Patients Say the Darnedest Things - WIN $250! Nurses Week Contest 2018

Nurses General Nursing

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We've all been there. In our time as nurses, we've heard patients say some pretty wild things. Whether it's off-the-wall reasons for how they came to need medical care or something as seemingly mundane as a catchphrase which a patient uttered that resulted in you having a laughing fit; those memorable phrases, reasons or moments could win you one of two $250 Amazon.com gift cards courtesy of relode.

Dust off those memories and leave them in the comment form below. The two grand prize winners will be announced during National Nurses Week but have no fear - even if you don't win one of the grand prizes, we are giving away some cool runner-up prize packs to two more lucky winners!

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We all know that patients say the darnedest things, let us hear your best! Thanks for all that you, our nation's nurses, do and Happy National Nurses Week!

Be sure to enter our two previous contests for more chances to win...

Have fun!

[button=https://allnurses.com/national_nurses_week-info.html]National Nurses Week Celebration

30 Days of Celebration / 8 Days of Giveaways[/button]

UPDATED May 9 ... and the winner is...

As promised, the winners are posted below. Thanks for all of the awesome and creative entries!!! Feel free to share!

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My favorite thing a patient said....she was returning for a follow up post SHINGLES OUTBREAK. during her check in

I asked her...

"Do you know why your here today"?

she loudy Proclaims

" I'm all cleared of the Syphllis"!

Her son almost passed out thinking this was true!! Love my geriatric patients!!

There are so many but a cute one I remember was when I asked a patient if she knew how old she was (she was 103 so it was pretty impressive) she said no. When I told she stated "Oh boy! No wonder I'm always so cold." She lived till 104!

When your patient says that you look identical to his 46 year old daughter... I am 25 lmao

Student says they are allergic to Candy and he ate some. I call mom to find out what the student is exactly allergic to. Mom says, he isn't allergic to anything I just tell him that so he won't eat ti much Candy.....

Specializes in NICU.

Elderly patient i was doing am care on lying on her side looking over her shoulder says:"watch out for the stool honey, ...don't let it get on you".

Specializes in NICU.

An OB patient, says imperiously: I am having visitors today, where is the food pantry.

Another OB :where is your full length mirror?What ,you don't have one?!!What kind of place is this!!!!"

An inmate came in with a medical emergency.

"Please help me! I have anthrax on my back!"

It was about my 3rd day taking care of this 98 yo woman. Her vision was grossly impaired. She couldn't walk. Her son was visiting, asked me if I could help pull her up in bed. Absolutely. Let me get another nurse o help. I come back to the room and informed the patient that nurse Tony was going to assist me in pulling her up in bed.

This frail little lady motions me to come close to her. I bent over, "yes, ma'am?" She motioned me to come a little closer. I complied. Her son looking extremely puzzled. She says ever so softly, "honey, is Tony colored too?"

I could see in the corner of my eye that her son was just absolutely beside himself. I looked at her, smiled and whispered, "yes ma'am. Tony is peach". The corners of her mouth turned up forming the slightest of grins. She reached for my hand, squeezed it tight and nodded.

That happened 15 years ago. And it still puts a smile on my face whenever I think about it. Teaching moment for both of us.

Will this potassium drip hurt my baby??? (Patient tested positive for meth use).

Brought a 4 year old back to the ER for c/o abd pain, fever and vomit x1. As we were walking back I asked if they were not feeling well, they replied "I threw up." I asked the parent and patient when the last bowel movement was, they looked a little lost so I asked if patient had a bowel movement today and the patient said no. I asked if they had one yesterday and they replied, "Yes! A big turd!" and held their hands out to show how big it was!

Little old lady walking down the hall looking very worried. I asked what was wrong. She responded she wet herself. Patient was newly incontinent and early dementia. I assisted her back to her room and helped get her cleaned and changed. As I was cleaning her she suddenly yelled "My coochie itches!" I had to hold my breath to prevent myself from laughing.

I had a patient tell me they were allergic to Zofran because they were allergic to fruit and the Zofran tastes like fruit. Also because their significant other was allergic.

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