Patients come in all demeanors and as nurses you've certainly seen some doozies. Patients (and their families) definitely say some laugh-worthy things during their time in your care. In honor of National Nurses Week 2019, we want you to share your hilarious patient sayings, quotes or stories in the comments below. Thanks to InstruSafe, you could win $200!
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When I was a new nurse many years ago, I worked in SICU and brought back fresh hearts. When the man was wheeled into his room on a gurney, something didn't quite look right. There was a "tent" under his covers. I had to pull down his sheet to do his head-to-toe assessment and there it was, standing at attention. The man was awake enough to tell me "it's ok ma'am. I had a penile implant and I broke the button. It stays like this all the time." I finished my assessment and then left the room laughing and in complete aw. LOL!!
I was never more entertained as I was while working at the nursing home taking care of two of my favorite fellas. These guys were a hoot! ?One used to be a preacher and the other thought he was the sherrif. These two were jealous of one another because of the ladies there (residents and staff) that "belonged" to them. ?Anyway, the staff had to often break them up from one of their spats, and one in particular got kind of heated. The preacher "accidentally" run into the sheriff's wheelchair so the sheriff angrily exclaimed "oww" and the preacher replied back " aww, that didn't hurt ya". So the sheriff says back "Go to hell"! ?The preacher replys back to him " I will, and if you give me a dime, I'll buy your mama a Pepsi when I get there". ??
at the time i was a 28year old nurse, while i was washing a 90year old patient, he suddenly asked me this "nurse, are you a communist?" I couldn't help but laugh and replied: "Sir, if you mean atheïst, then yes" we both laughed for the next 10minutes.
During my capstone I had a new admit psych patient and while we were doing the admission assessment we asked her if she was seeing things that weren't there, which she responds "No." and then we asked if she was hearing voices...but before we could finish up with "that no one else can hear" she promptly responds, "Yes, your stupid voice!" With the same patient, we asked her if she felt safe in her home and she responds "Yes, I call the police and they say, "Quit bothering us!"". I was able to really practice my poker face during this process. LOL
We had a PT come in for a colonoscopy that had a tattoo of Winnie the Pooh on his butt cheek. He mentioned that he tells people that he tells people that he has a "little Pooh on his butt." Least to say, we could not wipe it off. ???
I was never more entertained as I was while working at the nursing home taking care of two of my favorite fellas. These guys were a hoot! ?One used to be a preacher and the other thought he was the sherrif. These two were jealous of one another because of the ladies there (residents and staff) that "belonged" to them. ?Anyway, the staff had to often break them up from one of their spats, and one in particular got kind of heated. The preacher "accidentally" run into the sheriff's wheelchair so the sheriff angrily exclaimed "oww" and the preacher replied back " aww, that didn't hurt ya". So the sheriff says back "Go to hell"! ?The preacher replys back to him " I will, and if you give me a dime, I'll buy your mama a Pepsi when I get there". ??
TracyRNMSN, MSN
10 Posts
When I was a new nurse many years ago, I worked in SICU and brought back fresh hearts. When the man was wheeled into his room on a gurney, something didn't quite look right. There was a "tent" under his covers. I had to pull down his sheet to do his head-to-toe assessment and there it was, standing at attention. The man was awake enough to tell me "it's ok ma'am. I had a penile implant and I broke the button. It stays like this all the time." I finished my assessment and then left the room laughing and in complete aw. LOL!!