen the looks they've given him when he does it. Our population is primarily poor and minority, he cannot be that clueless as to how bad that is but apparently so. It would be easier to speak up if he were mean or rude but this? I don't know what to do, I just had to vent.