Personality question for the guys (and any gals who might have an opinion)

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Okay, I have a question for some of you guys (and any gals who are looking around who might have an opinon on this): I'm a woman who spent several years in a male dominated field (military), and as such, I'm pretty accustomed to off color jokes, etc. During that time, I got used to having to take charge of things in my unit, and bascially act as a man would in order to gain the respect of my peers. Now that I'm entering a female dominated field, I'm wondering if the traits I developed in the military to deal with my all male coworkers are going to become a hindrance. There are certain characteristics that I feel will be beneficial to my patients, but at the same time, I don't want to tread on any toes by seeming disrespectful. To make the situation worse, I live in the South, where women are supposed to be meek and mild and stay at home (at least in the small town where I live).

So, guys (and gals); do you think you would rather work with someone who is straight forward and to the point, or someone who is more feminine (in the sense of being mild mannered)? Mind you, there are only a handful of males in my class of 40 (around 7, I think), but many of the women are the epitome of the Southern belle.

Any input is appreciated...

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Specializes in Pediatrics Only.
To make the situation worse, I live in the South, where women are supposed to be meek and mild and stay at home (at least in the small town where I live).

Blah.

Someone needs to tell them to move their behinds into the 21st century.

Honestly though, about personality - I want to work with a nurse who is straight forward, but who is also not scary straight forward and to the point. I dont like the ones who mingle around all day and do only the basic care for their patients so they can chit chat with everyone else.

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I like straight shooters too. Especially when it comes to my instructors. It's been a weird experience for me being a mans man in a female dominated field. I haven't had any disrespect or anything, in fact all the people who have worked with me have been very kind.

Whats odd for me is being on the other side of the fence and getting special treatment I guess you could say for being a male. But it's not because I command some superior complex of masculinity or anything. I think it's because im just the odd ball, and people seem to want to root for the underdog.

My nursing class is comprised of all types of personalities. I think that is what makes nursing so unique. My mother in law for instance, ( also an RN) is the charge nurse for an emergency department. She had a filthy mouth, a twisted sense of humor and quick wits. She developed most of this after working in the ER, because it helps her deal with some of the stuff she sees on a daily basis. Some patients love it, others think she is being rude.

so to answer your question... Just be yourself, and the best nurse you can be. You will never get along with everyone, and you are going to have some patients and coworkers who really appreciate and adore your personality, and those who get rubbed the wrong way by it. thats just life.

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Thanks, that's the response I was hoping for. I know that in my prereq classes, I have already rubbed some people the wrong way (you know, like when I asked the prom queen to turn her damned cell phone off during lecture because I was trying to pay attention, that type of stuff), and I'm hoping that the skills that I learned in the military would be beneficial to my new career. I'm slated to start the 14th of Jan, and I'm really looking forward to getting my hands into the actual 'meat' of being a nurse. And I am ever so grateful to have found this website where there are lots of different people from all different walks of life going through the same things I am.

:monkeydance:

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Specializes in Critical Care.

Phoenixfire,

I would much rather have an assertive nurse at my bedside who knows her stuff than a pretty "Southern Belle". Just be yourself and you will be fine but remember, there is a difference between confidence and cockiness. Best of luck with everything.

Focker2

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Specializes in ICU.

I'm female and work with a former military male nurse who is also our charge nurse. He's straightforward and very respectful towards the rest of us who are female. However, he also knows (maybe from all his years of experience) how to be tactful in all situations.

Just know that no matter what your sex you have to be aware of your surroundings and the sorts of people you work with. I worked in many fields before entering nursing and this is the one place that I've learned to hold in my entire personality for reasons that I can't quite explain. I'm also from NYC originally, living in the South now, and perhaps my personality doesn't mesh well with this population. I've learned to tether parts of myself just to stay out of sight and mind.

Hope this isn't your experience.

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Specializes in EMS, ER, GI, PCU/Telemetry.

be who you are, chick. dont change anything about yourself or "conform" to become a southern belle. the nurses, male or female, who i have worked with that have military experience are some of the greatest nurses i have worked with, because they are straight to the point, no nonsense, hardworking and think very well on their toes.

when i was in paramedic school, i was one of three girls. i had to prove myself and kind of become "one of the guys"... which was hard for me because i have always been a girly-girl. but i adapted well and i am now told i am kind of cocky and crude. i think it was just because i had to prove myself to all these men (instructors included) i was surrounded by day after day who told me i would never make it because i was too little and i might break a nail. i graduated at the top of my class.

i am a northerner who moved around in the south for a while. i have gotten alot of slack from the nurses i work with here in NC about me being too liberal, not lady like and "dainty" enough, living with a man i'm not married to, dating someone outside my religion, blah blah blah.... but guess what.. i can run circles around them, because while they are busy lecturing me, i am busy working. politics, religion and beliefs have NO PLACE in the classroom or workplace. dont change yourself to make someone else happy.

you will do great. be yourself and keep working hard. people might not "like" you, but they sure as heck will respect you.

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Specializes in OB, M/S, HH, Medical Imaging RN.

I live in the deep south, the land of Southern Belle's but I have yet to run into a Southern Belle that is a nurse. Well, honestly I have, but not in the past 20 years.

I think the direct approach is the best as long as it's done respectfully you won't have any problems. I've worked with several ex military persons and found them delightful to work with. Best of luck and remember we are always here for you.

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Specializes in being a Credible Source.
...would [you] rather work with someone who is straight forward and to the point...

Absolutely. Male or female. Without a doubt.

...or someone who is more feminine (in the sense of being mild mannered)?

Uh, I just don't equate femininity with being mild mannered any more than I equate masculinity with being aggressive. In both cases, some are and some aren't.

Regardless, to the question at hand, "straight forward and to the point" every time.

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I think you should just be yourself. I prefer females who are feminine, just as I prefer mild mannered people in general. But that's me. Some like aggressive or blunt or whatever personalities in others. Find work somewhere you fit in.

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There's nothing wrong with a Southern Belle. I've known a number of Southern Belles who could be quite assertive when they needed to be.

There is a fine line between being straight forward and to the point and being tactless and disrespectful. How you present yourself will determine how you are regarded. If you respect others they will respect you. Quiet competence will win over loud arrogance very time. What you bring to the table is what people will recognize in you. There is no need to "prove" yourself.

Asking the prom queen to turn off the cell phone is not disrespectful, she is the disrespectful one and probably needed the quick witted jab to wake her up. Good for you (and the others in the class).

You have arrived at this point in your life with the social skills needed to get the job done. It's no different here than in any other career field.

Now from a patient perspective, I'd rather be treated by a nurse who was a delicate Southern Belle than a shrieking yankee any day. :D :chuckle

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Thanks to everyone for your replies, it really eases my mind that things like this don't have to stand in the way.

Just to clarify, I used 'feminine' as a general term for lack of a better word. I've noticed most of the women in my area tend to be very catty (in comparison to women in general) and very few are ambitious. Even some of the other women in the program like to 'play dumb' around their friends and especially around their husbands. Now, my husband is originally from the South, am I am originally from Arizona, but he is different in that he loves that I am ambitious and hardworking. I have no desire to sit at home and bake for the rest of my life (although I have much respect for the women who do it) because I'm just not that type of person. I like being busy, I love a challenge, and I think that nursing is going to be a great career for me.

Again, thank you to everyone, I love this website! :w00t:

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