2 patients requested not to have me back

Published

I've been working nights in post partum for 8 months now and it's been good so far until last week:sniff:. We usually get the same patient the next night, so I was surprised to find out that one of my patients was assigned to a different nurse. I didn't ask the day supervisor, I thought that maybe they needed to spread the C-sections and the lady partsl deliveries. My co-worker who had my patient during that day told me that the patient requested not to have me back as her nurse, but the patient did not say anything why she did not want me back, I couldn't help but cry coz I felt so bad, I told my supervisor about it, and she told me that the day supervisor did not mention anything to her, if it was something, it will be brought to her attention, she asked the night RN to ask the patient and the pt didn't say anything against me, my supervisor assured me that it's not me, that it happens to most of the nurses there. I didn't hear anything even after the patient was discharged, and the supervisors always do a survey on the pt before they go.

The same thing happened the other night, one of my patients requested not to have me back and her reason is that we don't "click". The day supervisor mentioned it during our huddle and everyone heard it. I was so embarassed:imbar. After everybody left, I cried :cry:. Two consecutive weeks, 2 patients refused me. I feel so bad :cry:. I feel like I lost all the confidence that I gained for the past 8 months. I don't think I'm a bad nurse, I have patients who were very happyn and even sent me a card. I'm Asian, could that be the reason why they refused me? Did they just happen to be racist? :stone They were both nice to me the whole night, I didn't have any hint that they will request not to have me back. I'm trying to be strong and carry on:o

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

Hi,

I am so sorry this happened to you. May I ask if English is your second language? That is the major reason I have seen patients not "clicking" with a nurse or doctor. Difficult communication is a tough one to overcome. If not I'd continue to figure it out perhaps with the help of your supervisor. Wishing you the best. Take care.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU.

It sounds like your patients didn't have any specific complaints and you seem so caring, so I am guessing it was a language barrier. We have had parents request not to have a certain nurse back where I work. This woman is a wonderful, kind nurse. The parents said that they were already so overwhelmed with all that was going on with their baby and the ICU environment in general and the nurse's accent just made it more difficult to comprehend everything. They said they thought she was a good nurse and even seemed a little embarrassed at their request. Some people just have a hard time understanding foreign accented English; others have no problem. I wouldn't take it personally. Keep your head up! At 8 months in I am sure your supervisor's would have let you know if you weren't cutting it!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Sometimes people who harbor a prejudice use this avenue to "get back" at someone for no reason other than the prejudice. Don't take it personally. Instead see it as an opportunity to give care to someone else who appreciates your efforts.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thank you for the reply. Yes, English is my second language, but I don't have a thick accent, some patients are even surprised that I'm only here in the US for more than a year, they said I speak clearly, and to be honest, I consider myself better in speaking English compared to others who have been here for 10, 20 years or so. I don't know, but maybe I still need to work on my communication .

Hi,

I am so sorry this happened to you. May I ask if English is your second language? That is the major reason I have seen patients not "clicking" with a nurse or doctor. Difficult communication is a tough one to overcome. If not I'd continue to figure it out perhaps with the help of your supervisor. Wishing you the best. Take care.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

This sort of thing really rubs my rhubarb.

English is my first language but I speak with a non-US accent. For some reason some people's brains seem to freeze when they hear a strange accent in this country. All of a sudden they throw their hands in the air and say "I just don't understand". The reality is they are usually not listening well.

I have gone to school with and worked with people who speak with "accented" English. No problem understanding them -- also I have found their grammar is frequently superior to some who speak English as a first language.

At least they didn't lie or make up something to get you bumped. Try to feel sorry for them, they are in hospital after all :)

Oooops clearly hit a nerve! This is a post that'll upset someone.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU.
English is my first language but I speak with a non-US accent. For some reason some people's brains seem to freeze when they hear a strange accent in this country. All of a sudden they throw their hands in the air and say "I just don't understand". The reality is they are usually not listening well.

I think that people will also use the speaker's accent either for them or against them, depending on the accent & the listener's home region of the country. Here in southwest Ohio, I find the standard New York/New Jersey speech pattern/accent to be a bit abrasive. A southern accent, on the other hand, always seems more friendly to my ears. Then again, my mom is from south Georgia, so that probably has something to do with it. If you grew up in the northeast, that same southern accent might subliminally scream "uneducated hick" to you.

It's about perceptions, and can be hard to overcome.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I wouldn't automatically assume it's racism. I'm AA and I have had AA resident's that preferred other nurses over me. It's only happened to me a few times but when it did I asked myself a few questions. Was I courteous? Did I appear to be flustered, impatient, or in a rush? Did I really try to do my best to assist them with their needs? If I can truthfully answer yes to all of those questions than I chalk it up to clashing personalities and I LET IT GO! You just can't take these things too personally. Remember as a nurse you will interact with a large volume of people during your career. Do you really expect everyone to like you or like your style of providing care? I think that's an unrealistic expectation. Now if you can't answer yes to the questions above then brush your shoulders off because maybe you were having a bad day and resolve to do better and stay on your toes in the future.

You have to develop a thicker skin and don't take things so personally!!! :redpinkhe

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Telemetry & Obs.

I was "fired" once for laughing (just a little..hehe) when a patient told me he'd be sedated for some enemas for a colonoscopy because his MD assured him he'd be under for the procedure. Um, ok. So I did giggle. HE was the one that refused the go-lytely! I came back from lunch and my CN told me the patient didn't want me anymore...and she assigned him to the most hard-nosed nurse on the unit :D

Btw, of course he wasn't sedated for the enemas. And the aforementioned hard-nosed nurse (who just happens to be my bestest buddy) didn't laugh at all as she gave him enemas until clear :D

You may never know why those patients refused you. Sometimes it just takes a tiny giggle.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I honestly wouldn't feel bad at all. LIke someone said, you will care for literally hundreds of folks in your lifetime, so 2 out of all of them isn't so bad. I know not all have liked me so much.

I can see ladies in that post partum situation just wanting to feel comforted. Perhaps for some, a person who speaks their language in a familiar way is what comforts them. It's sort of ignorant in a way, but it's human nature.

Doubt it has anything to do with the great care you provide to patients!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I think the fact of the matter is that you can be a person who does your job perfectly, and there will still be some people in the world who don't like you. It may be a shock to some people, but that's life.

I don't understand why some people are assuming that these patients were racist when the only thing that was actually said was by one who said they didn't "click".

I am great at my job, get compliments every day, and even I have had some customers just not care for me. I don't have an accent, I haven't made any errors, I have been perfect at my job, and yet...they just don't get a good vibe. It's just the way things work. Everyone doesn't like everyone. It's that simple and it's totally okay.

If it happened ALL the time, I would start to wonder if there were a problem, but otherwise, you just have to take it as a personality difference.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I can totally relate to you as my mom had similar experiences and English's not her first language. However, please don't take it personally. I'm sure many other patients do appreciate your help. "Tomorrow is another day."

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion