Ok, I find this strange. I've always separated my work life from my private life.. but I live & work in a small community, and I think lines get blurred a little bit. Personally, I prefer to keep lines as separate as possible. Not all my coworkers feel this way, and that makes things a little awkward. (I have a coworker/friend that accepts friend requests from anyone!)
This weekend, I discharged a mom/baby couplet, and I received today a friend request from the mother with a very nice note stating that I was her favorite nurse and she saw me on one of my coworker's myspace pages.
I keep my page private (visible to friends only), and I really only accept friend requests with people that I know and trust. I don't feel comfortable allowing a patient into my personal page. How should I handle this professionally and politely? I'd like to deny the request, but because of the small-town area (and the fact that she's in my age group) I need to do this tactfully!!
So far, for myself. I have found no benefit to be gained from having a myspace webpage. So, I don't have one, nor do I have any plans to set one up. But thats me. I dont spend very much time at all on line. I have other activities I prefer.
I would simply deny the request and send a message to the person about how "professionally" you don't feel comfortable having her as a friend on myspace. If she would like to stay in touch, certainly having her mail to you through work would probably be more acceptable...
I would also deny the request with a short, simple explanation that professionally you need to keep a respectful distance with your patients. Congratulate her again on her baby, thank her profusely for her kind words and feedback on your nursing care, but I just wouldn't go there with a patient, under any circumstances.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
I really feel that once certain lines are crossed, you can never return. You never know with people. It can lead to asking about medical advice, opinions on your collagues and just plain interfering with your life. In addition, it can also cause the nurse to begin revealing things about his/her own private life that may bite them in the rear end later. I remember in school, my professor stated that we are nurses 24 hours a day. Now, that is true, however, we are also entitled not to be invaded upon during private time, and to me, sharing pictures, updates, stories and such with people does cross the line, because some of them will believe that you owe them certain courtesies, thus causing compromising situations.
When I was doing home health I had a young gentleman with an abdominal wound post elective surgery. I cared for him for several weeks, nice enough guy. To my great surprise, after I discharged him, he sent a friend request on Facebook to me. Not wanting to accept or offend, I simply ignored it.
About six months later this fellow's name appeared on my worklist again! More elective surgery...more wound care. I fussed and fretted about what to say to him, but in the end decided not to mention it at all and neither did he.
In the end this was the best situation. I was able to reserve ours as a professional relationship for future encounters, the best outcome for all concerned IMHO.
Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
i have a couple of friends/family members who have personal myspace and facebook pages, and let their students have access to them and be their "friends" (they are schoolteachers). i personally don't feel like this is the best idea, but again, i think it would be a good idea for them to have separate pages for their students.
i think we have the same friends! one of my dear, dear friends is a high school english teacher and many of her students are her friends. the thing is, she has a lot of pictures on her myspace that show that she is a big time party girl. not only is she crossing the teacher/student line, but she's also sort of giving the thumbs up to crazy drunkenness (of course, she's old enough to drink and she never drinks and drives, but you get what i'm saying).
i have looked up a patient on myspace. she was a sweet lady, and was given hiv by her fiance who was on the down low. she never sought hiv treatment and died of aids before she turned 30. i just wanted to see if she had a page, since she was young, and read what people put on her page in tribute. (a lot of people who pass away end up with their myspaces looking like tribute pages). i didn't post anything, i just wanted to see.
but i've never had a patient request me. i would most likely ignore it, then never bring it up to the patient if our paths crossed again.
You should simply deny the request and be honest. You can deny the request AS WELL as send that person a message on myspace. Professional lines and personal lines should not be crossed. What if you take care of this person again or the little one? They might not want private information disclosed either..... You need to protect yourself as well as your patients. Send a nice reply stating that you enjoyed taking care of them and to ensure their privacy (and yours) that adding them to your personal page is not in the best interest of both parties. I think this is a tactful, and respectful way to handle it. People will appreciate your professionalism. I have a lawyer and an accountant for a rental house business. Both are great people, but I don't add them to my facebook personal page. As for creating a second page- I think that takes work, and is not very genuine. Better to be honest in a tactful way- IMHO.
Good luck.
I completely agree with this.. you never know what could be used should something really unfortunate happen with legal issues, or if you end up taking care of them again and issues arise from them feeling like they are a personal friend and not a patient. It was a nice gesture.. maybe the patient doesn't have a career with professional and legal implications as serious as nursing. Actually, I can't really think of a profession where it would be a good idea to have your clients, students, patients, etc as a friend on myspace unless it was a very specific type of networking tool (for bands, artists, authors, etc.). Good luck!
I would agree , politely decline the myspace friendship.
Whenever I discharge patients. I always say." Send the unit a christmas postcard if you think about it, to update us on how you are doing . We love knowing how our former patients are doing."
Now some patients do, and some do not. It really leaves it up to them.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
I completely agree with this.. you never know what could be used should something really unfortunate happen with legal issues, or if you end up taking care of them again and issues arise from them feeling like they are a personal friend and not a patient. It was a nice gesture.. maybe the patient doesn't have a career with professional and legal implications as serious as nursing. Actually, I can't really think of a profession where it would be a good idea to have your clients, students, patients, etc as a friend on myspace unless it was a very specific type of networking tool (for bands, artists, authors, etc.). Good luck!
I have seen patients really take advantage of what they perceive as a personal friendship. Some of them approach me during my lunch break (when I am not in the building), to mull over things such as complaints, ask me to make appointments, ask medical advice or even to gossip about my collagues. Once, someone asked me to use my cell phone. Some demand that I put them ahead of other patients, all sorts of inconvienent actions that will compromise my integrity. I'd just rather not and that is the end of it.
Funny, my co-workers and I were discussing this recently only we were referring to Facebook. We came to the conclusion that you either decline the add and explain nicely that it would be unprofessional or accept the invite and give them a limited profile view. I don't know if that is an option on MySpace, but it is on FB where you can choose what parts of your profile they can see.
I've never had that happen to me, but something similar. I've had a patient ask for my email address. I didn't want to be mean so I lied and said sorry but I didn't have email and he thought I lived under a rock :9 In retrospect I should have been honest and told him it was unprofessional instead of lying. Another time a patient asked for my phone number while his wife stepped out of the room! I ignored it hoping he would get the clue that he had crossed the line, but he asked again and I just said as nicely as possible that I couldn't do that because it was unprofessional. These things catch you off guard but the safest answer is just that. They can't take it personally because its true.
Iam46yearsold
839 Posts
So far, for myself. I have found no benefit to be gained from having a myspace webpage. So, I don't have one, nor do I have any plans to set one up. But thats me. I dont spend very much time at all on line. I have other activities I prefer.